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Well exactly that defense isn't up on females in plenty of other places. I think you are exaggerating honestly. I've been to places where there were both canadian and American women. And American women shoot from the hip way more than canadian women. You know if they like you off the bat by flirting with you etc. Pardon me if a lot of us aren't in the mood to figure you out. If you show no why would we proceed? No means no. Maybe your worth the persistance. Or maybe you are what you really show. Difficult. It's funny becuase you are now singing a different tune than prior to this thread. Before it was defending why women in this city act defensive and to themselves. Now all of a sudden they are like Samantha from sex in the city who sleeps with whoever they want becuase they are experts at seduction . Look I don't think it goes both ways if your habits are to be insecure and defensive I highly doubt you are any good at seduction. Fo you friends im sure the guy pursued them and they just happened ro fit their criteria. Most guys will move on after you tell them/ show no interest. I know not every woman is like this here but it sure feels like the majority are. Thsee why it'd so refreshing going to other places where they don't appear so stone cold all the time. Maybe you are the nicest person. But how am I ever going to know if you always show no? Or too shy to show ho nice you are?
That is the reality. People ... men and women change and evolve. There is only a certain level of consistency in many cases. There are also circumstantial factors. We have many options for how we can and will behave. Some times you feel like being chased or feel like being fun, seductive and flirty. It all depends. I think men and women just need to accept a lot of this stuff is right time right place. You either make a connection at that moment or you don't. That is the excitement of it! There are many types of women everywhere you go. It is always going to be hit or miss for the most part. The same women I am thinking about can be outright mean if they are in a bad mood and on the other hand very forward when they feel like it. It just depends on their mood.
That is the reality. People ... men and women change and evolve. There is only a certain level of consistency in many cases. There are also circumstantial factors. We have many options for how we can and will behave. Some times you feel like being chased or feel like being fun, seductive and flirty. It all depends. I think men and women just need to accept a lot of this stuff is right time right place. You either make a connection at that moment or you don't. That is the excitement of it! There are many types of women everywhere you go. It is always going to be hit or miss for the most part. The same women I am thinking about can be outright mean if they are in a bad mood and on the other hand very forward when they feel like it. It just depends on their mood.
I felt like if you want women to be flirty with you you have to be in a social setting like a club or work or school. Then it's easy to get to know them or they show their cards. Just out and about I know the b1 tch face / I don't look at anyone/ I'm too busy on my phone all the time is pretty much how all women are here. I think that's the problem a lot of people who aren't from here have. They don't know the proper outlets to pick up women. I mean if you want to get her in public you literally have to flag her down. Which is completely desperate and loser like so I can see why many don't do it. I know I figured it out here but I can see why people from other places have issues. They simply have it easier where they are from because it's in their nature to flirt with pretty much everyone.
This might be off topic, but I am going to ask anyways... how many of you that you grew up with in Toronto or the GTA actually regularly run in to people you went to high school or post secondary school with in the city? I got to say I don't know if I am not observant, but I hardly run to anyone. I would say at best once or twice a year and I am all over the city. Mind you I don't live anywhere near where I use to. It makes me wonder where the hell everyone went? For single people in the city over the age of 30 do you find that it is harder to meet people around your own age when you go out? I am personally wondering where everyone my age is? When I go out I usually see people a lot younger or a lot older? (Then again it can be tricky to tell how old people are in general). I have been to some concerts that are supposed to be 19 and over and I some of people looked really young ex junior high).
I'm not above agreeing with what I feel is correct just becuase I don't like the poster. I'm not spineless.
and the shoe..... dropped lol.. Its cool.. I don't need to be loved by anyone in here. If they agree they agree if not I can't do anything to change it.
This might be off topic, but I am going to ask anyways... how many of you that you grew up with in Toronto or the GTA actually regularly run in to people you went to high school or post secondary school with in the city? I got to say I don't know if I am not observant, but I hardly run to anyone. I would say at best once or twice a year and I am all over the city. Mind you I don't live anywhere near where I use to. It makes me wonder where the hell everyone went? For single people in the city over the age of 30 do you find that it is harder to meet people around your own age when you go out? I am personally wondering where everyone my age is? When I go out I usually see people a lot younger or a lot older? (Then again it can be tricky to tell how old people are in general). I have been to some concerts that are supposed to be 19 and over and I some of people looked really young ex junior high).
