Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Men are often judged by how much money they have, I am not saying either way is right, but its just how it is.
Yes I agree but ultimately don't you have to weigh up where you stand on it for yourself and reject the "status quo" if you think it's incorrect?
For instance way back in the beginning of this thread I disagreed with the OP about men not pursuing women anymore. Some guys still do pursue women AND some women still pursue men.
Since then we've heard a whole bunch of really unhappy people lamenting the way they think they're perceived in society who have then proceeded to appropriate blame on everyone else for the problem AND we've heard from a other people who have said that they disagree with the original premise. What I find sad is the people that continue to focus on the way they THINK things are instead of doing a little self reflection and working on themselves before they start blaming everyone else.
I was pursued and I pursued. I don't care how much money he has and it certainly wasn't a factor in my increased interest in him. I don't have to whine to the media or anybody else that he finds other women attractive because somehow despite that fact he clearly still thinks I am attractive above and beyond anybody else he sees.
This isn't specifically directed at you btw brooklyn, I'm just commenting on how the thread has unfolded thus far. It's interesting to say the least.
"Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump."
"There's a sucker born every minute."
P.T. Barnum
The internet ruined the natural "balance" between the sexes.
I don't know if this is true, but I have notice that it is harder now for me to talk to women in public. If it was harder in the 90's(albeit, I was in a kid in the 90's), it is harder now.
Last edited by green_mariner; 03-13-2010 at 12:49 AM..
Reason: Needed to highlight a statement.
I don't know if this is true, but I have notice that it is harder now for me to talk to women in public. If it was harder in the 90's(albeit, I was in a kid in the 90's), it is harder now.
Dating in the 90's (when I was in middle school/high school) was simple. Boy meets girl, boy and girl start talking, boy and girl find out they have a lot in common and get along well, boy and girl start dating. Maybe its just me, but it seems things have gotten MUCH MUCH more complicated during the last decade. I can't explain it...but it's more along the lines of: GIRL persues BOY, girl and boy have very little in common and have completely polar opposite personalities, but girl is somehow enthralled by this and they begin dating.
This is just my personal experince in the dating world, but it seems the more things you have in common with someone these days (interests, personality-wise, etc...) the less likey they are to be intersted in you. Thus, I believe a lot of guys are initimidated at the thought of talking to/persuing women (for example: how do you break the ice with someone you have absolutely nothing in common with??).
It seems as if a lot of women these days want a novelty, something new and exciting....which, once that novelty wears off you are basically stuck with someone completely different than you for whom you cant stand.
Dating in the 90's (when I was in middle school/high school) was simple. Boy meets girl, boy and girl start talking, boy and girl find out they have a lot in common and get along well, boy and girl start dating. Maybe its just me, but it seems things have gotten MUCH MUCH more complicated during the last decade. I can't explain it...but it's more along the lines of: GIRL persues BOY, girl and boy have very little in common and have completely polar opposite personalities, but girl is somehow enthralled by this and they begin dating.
This is just my personal experince in the dating world, but it seems the more things you have in common with someone these days (interests, personality-wise, etc...) the less likey they are to be intersted in you. Thus, I believe a lot of guys are initimidated at the thought of talking to/persuing women (for example: how do you break the ice with someone you have absolutely nothing in common with??).
It seems as if a lot of women these days want a novelty, something new and exciting....which, once that novelty wears off you are basically stuck with someone completely different than you for whom you cant stand.
My own experience has been this: I have very little in common with the person, and for that reason, I don't bother. And women aren't exactly seeking me for companionship. Usually, when I find I have alot in common with a women(which is rare), I still never manage to date her. I actually did come close to dating a girl. It never worked out because I she thought I was "too clingy". I never really told her I wanted to go out with her either, fearing a big rejection. Well, she solved that for me.
I can be kind of shy and sometimes introverted. I went to a party tonight(my friend is a club promoter,although I rarely go to clubs) and the only persons I had a conversation with were people I knew. Everyone had their own cliques. I say clubs are among the worst places to meet women. This is my experience: Alpha males all over the place and you don't know who is dating which woman. If you aren't an alpha male, forget it. Many women come either with their boyfriends, or if they are single, with their female friends. I am not the type of person who is going to go up to some woman and start dancing with her. I am afraid of that. My style, well ,it really isn't a style, it's more my personality. I start out quiet, and build from there, letting the rest of my being speak for itself.
