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Old 03-01-2010, 11:46 AM
 
73,032 posts, read 62,634,962 times
Reputation: 21935

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Quote:
Originally Posted by wanneroo View Post
Why explain? It is what it is. People that think 23 year old students should have flash cars and bachelor pads are deluded people that have been watching too much TV and movies.
To me, it is what it is. I don't have a car. I don't have my own bachelor pad. I share an apartment with three other people. I don't worry about having a car most of the time. I have a bike to get around. Sometimes I walk. Sometimes I might get a ride from someone. I don't worry about that too much. It is when I think about the idea of having a girlfriend that I have to do that. The way I see it, if the only reason I am seeking out getting a car or a job is so that a woman would go out with me, it isn't worth getting a job or a car.

 
Old 03-01-2010, 11:50 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
6,777 posts, read 13,556,049 times
Reputation: 6585
Quote:
Originally Posted by pirate_lafitte View Post
To me, it is what it is. I don't have a car. I don't have my own bachelor pad. I share an apartment with three other people. I don't worry about having a car most of the time. I have a bike to get around. Sometimes I walk. Sometimes I might get a ride from someone. I don't worry about that too much. It is when I think about the idea of having a girlfriend that I have to do that. The way I see it, if the only reason I am seeking out getting a car or a job is so that a woman would go out with me, it isn't worth getting a job or a car.
My BF in college didn't have a car and I did, I think he had one at home (several states away), but couldn't get a parking permit because it was too late? I drove places or we walked, actually he usually drove my car. LOL

Anyways, not a huge deal in college, IMO.
 
Old 03-01-2010, 11:51 AM
 
20,728 posts, read 19,371,367 times
Reputation: 8288
Quote:
Originally Posted by NotARedneck View Post
The above is silly.

What you don't seem to understand is there are those who get rejected rarely and those who get it a lot. This is the real issue. For someone who it happens to rarely, they have all the successes to think about and can take the attitude "its their loss" when they rarely don't succeed.
Hi NotARedneck,

I was rejected by my invites to the dance floor 10 times one evening. That was not when I had much prior success. I just remember enjoying it in particular because I often seek resistance. I enjoyed it since I would go back to an out of town guy I met to tell him how it went and what their excuses were.

Even in high school I remember I was the only one to ask for the numbers of some girls we met where I was ruthlessly mocked by friends afterward. The the girls specifically asked for one of the other guys, save one girl who did not care who called her. I did not have charm or a smooth delivery and had no idea what I was doing, but I was the one who did it. I was the main execrable object of both sexes. They laughed at the impaled and trampled matador.

My only problem later was success, especially a rich deposit of au paires who spoiled my taste for domestics.

Quote:
For someone who gets rejected a lot, they don't have positive reinforcements to boolster their confidence. Besides, when they aren't getting rejected, its by those who they have little interest in anyway.
I am well aware of operant conditioning and because of this, I inured myself to its fallout.

Quote:
This is the issue for most of those men over 40, who could still be available. The fact is, they would likely not be available, if they faced a low rejection rate in their younger years. Now, they see even less reason to put them self through more of the same.
I agree and everyone is happy about it including women who have no interest in men that shrivel before them like an Arizona road kill. My only possible reaction the prospect of resignation is my defiance in perpetuity.

Get over the fear of rejection or find a hobby. Women are supposed to reject men, its their hobby.
 
Old 03-01-2010, 12:00 PM
 
9,846 posts, read 22,682,121 times
Reputation: 7738
Quote:
Originally Posted by pirate_lafitte View Post
To me, it is what it is. I don't have a car. I don't have my own bachelor pad. I share an apartment with three other people. I don't worry about having a car most of the time. I have a bike to get around. Sometimes I walk. Sometimes I might get a ride from someone. I don't worry about that too much. It is when I think about the idea of having a girlfriend that I have to do that. The way I see it, if the only reason I am seeking out getting a car or a job is so that a woman would go out with me, it isn't worth getting a job or a car.
Sometimes we have to prioritize in life and sometimes that does involve devoting time and resources to pursuing women. If they come along, fine, if they don't fine in those time periods.

That is one of the catch 22's of being in your 20's. It's the time of life technically when you are at your fittest and have the least responsibilities to care for, yet it's also the time when you have the least resources to go out and do all this cool stuff.

But I think make do the best you can and it is probably going to be harder to date outside your circle due to not having a car, but as you say it is what it is. Make the most of getting your education while you are doing it.

And no there is nothing wrong with a little cougar lovin. Cougars would probably be more willing to overlook your situation than someone your own age.
 
