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Old 07-15-2013, 12:46 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
10,860 posts, read 18,883,731 times
Reputation: 25110

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I am obese, my sisters are both obese, and my father is too. I grew up hearing from my mother about how fat I was. I felt enormous. I was (or thought I was) the biggest girl in my high school. My mom told me on a regular basis that I would never be able to get married and that I would have to become a nun or lose weight so I'd be able to get a job without people looking at me and thinking I was too lazy to work. My grandmother was a size zero. My mother is a size 16. I know my grandmother gave my mom a lot of grief about how large she was. My grandmother was actually anorexic. At one point, she weighed only 70 lbs. She broke her hip and had to stay in the hospital for a year with a feeding tube before she weighed enough that they could safely operate and do a hip replacement. My mother still talks about how wonderfully slender my grandmother was, and how it would be great to be that size. My mother has bizarre ideas about nutrition...she was lecturing my kids over the weekend about how fruit was just as bad as junk food. She was also criticizing my daughter's appearance (a size 4 or 6) until my daughter told her to stuff it.

Anyhow, since you asked about relationships...I have been married for many years. One of my sisters just celebrated her 10th anniversary. Our youngest sister is much younger than us, she's been engaged for a year. None of us were thin when our relationships began. There are men who like larger women.

 
Old 07-15-2013, 01:32 AM
 
Location: CA
3,469 posts, read 6,935,218 times
Reputation: 4779
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
I'm serious here - since probably no woman wants to go from normal weight to obese, if she does, that means at some point she gave up on herself? What about giving up on relationships and career? I can't think of any highly successful obese woman. And yes, I know that thyroid disorder, medication, etc. can cause weight gain, but the chances of going from slim to obese due to that are almost zilch. I'm actually trying to get over the probably common perception that the typical obese woman doesn't care, but at some point she probably was neglecting herself.
I will disagree with you there having witnessed it in my own sister. She has hashimodo's disease, and has not changed her habits (which were not great to begin with), but has steadily gained weight. I DO believe she could control it better and she does not make enough effort to do so, but with this disease comes side effects like chronic depression & insomnia. This is not "giving up" so much as having real emotional/mental/physical obstacles to deal with that many others don't experience & may struggle to understand because of it.

She's not obese, but overweight so that she'd be called "fat" now, yes; and she used to be very thin like me.

If you're suggesting these people's obesity has direct ties to some emotional issues, then I'd agree, over all. I think it's often more that than genetics, although Western diet/lifestyle is to blame as well, and social pressure to give into it is strong. That's why it can take someone very emotionally healthy to prevent gaining or keep off & lose excess weight if they have some illness working against them. But often these illnesses affect emotional health, soo.....
 
Old 07-15-2013, 01:38 AM
 
12,607 posts, read 14,609,308 times
Reputation: 14096
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
I am obese, my sisters are both obese, and my father is too. I grew up hearing from my mother about how fat I was. I felt enormous. I was (or thought I was) the biggest girl in my high school. My mom told me on a regular basis that I would never be able to get married and that I would have to become a nun or lose weight so I'd be able to get a job without people looking at me and thinking I was too lazy to work. My grandmother was a size zero. My mother is a size 16. I know my grandmother gave my mom a lot of grief about how large she was. My grandmother was actually anorexic. At one point, she weighed only 70 lbs. She broke her hip and had to stay in the hospital for a year with a feeding tube before she weighed enough that they could safely operate and do a hip replacement. My mother still talks about how wonderfully slender my grandmother was, and how it would be great to be that size. My mother has bizarre ideas about nutrition...she was lecturing my kids over the weekend about how fruit was just as bad as junk food. She was also criticizing my daughter's appearance (a size 4 or 6) until my daughter told her to stuff it.

Anyhow, since you asked about relationships...I have been married for many years. One of my sisters just celebrated her 10th anniversary. Our youngest sister is much younger than us, she's been engaged for a year. None of us were thin when our relationships began. There are men who like larger women.
I can relate! I was going to say I wouldn't let your mother near your daughter if I were you. Then saw your daughter handled it herself!

I remember when I was about 10 years old, I was wearing a pair of shorts and matching top, and my mom saying something about my butt getting big and boys wouldn't like me if my butt was too big. It took me by surprise because: 1) I didn't think my butt was big and never even thought about my butt at all as far as that goes, and 2) I had absolutely no interest in boys and certainly wasn't thinking about making sure my body was pleasing to boys.

The funny thing is, looking back at my weights on my report cards, I was nowhere near fat. I was tall for my age and thin. I remember in 6th grade being the tallest kid in the class at 5'1". I weighed 78 to 82 lbs in fifth and sixth grade. I'm sure my butt was huge.
 
Old 07-15-2013, 02:37 AM
 
35,121 posts, read 37,802,296 times
Reputation: 61840
Quote:
Originally Posted by Supine View Post
You don't like CT Fletcher? Ross of RossBoxing.Com does. That's how I first got hip to CT Fletcher.

I have no clue who this is and have never heard of him/her or any of the .com's you mention.

Ross put up one or two of CT Fletcher's videos.

Ross is white and All American, so, you should like him. Your Top Source For Free Boxing Training Advice and RossTraining.com Blog


So if he was Black and American or Mexican and American or Martian and American I should not like him?


I occasionally read his blog.

Here is something had on one of the pages of his blog about losing weight.