"A man pursues a woman till she catches him."-- I don't know who said that. :-)
I believe every situation is different (of course). Some people just don't want to be married and stay in "friendship", that's good too? I must have missed something here why the arguing and swearing?
I don't know if this is true, but I have notice that it is harder now for me to talk to women in public. If it was harder in the 90's(albeit, I was in a kid in the 90's), it is harder now.
Hi pirate_lafitte,
I just walked a hot single 30 year old to the train station. It was a very pleasant conversation. I find things I like easy and enjoyable. Near the end, I had to subtly let on I am unavailable. You can let on something else. Say anything and be friendly. If someone in WII could land on a beach and get mowed down by an MG 42, you can talk to a girl.
I just walked a hot single 30 year old to the train station. It was a very pleasant conversation. I find things I like easy and enjoyable. Near the end, I had to subtly let on I am unavailable. You can let on something else. Say anything and be friendly. If someone in WII could land on a beach and get mowed down by an MG 42, you can talk to a girl.
Yeah...talking to "hot" women is not as hard as many men think. I cannot lie, when I was young, I thought it was hard; then my father broke down to me that these women, no matter what they look like, are no better than you. My guess is, a lot of these dudes did not have anyone to break it down to them like that!!
My own experience has been this: I have very little in common with the person, and for that reason, I don't bother. And women aren't exactly seeking me for companionship. Usually, when I find I have alot in common with a women(which is rare), I still never manage to date her. I actually did come close to dating a girl. It never worked out because I she thought I was "too clingy". I never really told her I wanted to go out with her either, fearing a big rejection. Well, she solved that for me.
I can be kind of shy and sometimes introverted. I went to a party tonight(my friend is a club promoter,although I rarely go to clubs) and the only persons I had a conversation with were people I knew. Everyone had their own cliques. I say clubs are among the worst places to meet women. This is my experience: Alpha males all over the place and you don't know who is dating which woman. If you aren't an alpha male, forget it. Many women come either with their boyfriends, or if they are single, with their female friends. I am not the type of person who is going to go up to some woman and start dancing with her. I am afraid of that. My style, well ,it really isn't a style, it's more my personality. I start out quiet, and build from there, letting the rest of my being speak for itself.
Glad you realize that clubs are not a great place to find a woman, most of my experiences in clubs involved me running away from drunk women. I find places like lounges, book stores, and going to events on things that you have interest in, to be much more efficient. Also, glad have you know that having "game" is overrated, I prefer conversation and being yourself. Now, are you going to face rejection along the way? Of course you will, but rejection is part of life, no matter what aspect we are talking about. Go talk to successful business owners and big-time investors, and they will tell you how many times they failed at many endeavors!!
Glad you realize that clubs are not a great place to find a woman, most of my experiences in clubs involved me running away from drunk women. I find places like lounges, book stores, and going to events on things that you have interest in, to be much more efficient. Also, glad have you know that having "game" is overrated, I prefer conversation and being yourself. Now, are you going to face rejection along the way? Of course you will, but rejection is part of life, no matter what aspect we are talking about. Go talk to successful business owners and big-time investors, and they will tell you how many times they failed at many endeavors!!
Hi brooklynight,
I am kind of mixed on the game theory. Its simply a reaction to research in evolutionary psychology which I believe t be valid. Yet there are many important aspects to what it does.
Be yourself? Some people do have the wrong instincts.
What I like about some aspects of game theory is:
1. It requires an attempt. If a man is trying to use "game" he is trying. Try and fail beats not having any plan and doing nothing. It will also begin to reduce the fear.
2. It is all about maintaining a status . Women do not like social slippage. Recognizing this female part of the psyche is important. Being a needy slave or a failure is not arousing at all. Don't show a woman how much you need her to complete your broken shell of a self. He can be a reassuring presence.
3. It prevents the overemphasis men put on looks alone. Yes it matters, but gays look more spiffed up for a reason. They are also trying to please men. A little more personality is required.
4. It is anti-aggressive. Aggressive outbursts is viewed as showing weakness and loss of control.
5. Its seductive. It recognizes women do like to be seduced or charmed. It views this as necessary for the length of the relationship, even LTRs. It is trying to essentially give women what they really want. Working out all day at the gym is a male projection. The same goes for excessive materialism which many women say they don't want. They like interesting men where something is happening.
There is certainly a down side especially used for hook ups. Easily attracting and dumping women will give one a sense they are disposable. You are essentially gaining influence and that can be for good or ill. However some of what men think they know is wrong and needs to be unlearned.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