Old 03-01-2010, 12:10 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
6,777 posts, read 13,556,049 times
Reputation: 6585
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanneroo View Post

And no there is nothing wrong with a little cougar lovin. Cougars would probably be more willing to overlook your situation than someone your own age.
Yeah, but he classifies a cougar as someone who is 23-30 and he is 23 himself. Sorry, that's not a cougar. . That's someone your age or a little older.
 
Old 03-01-2010, 12:22 PM
 
951 posts, read 1,811,666 times
Reputation: 659
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanneroo View Post
Why explain? It is what it is. People that think 23 year old students should have flash cars and bachelor pads are deluded people that have been watching too much TV and movies.
In my late 20s and early 30s, the economy was the pits. I shared an apartment with an engineering grad, a bright guy who painted and drove cab to make a living. Even the army didn't want him!

One time he was 3 months behind on his rent but he eventually caught up. I took home a little over a $1000 a month and needed a car for my job - an ancient beater that had numerous large dents on it.

Once a married woman we knew called me cheap. The single ones wouldn't let me approach. He was better looking and eventually had his divorce experience

We are both doing well now. He lives in a luxury apartment, has owned a company and makes 6 figures in his field. I own my own house and make a good coin. Recently, I was visiting and we had (quite) a few beers. He called me a fool for my recent foray into the dating wars.

When women ask in a withering way when I am finally going to settle down, I am polite but think, "they had their chance".

On the job front, I pity the guys starting out today but at least, they can now find a woman to support them, if they are good looking.
 
Old 03-01-2010, 12:28 PM
 
73,032 posts, read 62,634,962 times
Reputation: 21935
Quote:
Originally Posted by sophialee View Post
Yeah, but he classifies a cougar as someone who is 23-30 and he is 23 himself. Sorry, that's not a cougar. . That's someone your age or a little older.
Correction. I am open to anyone 23-30 and possibly older. Cougar is probably 30 and older.
 
Old 03-01-2010, 12:46 PM
 
73,032 posts, read 62,634,962 times
Reputation: 21935
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyShouldIWorry View Post
In my late 20s and early 30s, the economy was the pits. I shared an apartment with an engineering grad, a bright guy who painted and drove cab to make a living. Even the army didn't want him!

One time he was 3 months behind on his rent but he eventually caught up. I took home a little over a $1000 a month and needed a car for my job - an ancient beater that had numerous large dents on it.

Once a married woman we knew called me cheap. The single ones wouldn't let me approach. He was better looking and eventually had his divorce experience

We are both doing well now. He lives in a luxury apartment, has owned a company and makes 6 figures in his field. I own my own house and make a good coin. Recently, I was visiting and we had (quite) a few beers. He called me a fool for my recent foray into the dating wars.

When women ask in a withering way when I am finally going to settle down, I am polite but think, "they had their chance".

On the job front, I pity the guys starting out today but at least, they can now find a woman to support them, if they are good looking.
Sounds like an interesting experience. I think "good looking" is in the eyes of whoever is setting such a standard. If tall, chiseled face, and wavy hair is considered good looking, then perhaps that is true. I basically don't fit the standard of what is considered "good looking" by pop culture standards. So what? I think I am good looking, in some ways. Some people have learned to get by on their looks. I can't do that. I have to use my brain.
 
Old 03-01-2010, 02:20 PM
 
1,605 posts, read 3,918,564 times
Reputation: 1595
Quote:
Originally Posted by pirate_lafitte View Post
Sounds like an interesting experience. I think "good looking" is in the eyes of whoever is setting such a standard. If tall, chiseled face, and wavy hair is considered good looking, then perhaps that is true. I basically don't fit the standard of what is considered "good looking" by pop culture standards. So what? I think I am good looking, in some ways. Some people have learned to get by on their looks. I can't do that. I have to use my brain.
Don't feel too bad about not being good looking according to "pop culture" standards. Especially when today's pop culture requires someone to look like this



or like this



then do you really want to deal with lemmings who revolve their lives, tastes, and preferences over what's cool in "pop culture."
 
Old 03-01-2010, 02:55 PM
 
9,846 posts, read 22,682,121 times
Reputation: 7738
Quote:
Originally Posted by sophialee View Post
Yeah, but he classifies a cougar as someone who is 23-30 and he is 23 himself. Sorry, that's not a cougar. . That's someone your age or a little older.
Oh I know what a cougar is. I used to live in Cougartown, USA(Vail, CO).

What I am saying is aim for up to 40.
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