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I am going to make a half hearted attempt to psycho analyze the OP... simply baseed on my own experience. I went through a similar situation with my wife during our relo process. In fact I'm still dealing with it.
Leaving family and friends in the PERFECT situation is difficult enough. Even if you were moving to Utopiaville, there's always going to be that gnawing feeling in the back of your mind. You start to worry about "leaving" and slowly everything becomes an issue. For me, my wife progressively got worse as we got closer to the move. It got so bad a couple of times she swore the move was off - one time 2 weeks before the movers were set to come... had mailed the housing deposit already. I had to postpone the movers a week as she literally STOPPED packing the house. Fast forward to now and she's still blocking a bit...
Here's the thing - what you're feeling is perfectly NORMAL. You're nervous about leaving. Unfortunately you stumbled on this mostly anonymous board with people from all walks of life with a variety of agendas. It's much easier to highlight issues with an area...So, if you're looking for a way to justify staying - you'll get plenty of ammo here. As an aside - use the features of this community to help put posts in context. I would suggest that you put more credence into posts from folks with higher Rep. You'll find that you won't bite on the trolls, as much.
In the end, I think you need to try and come to grips with leaving first... Nowhere will be good enough until you do that. Best of luck and give your Husband a hug - he's struggling through it, too.
I am going to make a half hearted attempt to psycho analyze the OP... simply baseed on my own experience. I went through a similar situation with my wife during our relo process. In fact I'm still dealing with it.
Leaving family and friends in the PERFECT situation is difficult enough. Even if you were moving to Utopiaville, there's always going to be that gnawing feeling in the back of your mind. You start to worry about "leaving" and slowly everything becomes an issue. For me, my wife progressively got worse as we got closer to the move. It got so bad a couple of times she swore the move was off - one time 2 weeks before the movers were set to come... had mailed the housing deposit already. I had to postpone the movers a week as she literally STOPPED packing the house. Fast forward to now and she's still blocking a bit...
Here's the thing - what you're feeling is perfectly NORMAL. You're nervous about leaving. Unfortunately you stumbled on this mostly anonymous board with people from all walks of life with a variety of agendas. It's much easier to highlight issues with an area...So, if you're looking for a way to justify staying - you'll get plenty of ammo here. As an aside - use the features of this community to help put posts in context. I would suggest that you put more credence into posts from folks with higher Rep. You'll find that you won't bite on the trolls, as much.
In the end, I think you need to try and come to grips with leaving first... Nowhere will be good enough until you do that. Best of luck and give your Husband a hug - he's struggling through it, too.
Hugs to you too Mikey, sounds like you sure could use it
This is a great post and I do hope it helps DiamondGirl. Sorry to hear the move was so tough for your wife. I do hope things keep getting better and better.
My husband & I have decided to post-pone our move to Charlotte, until early next year. Well it is really me who is the resistant one. Finding this site was a blessing & a curse. The blessing was I learned that Charlotte had more to offer than I initially knew. The curse, I have been scared senseless.
The wool has been pulled from over my eyes. Charlotte is not the paradise I was wishing for. I know it was niave of me to think a city was the answer to blissfull suburan life. Coming from a city of 100,000 to a city with more than 600,000 people had to be a change. I guess what really put the nail in the coffin was the tales of random crime.
So I guess have to sit back and make a decision of what I really want to do.
Tell Mr. Haney and the others back in Hooterville I said hello.
I understand how you can feel that way. I wish you the best of luck and in the end, Go with your gut...
With that said..
-Crime is average in Charlotte. This board highlights both the positives and negatives. It's the middle that is missed.. the middle majority.. Mind you people on this board are usually passionate about what they post or they wouldn't waste their time posting it. Crime is a sensative subject.. But as I have lived in several large cities.. if you want to live in one, crime happens.. no where is 100% safe.. But you cannot live in fear. I would avoid certain places, but Charlotte or the majority or Charlotte is not one of them.
