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I wasn't trying to "bash" the south...just simply searching for an answer. This was taken WAY to far. I thought we could all atleast be mature, some of yous are way to defensive to have a conversation with
You brought up the war, you denounced southern hospitality, and you said "we" trash the north. You grouped us all together. Of course people are going to get defensive!
Now, I don't doubt you could've met a few who won't like yankees, no matter how much you try to assimilate. Those people exist, but they aren't the majority.
Honest question - how long have you been living in Charleston?
You claimed that northerners don't bash the south when they do.
You claimed that Charlestonians shut people out just because they're from the north. This isn't true at all, Charlestonians shut people out because they don't like them. Bless their hearts.
You claimed that southerners dislike northerners for "stereotypical" reasons. That implies that we aren't capable of seeing past the surface and only see what we want to see in people.
When we responded to your questions, you became defensive, reminded us that the civil war was over (after you started the argument-seems like a pattern with the north starting a war and then villifying the south for it) and accused us of taking this discussion too far...
Please don't take this the wrong way but I don't think your problem is that you're from the north.
I will, however, throw you a bone in the spirit of being a southern gentleman. Tell me what you would have liked to hear and I will gladly parrot it back to you.
when you move down here you don't feel welcomed as soon as they hear you're from the "north" they put walls up
Well, I haven't actually been to Charleston yet, but I feel like I'd have to see this to believe it. Are you sure that you're not just blanketing the whole area based on a few negative experiences? Sometimes I tend to do that. For example...I used to attend this church for awhile that I liked a lot. Eventually I had a few issues with a handful of the members, and than after that I felt like the *entire* church was difficult to get along with. In retrospect, I see that I didn't even know the majority of the members, and I that had allowed my perception of the entire congregation to be distorted based on a bad experience I had with only a few people.
I haven't read any of the other posts but I'll share my opinion. There does seem to be something some southerners have against those from the north, that you don't feel in the North about the Southerners. I think it has a lot to do with feeling like they are being invaded and persuaded, not that they really have any historical resentment about the northerners (like some might say "the civil war is over" when they are offended by the term "Yankee"). It seems like Southerners see a very clear divide between north and south but notherners don't seem to have that mentality. There are probably more Northerners that move South than Southerners that move North (I think it has a lot to do with the weather). So Southerners experience non-natives daily, where-as my home state of Maine doesn't experience a lot of non-natives moving in. Northerners do have stereotypes about Southerners but that is different than a resentment vibe that is sometimes felt by a "Yankee" living in the south. So I think it is more about the abundance of northerners that move south, more than anything. Some transplanted "Yankees" are very happy with how things are in the south and don't want to change a thing (that would be my family). We have been greatly accepted by native southerners and my kids even have a neighborhood "meemaw".
For Southerners it is Northerners, for Maine it is those from Mass, for Mass. it is those from Connecticut, etc. It is usually a feeling of being invaded and feeling judged.....so although I get a sense of that from the Southerners, all populations tend to have their feeling of resentment of those they consider invaders.
It isn't so much the "invasion" that bothers me. Vacation here, move here, buy a home here, spend as much money as you can here. My mom is a new yorker and my dad is a los angelino. I'm a Charlestonian.
My issue is with the people who move here and complain...about...EVERYTHING.
"People drive so slow"
"That wouldn't have happened up north"
"We have laws to prevent that back home"
"My neighbors kept me up ALL night shooting off fireworks, back in (wherever) it's against the law"
I used to work with a woman who was from Rhode Island and never had a single nice thing to say about Charleston or the people who lived here. She constantly gushed about how amazing it was "back home." One day I asked why she lived here...not long after that conversation she moved to Delaware and seems happier there.
I'm really not TRYING to be a jerk and I'm sorry if it comes off as offensive but if you aren't from here and you don't like it here and you were happier somewhere else, maybe you should go back because moving is probably easier than changing the culture of the entire south. Anyone is welcome to come and stay as long as you like but don't expect the south to change for you...ain't gonna happen.
It isn't so much the "invasion" that bothers me. Vacation here, move here, buy a home here, spend as much money as you can here. My mom is a new yorker and my dad is a los angelino. I'm a Charlestonian.
My issue is with the people who move here and complain...about...EVERYTHING.
"People drive so slow"
"That wouldn't have happened up north"
"We have laws to prevent that back home"
"My neighbors kept me up ALL night shooting off fireworks, back in (wherever) it's against the law"
I used to work with a woman who was from Rhode Island and never had a single nice thing to say about Charleston or the people who lived here. She constantly gushed about how amazing it was "back home." One day I asked why she lived here...not long after that conversation she moved to Delaware and seems happier there.
I'm really not TRYING to be a jerk and I'm sorry if it comes off as offensive but if you aren't from here and you don't like it here and you were happier somewhere else, maybe you should go back because moving is probably easier than changing the culture of the entire south. Anyone is welcome to come and stay as long as you like but don't expect the south to change for you...ain't gonna happen.
Is this meant for me? I didn't think you were being offensive, not at all. I don't think anyone should live where they aren't happy. I LOVE the Carolinas and have always felt welcomed. Invaders might not have been the appropriate word. I hope I wasn't being offensive because it is just a pattern I've seen and I don't think it is as negative as the original poster makes it sound. I think there is a natural human trait to enjoy things "the way they were" and a boost in population changes things.
I love the Carolina's and I find the people just so polite and interesting. I have stood at the beach and talked to local "strangers" for half hours to over an hour. Sometimes about dogs. Sometimes about the area, or even about fishing here.
As a transplanted Northerner I find this to be an endearing trait. People who would take the time to talk to others so sincerely, that they may never meet again.
Some living habits are different here but it doesn't mean they are wrong.
I can't drink Sweet Tea, it is just too sweet for me. ( although some places do make it less sweet) I don't mean to insult anyone when I have to refuse it.
The "North" in me came out at the Christmas Tree farm ,when so many of the trees for sale as Christmas trees were just border trees in my former states. I giggled about it though, and thought it was interesting. I was learning something new and different then I had known before. I couldn't cut a tree but went to the stack of NC Fraser Fir. Old habits die hard.
When I say somethings are different it is not to insult this area and people I love in SC. I like most differences.
I love that its calmer then up North, perhaps slower by a bit and thats fine by me.
I love the people, the accent, and the welcome feeling.
I don't feel I am unwelcomed here at all. Some may... who are too loud, too fast, too pushy or too vocal. Just because that style doesn't fit so well in this Southern place.
Southern people think northern people are crazy for wanting to get to places on time, always looking sharp and fresh, and for not wanting to engage in pointless chit chat with strangers.
Northern people think southern people are crazy for driving 20 miles under the speed limit in the left lane, not reading GQ, and for talking like hillbilly cowboys.
Of course, this is the stereotypical northern/southern engagement.
I'm a native NYer. I don't even go to the south because I don't appreciate being called a Yankee, don't like having people see my NY license plate and automatically assuming I'm a bad person, hate people seeing my NY Yankees fitted hat and thinking I'm some sort of gangster, hate the annoying southern accent, and hate having people talk behind my back to others after they've acted completely genuine to me.
I love the photo. You have to give kudos to New Yorkers, they are extremely clever and creative.....
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