Well its a big city KLM - the chances of bumping into someone you know or knew randomly is stacked against you unless you both live in the same hood or frequent the same places often. It has happened from time to time but not often.
People do fan out though. Many of my friends have married and moved to different places in the city and even outside it. I actually don't keep in touch with the vast majority of my childhood friends other than the occasional social media message. Most of my friendship circle is relatively new and this is ok. We grow, evolve and change as we get older so the people I consider good friends now I click more with than the one's I grew up with when I was really a different person.
Well its a big city KLM - the chances of bumping into someone you know or knew randomly is stacked against you unless you both live in the same hood or frequent the same places often. It has happened from time to time but not often.
People do fan out though. Many of my friends have married and moved to different places in the city and even outside it. I actually don't keep in touch with the vast majority of my childhood friends other than the occasional social media message. Most of my friendship circle is relatively new and this is ok. We grow, evolve and change as we get older so the people I consider good friends now I click more with than the one's I grew up with when I was really a different person.
I guess my brain might me wired differently. If I care about someone, lover or freind I won't forget them. That does not mean I won't let other people in to my head and heart, but once you are in I will have great trouble pushing you out even if it is in my best interest. People that can easily forgot and discard people they once claimed to have cared about hugely confuse me as my mentality is very different. I am. It saying one way of thinking is better, but it just really different
I guess my brain might me wired differently. If I care about someone, lover or freind I won't forget them. That does not mean I won't let other people in to my head and heart, but once you are in I will have great trouble pushing you out even if it is in my best interest. People that can easily forgot and discard people they once claimed to have cared about hugely confuse me as my mentality is very different. I am. It saying one way of thinking is better, but it just really different
I'm not saying that I would discard a friend from the past - just that we kind of grew apart over the years due to distance and just life happening. Looking back to when I was a kid or a teenager or even early twenties - I am so much more of a different person now so I gravitate more to people who have who are on a similar wavelength and with who I share similar passions. Those people aren't necessarily going to simply default to legacy friends just because of heritage. That isn't to say that a childhood friend wouldn't be that person with whom I share passions or interests with, just that for me anyway, its difficult to say that my childhood friends stayed with me and in many cases we grew apart. Its more College friends and friends I've met in my mid twenties up until forty. These are meaningful to me because we truly clicked and not just friends for life just because we knew one another playing GI Joe together. It also leaves things flexible for me because its easy for me to find rewarding new friendships.
I think the problem is that people confuse friendliness with politeness. NYC people are rude, a bit obnoxious but overall friendly. They will hang out with you and talk to you, even if it's only to ***** about something. People in Toronto, while super polite on the surface, won't want to have anything to do with you.
That's my personal observation.
You are absolutely right, Europeananna! Lived here my whole life and I can't stand the loneliness. I will tell you right now why men are not hitting on you, and NOLA hit the nail on the head: Toronto guys are so used to being rejected by the women of Toronto that they get demoralized and look for oartners within their own social circles. Meeting someone in a bar or public place who actually wants to be your friend or go on a date with you? Never happened to me in 36 years of living here. Lots of nice chit-chat. Women are frosty, especially if they are pretty. I just avoid them now. I am a young, educated, tall, decent looking and have been single for six years, without a single date. I'm thinking of becoming a monk. I have the chastity thing down, lol. Toronto is a great place for single men to lead a quiet life of contemplation and celebacy. Sorry for the sarcasm. I am bitter, in case you didn't notice, although it is somehow comforting to know that attractive women are frustrated with this desert too. It would be nice to meet a smart attractive woman who didn't immediately become standoffish the moment you open your mouth. Never mind attempting a kiss! I would settle for a fist bump these days. Christ.
Last edited by TOkidd; 06-18-2016 at 07:27 AM..
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