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Old 12-28-2015, 09:59 AM
 
7,357 posts, read 4,200,598 times
Reputation: 5029

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Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppySead View Post
They made it law in China recently because of all the elderly lining the streets. At some point we have to decide what we are going to do with the boomer gen. That's a lot of elderly who can't care for themselves.
The government is looking to save money, not spend it and digging up that law is one of their new ideas. I think we all wish it weren't.
The boomers that are destitute are so, at their own stupidity. They had so many options that are no longer available to younger generations.

Due to the demise of pensions, the increased popularity of the useless 401k and lack of salary increases, I will never have what my parents were able to amass.
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Old 12-28-2015, 10:33 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,694 posts, read 6,985,945 times
Reputation: 14067
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forum_Newbie View Post
Interesting discussion....I haven't read all the posts, but I can identify with the hostile comments.

My mom left my dad in CA and took me to FL to live with her parents when I was 4. I have some memories of my dad and brothers in CA, but interestingly, I have no memories of my mom. Nor do I have any memories of her until I was around 11. I went to all summer long camps starting around 8 and only remember the nurse who took care of my grandmother. Went away to boarding school too and so to say I've had some abandonment issues is an understatement. (Lots and lots of therapy!)

Fast forward to getting married and having to move my mother in with us as she had no money, no place to go. It cost me my marriage.

Now, a few years later, guess who is living me - that's right, my mother. My brother won't take her and so has no one else. She was living alone, but it was no longer safe for her. So here she is, with a god awful recliner in the middle of my beautiful condo. And you know what....

It's not so bad. I've done a lot of therapy over the years and can honestly say, I'm happy she is here. She is still able to walk and take care of her basic needs and as I am newly divorced and had never lived alone, it's nice to have the company. Any situation IMHO is what you make of it. I've learned a lot about how she was raised and it was no picnic. So again, it is what it is and I'm CHOOSING to take positive spin on the situation.
Wow, if that isn't taking life's lemons and making lemonade out of them, I don't know what is. Many kudoes to you.
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Old 12-28-2015, 01:39 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,494 posts, read 35,964,225 times
Reputation: 62903
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
The boomers that are destitute are so, at their own stupidity. They had so many options that are no longer available to younger generations.

Due to the demise of pensions, the increased popularity of the useless 401k and lack of salary increases, I will never have what my parents were able to amass.
Hey, many Boomers never had any sort of pension plan either (me included). All my husband and I have ever had was a "useless 401K." He's 57 and i'm 53 - both Boomers.
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Old 12-28-2015, 03:40 PM
 
2,288 posts, read 2,611,102 times
Reputation: 7018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marc Paolella View Post
I can't just assume that women end up doing more of this because men are too lazy. There has to be something more. Something in nature. Something having to do with maternity. And I don't think it has to do with the Italian thing. My family is 1/2 Italian and 1/2 German and really not culturally close to either one. I think of myself only as an American. So it's not the culture.

In any case, you don't plan to wipe any butts and neither do I. Especially since the 2 butts I would probably be begging my sisters to wipe belong to two people who died decades ago. I wish they were still here for the butt debate, but as I watch all my friends begin to bury their parents, I am quite relieved in my 50s that I don't have to go through this as I get older.



Did you just say you're Glad your parents died young, so you wouldn't have to worry about elder care Duty?
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Old 12-28-2015, 03:45 PM
 
3,455 posts, read 2,305,883 times
Reputation: 6992
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marc Paolella View Post
It's not a ridiculous comment, it's an observed reality. In most families, the females handle the close physical care of dying. And when there are no daughters, people often get hired.

VERY FEW MALES wipe their mom's or dad's behind when they are 90 and in hospice and the plumbing no longer works.

I did not say guys can't do it, or never do it. I said they usually don't do it. The females in most families end up picking up this end of things. I have seen it a thousand times.

By the way, all people on this forum should come out of hiding and post under their real names. What are y'all afraid of? I don't really give a damn if my opinions lose me business. And by the way, my "radical" opinions, which are really common sense, have gotten me many clients from this forum. Believe it or not, some people actually want a rational and tough agent! Even in the "feelings based" PC BS society we have degraded ourselves into becoming.
Glad you don't care if your opinions lose you business. Every time I read one of your posts, I think to myself, "No way would I want this person to be my realtor". And yeah, I'm from your territory. Using terms like "feminazi" and blathering about every insulting, sexist thing that comes to your mind is just bad business practice. You don't know which potential client you might alienate. But, like you said, you don't want the business of people like me.
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Old 12-28-2015, 04:41 PM
 
2,142 posts, read 823,494 times
Reputation: 2937
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
The boomers that are destitute are so, at their own stupidity. They had so many options that are no longer available to younger generations.

