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Single women do yourselves a favor and don't move here unless you are a size 2, look like a model, and are a genius who is funny and charming. Basically you need to be perfect to find anyone here. Men have their pick, especially if they are employed. Men in their 40s can easily find a woman in her 20s. Yes, posters will tell you they date but what does that mean. One or 2 dates, they get intimate and the guy doesn't call and then onto the next one!
Interesting, I think you're exaggerating a bit here. I wouldn't even consider dating some woman in her twenties (I'm 49). I don't normally hang around women that age, but when I go to shows at the 9:30 or Black Cat they are a huge demographic and I have a conversation with some of them it's like they are from a different planet. I will say that dating has been much easier here than any other place I've lived, but I much prefer women closer to my age. My G/F for instance is 46.
She's not being realistic when it comes to this whole situation. Not taking account other working dynamics that is hurting woman's choices and decisions on finding mates. It's not just the ratio, or the quality of men that are available; other variables are at play.
I think the #1 "other dynamic" hurting women's choices is their own unrealistic expectations. From what I see.. (and not just in DC) men usually look for the positives of a woman.. while women look for the negatives of a man.
In other words.. men try to find reasons to accept a woman, while women try to find reasons to reject a man.
I agree, but I don't think it's the #1 dynamic. I'm presuming, that most professional women want men of substances and worth in society. The need to be that protector, economic provider and so forth and that is fine. But, there other factors involved that people are afraid of exploring that might contribute to this disproportionate imbalance in the dating and marriage sphere.
I honestly believe that social engineering is a real thing and has been working to ensure certain outcomes for specific populations for social and economic control.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chriz Brown
I think the #1 "other dynamic" hurting women's choices is their own unrealistic expectations. From what I see.. (and not just in DC) men usually look for the positives of a woman.. while women look for the negatives of a man.
In other words.. men try to find reasons to accept a woman, while women try to find reasons to reject a man.
Why can't we agree that people who complain or have a hard time dating in this town are simply not cut from the same cloth that thrive here?
Why can't we come to the conclusion that DC is a unique city and that if you can't adjust those that make up the city's texture, then DC is simply not for you?
What has been bothering me lately, especially having just realized this, is the inability for people to come to- no matter where you live. It's like you enter into a clothing store. You realize that it's a preppy store and doesn't suit your style but rather suits the texture of the area. But yet, you keep complaining that they don't have your style assuming that next season they will cater to you. It just will not happen... Perhaps a few lines but not enough to satisfy your taste.
However, I must keep in mind that some people are not socially sensitive. You can give someone a bunch of stats and they will tell you everything related to those stats. But if you ask them about the people, they simply have no clue.
I agree, but I don't think it's the #1 dynamic. I'm presuming, that most professional women want men of substances and worth in society. The need to be that protector, economic provider and so forth and that is fine. But, there other factors involved that people are afraid of exploring that might contribute to this disproportionate imbalance in the dating and marriage sphere.
I honestly believe that social engineering is a real thing and has been working to ensure certain outcomes for specific populations for social and economic control.
A lot of this is true.
The fact of the matter is even though we live in an age of "equality" most women still expect men to strictly follow gender roles... even though most women have completely abandoned gender roles for themselves.
And so.. women can take on whatever identity they want and everyone should "accept it" as who they are. However, when men do the same.. they are criticized for not measuring up or for not playing their role. What women today need to understand is that men don't owe them anything.
The fact of the matter is even though we live in an age of "equality" most women still expect men to strictly follow gender roles... even though most women have completely abandoned gender roles for themselves.
Now this is prolly one of the most interesting things I have read on this forum. You can't even get this deep on the relationship forums...
It seems straight fwd at first glance but then you wonder, if women have abandoned their roles but expect the role of a man, what is their overall perception of the relationship. How do they run it in their heads..
Now this is prolly one of the most interesting things I have read on this forum. You can't even get this deep on the relationship forums...
It seems straight fwd at first glance but then you wonder, if women have abandoned their roles but expect the role of a man, what is their overall perception of the relationship. How do they run it in their heads..
Pretty deep there Chriz...
A lot of women today want to dictate the terms of romantic relationships based on her own preferences. And she believes "the right man" will walk in lockstep with everything she desires. However, there is no thought given to what she as a woman offers to the man. In her mind, "the right man" will accept her and love her without her having to do any work.
I've actually done this experiment on dating forums where I ask women why a man should pick them over another woman. Most cannot come up with anything. Yet they are quick to dictate their long list of qualities a man should have. I was also accused of "hating women" because I broke that rule: While its acceptable for a woman to ask a man what he brings to the table.. it is misogynistic to ever ask a woman what she brings to the table lol.
So when a man sleeps with them a few times and stops calling.. he is called a jerk, pig or player. But she never considered the possibility that she just didn't measure up to what that man wanted from her. But in her mind she doesn't have to measure up to any standard... only the man has to measure up to her standard. And while its fun to think this way.. in the real world everyone is being judged. And just because men are increasingly afraid to verbalize their judgments of women.. those judgments don't necessarily go away.
Last edited by Chriz Brown; 11-01-2015 at 05:08 PM..
No seriously Im just kidding I agree that younger women today are more modern and liberal and less conservative and traditional.
They want careers and power instead of children and family. Young women today would have a hard time baking cookies, cooking a nice dinner, they are not into any of that.
The fact of the matter is even though we live in an age of "equality" most women still expect men to strictly follow gender roles... even though most women have completely abandoned gender roles for themselves.
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As a single late 30s professional woman, I disagree with this whole heartedly, but do agree that more women today have outgrown the 50s housewife gender role previously assigned to them.
Please remember that there has always been a portion of women who were driven to be more than a homemaker. I think that percentage has merely increased in the last couple decades so that there are more professional women than there are homemakers. I also think the severe increase in cost of living drove some of them to become professionals as being a homemaker wouldn't get the bills paid (just saying).
I personally subscribe to evolved gender roles. I am a strong, professional, educated woman. The two most important traits for me in a man are respectability and security. He can be a bus driver for all I care so long as he treats it as a career and isn't changing jobs every 6 months. At the end of the day though, I do expect the man to be the head of the household, regardless of whose job pays the bills.
The notion of equality in a relationship just means that the woman's opinion has equal weight in decisions. I'm sure we all know relationships, perhaps in older generations, where the man makes decisions absent of the woman's input because "he's the man." Being treated like an inferior being is the part of inequality I take issue with. Respect my mind and opinions in the same way I respect yours.
Jasperjade, maybe they were just being friendly. It doesn't sound like they were remotely interested. Did they ask you out? They probably are married, have girlfriends or are gay. I am not sure what you were "disengaging."
Nope, not at all. And like I said, I disengaged before it got to that point.
Can you not tell when someone is interested in you? Maybe that's why you're having problems.
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