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When a person is only attracted to a certain thing or type- in this case a very narrow and very specific body type - it's called a fetish. Your husband's fetish is not your problem, OP, it's actually his problem. People who have fetishes need to be very open and clear about them before a serious relationship happens, because they are the ones who have the exacting preferences and cannot deal with the fact that people and things change.
This isn't merely about sexual attraction, this is about the husband having a fetish and using it as an excuse to sexually abandon his wife.
When a person is only attracted to a certain thing or type- in this case a very narrow and very specific body type - it's called a fetish. Your husband's fetish is not your problem, OP, it's actually his problem. People who have fetishes need to be very open and clear about them before a serious relationship happens, because they are the ones who have the exacting preferences and cannot deal with the fact that people and things change.
This isn't merely about sexual attraction, this is about the husband having a fetish and using it as an excuse to sexually abandon his wife.
I agree. And I was wondering what if she had become disfigured in an accident. No sex again? This has probably been the case for some unfortunate people. My ex-husband has a fetish for skeleton thin women. Our marriage was three decades of hell. I didn't know what I was getting into.
People gain weight with age, no spouse should expect the person they married at 25 to look the same at 45. That does not mean that its ok to gain 100 pounds but even then we marry "till death do you part" I would love my wife no matter what she weighs.
Would you rather be fat and divorced or slim and married? It doesn't matter if "you think" he should love you the way you are. You're the one who changed, not him.
My husband and I have been together some 13 years now. His first marriage, my second. When we met I weighed about 100 pounds. He told me that he's always been attracted to slender, petite women. For most of my life I was the skinny girl. Even after having my 2 kids from my first husband I still remained slim and petite. Our sex life was great in the beginning. Well, since then I've began putting on weight and I liked the way I looked with some meat on my bones. I like to eat and I'll eat a bowl of cereal every night before I go to bed. People have commented on how much better I look, except my husband. No we don't have any kids together. I guess I've gone from 100 lbs to almost 150 lbs any my husband doesn't seem to want to touch me. He's always said that he doesn't like a woman with a big booty (we're both black) and most of the black guys I know love a woman with a big rear end. Not my husband.
We've only had sex maybe twice in the past 3 or 4 months and he refuses to touch me. One thing I can say about him is that he's brutally honest. He'll tell me that he's not attracted to bigger women and that I've gained weight. I wear body shapers and "girdles" to hold everything in but he says that's nice when you're dressed but when you take that off and the real me comes out it's not attractive to see that I've put on about 50% of my initial body weight since we first met.
I'm the type of woman who believes in unconditional love. You should love the person you're with no matter how they change. My husband says that it is only reserved for parents and children and somewhat brothers and sisters. Why can't he just love me for me? We're in our mid 40s and he doesn't seem to care about sex (with me). Don't most men like sex? If he's not having sex with me then who's he having it with? Your weight should not be an issue if you truly love someone.The funny thing is this. He's also put on weight. No, not as much as me but I still love and desire him. He went from a 44 suit to a 46 so he's putting on the lbs too. He won't touch me. He won't cuddle with me. I've caught him checking out younger, slimmer women and I'm starting to worry.
What should I do? No, I don't want to go back to my original weight but I want my husband to want me again.
I think this is a sensitive subject to a lot of people and there is no easy who is right, who is wrong answer.
To me personally, as long as he is trying to please me and not letting himself go, I would still find him attractive.
Physically, I like men with six pack and strong long legs. I have always dated guys like that. But I have been thinking about what if my current boyfriend loses his packs, can I still picture myself loving him? The answer is always yes yes and yes. So I think unconditional love is really a possibility.
I don't know what really bothers your husband to be complete honest. But if my boyfriend chooses to let himself go, I think I would have a problem with that. I can deal with normal aging, but I cannot deal with letting go of oneself.
Hope this makes sense.
Last edited by lilyflower3191981; 10-19-2015 at 10:47 AM..
You.......
Throws shoe, bounces off muscles.
Dammit
OP, unfortunately you cannot change what your husband is attracted to. My dad married my mom when she was super skinny then dumped her when she gained to a healthy weight after my little brother was born. Some people's love, man or woman, is shallow. You can't fill a shallow vessel with enough to sustain it through a drought. Sometimes you gotta let it go. He literally doesn't deserve you.
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