Due to the demise of pensions, the increased popularity of the useless 401k and lack of salary increases, I will never have what my parents were able to amass.
I agree - you'll never have what your parents were able to amass - as least not with that whiny, defeatist attitude. I work with plenty of Millennials who are on track to be at least as well off as their parents when they retire. You just need to make the right decisions based on reality (not some "do what you love crap" some aging hippie taught you in liberal arts college) and develop a positive attitude. Let me guess: You majored in a liberal arts, work at clothing store in a mall for $15 an hour, and have $100,000 in student loans. That's a recurring theme with many young people who complain that their parents had it so much better than they do. You made stupid decisions, even though your generation has easy access to massive amounts of information (the wonders of the internet - NOT invented by Millennials) that was not easily accessible to your parents when they were starting out. Perhaps aged-based promotions in grade school made it unnecessary for you to learn math and you simply aren't able to calculate that $15/hour won't allow you to live in a McMansion and save for retirement. Or maybe, you think you should get a participation trophy in life.

Less complaining. More working. You should try it. You're not "LowonLuck", you're low on motivation.
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Old 12-28-2015, 04:54 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
12,304 posts, read 10,725,371 times
Reputation: 20540
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stockyman View Post
I haven't read any of the responses but there's one thing that has always bothered me about children who don't take care of their elderly parents while their siblings do. Don't expect everything in the will to be divided equally if you don't put in the time, effort, or money.

Also it bothers me when an elderly parent divides everything equally among children while neglecting the ones who do spend all the time, effort, and money on them. Please remember the ones who go above and beyond. Don't remember the past. What matters is now.

I've heard a lot of stories in the past where some siblings expect an equal share when they have never lifted a finger for their elderly parent. Just because a sibling lives far away does not mean they are absolved of responsibility.
No worries. I want absolutely nothing from my parents estate. I want nothing to do with them now. Why would I be entitled to anything? I don't want it. I also don't want to deal with the clean up either. Not many people would want to clean up after a hoarder....let alone one with 6 cats confined to 3 rooms and the floors and furniture are covered with puppy pee pads. I say bulldoze the place. The place should probably condemned anyway.

Hate to break it to you, but everything isn't so cut and dry. My mother would love for me to take care of her and give my sister and brother everything. That's NEVER going to happen.

There are so many different family dynamics and things that happen over the years. Just because one isn't taking care of a parent in their old age doesn't mean they never took care of them. Many people also aren't capable because they have their own families and jobs to take care of. My mother is one who needs a lot of medical help and it's getting worse. I'm not a doctor nor am I a therapist. I say let the trained professionals do their job and not burden those who don't have a clue what they are doing.
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Old 12-28-2015, 06:28 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,694 posts, read 6,985,945 times
Reputation: 14067
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
Hey, many Boomers never had any sort of pension plan either (me included). All my husband and I have ever had was a "useless 401K." He's 57 and i'm 53 - both Boomers.
I have to wonder what a "useless 401 K " is, now that you mention it.
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Old 12-28-2015, 07:04 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,494 posts, read 35,964,225 times
Reputation: 62903
Quote:
Originally Posted by Travelassie View Post
I have to wonder what a "useless 401 K " is, now that you mention it.
True dat.

"Useless savings?" "Useless 6 percent match?" Nyah, I bet it's "useless cuz I don't put anything in it ever."
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Old 12-29-2015, 09:52 AM
 
39,182 posts, read 20,288,666 times
Reputation: 12712
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marc Paolella View Post
I can't just assume that women end up doing more of this because men are too lazy. There has to be something more. Something in nature. Something having to do with maternity. And I don't think it has to do with the Italian thing. My family is 1/2 Italian and 1/2 German and really not culturally close to either one. I think of myself only as an American. So it's not the culture.

In any case, you don't plan to wipe any butts and neither do I. Especially since the 2 butts I would probably be begging my sisters to wipe belong to two people who died decades ago. I wish they were still here for the butt debate, but as I watch all my friends begin to bury their parents, I am quite relieved in my 50s that I don't have to go through this as I get older.
I'm a woman and don't have a maternal bone in my body and that is one of the reasons I don't have kids. Another reason is because growing up watching the men treating woman like 2nd class citizens, and there you are, taking the same attitude, assuming that taking care of elderly parents is woman's work.

Men naturally ASSume taking care of the kids is woman's work even when the woman work full time. No, I'm not a feminist, I was just observant of people's attitudes at a very young age. Thank god my grandfather was not like that or I would think all men are like that but thanks to people like you and my brother I see the attitude still exists today. His attitude was just dump her in the nursing home even though she's mentally as able as me and you. Ya, just dump her, that's pathetic.

My uncle said that I should move in with her, it's my place.. "duty". I guess either my husband is supposed to give up his home and move with me or divorces me. Hopefully your wife will have to choose between you and her parents like it's expected of me.

Last edited by petch751; 12-29-2015 at 10:06 AM..
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