-Drought, it is hitting the whole Southeast. But also it hit California, Arizona, Nevada 3 years ago. Texas, NM and Okla just got out of one, it is a cycle.. I think they only places I haven't seen one is like the NW.
- Recession - Actually Charlotte is a little better off than others. Because Wachovia and BofA are both fairly strong and growing, those are two big staples. Duke and Lowes are also strong. People are flocking here, which puts a crunch on jobs. Give it some time to flatten out. I don't see the writing on the wall that others do, unless they all are coming here for dream jobs. I just met about 10 people in their early 20's came up here with no jobs and are working part time while they look. Then I met some people in their 40's who are only holding out for that perfect job. The risk you take moving without a job, you might have to settle and keep looking. Phoenix, LA, Detroit, Tampa, Vegas.. Yikes.. those places are hurting big time.
- Houses.. Charlotte is in the top 5 right now in keeping house value. Great time to buy. Hard time to sell.. but we are holding strong.
- Weather.. Its better than Dallas and Chicago for sure.
Good luck again.. You may like other places better.. But your pros and cons list.. compare to other cities.. Are their better places, probably.. but can you find work too?
Hugs to you too Mikey, sounds like you sure could use it
This is a great post and I do hope it helps DiamondGirl. Sorry to hear the move was so tough for your wife. I do hope things keep getting better and better.
Thanks, it means alot.
My biggest thing right now is trying to convince her to give it an honest chance... I would suspect that this is pretty common for people moving away from their family/friends.
My biggest thing right now is trying to convince her to give it an honest chance... I would suspect that this is pretty common for people moving away from their family/friends.
[quote=Whytewulf;2975083]- Houses.. Charlotte is in the top 5 right now in keeping house value. Great time to buy. Hard time to sell.. but we are holding strong.
My biggest thing right now is trying to convince her to give it an honest chance... I would suspect that this is pretty common for people moving away from their family/friends.
Mikey, may I also suggest that you don't "push" Charlotte on your wife right now. Give her some time to adjust and to start liking it here because she WANTS to be here and not because you're telling her she should like it here.
After our move, (that I was very unsure about in the beginning and still am at times), my husband tried to convince me that I should be "overjoyed" to have moved her. Everytime I had something negative to say about the area, he became defensive, as if I was raining on his parade. It was as if he was trying to "fix" the situation. When in fact, all I needed was time to adjust, time to like Charlotte "on my own terms" and not because he wanted me to.
Hope that makes some sense.
Give your wife a hug and understand that it takes time.
I am going to make a half hearted attempt to psycho analyze the OP... simply baseed on my own experience. I went through a similar situation with my wife during our relo process. In fact I'm still dealing with it.
Leaving family and friends in the PERFECT situation is difficult enough. Even if you were moving to Utopiaville, there's always going to be that gnawing feeling in the back of your mind. You start to worry about "leaving" and slowly everything becomes an issue. For me, my wife progressively got worse as we got closer to the move. It got so bad a couple of times she swore the move was off - one time 2 weeks before the movers were set to come... had mailed the housing deposit already. I had to postpone the movers a week as she literally STOPPED packing the house. Fast forward to now and she's still blocking a bit...
Here's the thing - what you're feeling is perfectly NORMAL. You're nervous about leaving. Unfortunately you stumbled on this mostly anonymous board with people from all walks of life with a variety of agendas. It's much easier to highlight issues with an area...So, if you're looking for a way to justify staying - you'll get plenty of ammo here. As an aside - use the features of this community to help put posts in context. I would suggest that you put more credence into posts from folks with higher Rep. You'll find that you won't bite on the trolls, as much.
In the end, I think you need to try and come to grips with leaving first... Nowhere will be good enough until you do that. Best of luck and give your Husband a hug - he's struggling through it, too.
Thank you this means so much to me. I do hav eto deal with the issues of leaving first. I really do. But I don't want to sabotage my move, because I really want to move.
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