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Yeah, not sure if I would feel I am with the right person if she demanded or expected an expensive shiny ring. I would not do it either. Would you get married if you only got a band or no ring at all?
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I actually have no desire to marry again. But if for some reason I changed my mind (say I fell and hit my head,)...I already wear a beautiful diamond band on my left ring finger, that I bought myself years ago. I would continue to wear that, so no I would not be concerned about a ring.
And engagement ring is supposed to be a gift of love. If the both of you are happier expressing your love in other ways - then that's what you should do. But if you are resentful about buying a ring or are using it as some sort of test - then you probably aren't with the right person.
And engagement ring is supposed to be a gift of love. If the both of you are happier expressing your love in other ways - then that's what you should do. But if you are resentful about buying a ring or are using it as some sort of test - then you probably aren't with the right person.
However, you two have been married a while and "survived" the whole raising a child time in your lives. You two were also financially aware enough that children cost a lot of money and thus made good practical choices in life. You've probably also settled down a bit.. probably bought a home. Hopefully with all of this time, you are also more financially secure. In other words, you prioritized....
Yeh.. I wouldn't see buying a fun car at this time in your lives as a problem. Buying a fun car at the beginning of your marriage, I still think it would be a naive decision... no different from buying an expensive ring.
You also don't expect your husband to buy you a Camaro a contingency on marriage.... a bit different from expecting an engagement ring for a marriage to happen.
PS> I just bought a car for my wife... a Minivan. Ugh. Having 3 young kids myself... I say you deserve a fun car!
That's all true, except we didn't always make the best financial decisions, I'm afraid. Maybe my scenario is more along the lines of "upgrading" her ring. I wholeheartedly agree that having unrealistic expectations, spending outside one's budget, or accepting a marriage proposal based on ring size are all terrible. I won't go so far as to say expecting any kind of ring is unrealistic or unreasonable, despite my not having one, because they are a very normal part of our culture. I do think it's pretty ludicrous how spendiness is foisted on us through commercials and advertising, like the $600+ earrings I saw marketed as "stocking stuffers" thid Christmas.
And engagement ring is supposed to be a gift of love.
I've been curious...in the spirt of gift giving during this joyous time for a future union, what does the man get from the woman in return to show her love for him?
I've been curious...in the spirt of gift giving during this joyous time for a future union, what does the man get from the woman in return to show her love for him?
Everyone is different. Some want expensive rings while others don't and for a variety of reasons. Some view it as a status symbol while others view it as a symbol of love and affection.
Years ago I used to be the only male working in a corporate office with roughly 8 women. And each of those 8 women knew 8 other women working within the same company who's husbands were executives. All year long, I'd hear them gossiping about the drama going on with all these other women they knew in the company. And it never failed, birthday's, Valentine's Day, Christmas, and anniversaries women would come into the office to show off the diamonds, gold, etc. etc. what their executive husband or boyfriend gave them. The very interesting thing I learned from this experience of hearing all the daily gossip throughout the year and seeing who got what type of jewelry "treasures", the women who got the most expensive diamonds, gold, etc. etc. were the women who's husbands were either wrapped up with cheating on them or having a hard time keeping from cheating on them. In that situation it was like the diamonds, gold, etc. etc. were used as a marriage/relationship negotiation/bargaining tool of sorts, or a justification as to why the woman hasn't left the guy for cheating on her, because he gives her expensive jewelry. That's just one example. Some women view it as a tool to gauge one's success.
The bottom line for me is I don't mind spending a ton of dough on a rock if that's what she really wants, just as long as she wants it for the right reason(s). But that's just me as I tend to provide extraordinary high amounts of efforts making my woman happy simply because she truly appreciates everything that I do for her.
I've been curious...in the spirt of gift giving during this joyous time for a future union, what does the man get from the woman in return to show her love for him?
*crickets*
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)...I already wear a beautiful diamond band on my left ring finger, that I bought myself years ago. I would continue to wear that, so no I would not be concerned about a ring.
Maybe my scenario is more along the lines of "upgrading" her ring. I wholeheartedly agree that having unrealistic expectations, spending outside one's budget, or accepting a marriage proposal based on ring size are all terrible. I won't go so far as to say expecting any kind of ring is unrealistic or unreasonable, despite my not having one, because they are a very normal part of our culture. I do think it's pretty ludicrous how spendiness is foisted on us through commercials and advertising, like the $600+ earrings I saw marketed as "stocking stuffers" thid Christmas.