RossTraining.com Blog


Obese Girl, Breanna Bond Loses 66 Pounds, Maintains Healthy Diet - YouTube



Excerpts.
See... if you never ate and kept running you'd start to lose weight at some point. People don't gain weight by looking at food. You need to eat though. But you can still exercise.

That crazy a___ Cuban will put you on a diet of nothing but fish, salad, and water. That's it. And work you with exercises until you want to die or pass out. Day after day.

I'm not sure who he/she is talking about here but what does the fact that this person is Cuban have to do with anything? I don't take anyone too seriously that does not recognize everyone as being part of the "HUMAN RACE" and nothing beyond that.


HOT MAMI BRINGS BABY MAMA DRAMA - OPERATION OSMIN - YouTube

I really do not need any "weight loss/exercise" information, been there done that all by myself with no surgery, programs, or help from anyone but myself with a lifestyle change. So, you and him and whomever else can go preach to some other congregation.

One more thing, I cannot stand the use of the phrase "Baby Mama/Baby Daddy" so I doubt that I would waste my time watching or listening to someone who cannot refer to a Mother or Father and their child as "the child's Mother or Father" or some other more respectable variation.
 
Old 07-15-2013, 04:45 AM
Status: "Rocktober...well that was fast. :-(" (set 18 days ago)
 
Location: Fredericksburg, VA
10,285 posts, read 10,446,371 times
Reputation: 13239
Quote:
Originally Posted by Supine View Post
And I know the majority (which means not all) of overweight Americans are physically lazy. Otherwise they would not be overweight.
This amuses me especially coming from you. You've written several dissertations overanalyzing attraction and preferences to a ridiculous degree. Yet you turn around and dismiss the issue of weight by saying "most overweight Americans are lazy." I read a few of your posts, then I grew tired of the over-the-tip efforts to impress others with your intellect. I had my thoughts about you. Now you're 100% exposed. Someone with real intellect and critical thought toward this subject would not have issued such an ignorant statement.

Moving along now...
 
Old 07-15-2013, 07:24 AM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 28,520,978 times
Reputation: 19578
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
That probably isn't enough daily protein (meaning starvation mode), and a person can exercise without leaving the house (or even 'wasting' more than a few minutes at a time). As for moi, my life isn't anywhere near perfect. For example, years ago, I did take oral steroids for at least a few weeks. It did not cause me noticeable weight gain. I took antidepressants for longer than that - no weight gain. That makes me skeptical that many people get very heavy from medication alone. Almost definitely there is no formal research on causes of significant weight gain (that would require either very close, lengthy monitoring or unreliable retrospective accounts). I'd be surprised if medication is a factor in most cases (although I'd bet it's more common in women, who take more medication than men do).

If you don't like this thread and have nothing valuable to contribute, on to the next one. Meanwhile, the relationship aspect of weight gain has yet to be discussed productively.
Luckily I am the type of person who doesn't really go off on people.

Relationship. I have a man who loves me no matter the ups and down of my weight or the causes of it.

Leaving the house is not the issue. If you cannot walk, if each and every joint in your body is painful to move at times, you don't do it. That is the Rheumatoid Arthritis. That also attacks the organs. I have a feeling you don't know much about that illness. It is an auto-immune disease in which the cells in the body attack themselves. It is much more than your "grandmothers arthritis."

Rheumatoid arthritis - MayoClinic.com

I take a chemotherapy as well as a biologic once weekly for this. On the day of and sometimes up to 2 days after I don't feel very well at all. In taking the biologic, my biggest risk is cancer, IMO. My parents had 7 cancers between them before they passed, my mother when I was 26, and my father when I was 21.

The biggest risk is Lymphoma. I am especially afraid of that possible side effect because that is indeed the cancer that took my father. I already have a higher risk.

Fibromyalgia - MayoClinic.com

Fibromyalgia is very difficult to explain, but it does cause widespread pain which cannot be cured. You can take something such as Lyrica or Savella which also cause weight gain, and I have taken them both. I am currently on neither because they do not help enough to deal with the side effects.

Yes, I am in a relationship. It is a loving and caring one, and whether I gain or lose weight, he loves me just the same. He also knows I love him. If I am awake in the night trying to be quiet while sitting on the couch in tremendous pain with tears streaming down my face for a few hours he comes out and wipes my tears, gently wrapping his arms around me.

Relationships are not always about thin and overweight. They are about loving and caring. Kindness and compassion. The giving of oneself. We take and we give, we give and we take.

http://www.city-data.com/blogs/blog3...hick-thin.html

OP you read that. That will tell you about love and relationships. No matter a persons weight. Read all of them for all I care.

I had to stop working last June because I wasn't doing the job I thought I could. When I was there, I was, but I couldn't always be there.

He was overweight when I met him. I don't care. I don't feel I am extremely overweight, but my weight does fluctuate.

I did not see him as an overweight man. I grew to know him as the man I love. Weight was not an issue. When people love and care for one another the way we do, you could be blind, it wouldn't matter.

He does not feel I am disrespecting him for something I cannot help. He loves me for the person I am.

If you don't like the real-life answers people are posting, maybe you should stop reading the thread.

Some people actually do have health problems that may cause weight gain. They may have problems that make it so they are unable to exercise. I have both.

I do not know the statistics of men and women who have Fibromyalgia, but it is a debilitating disease.

I really tend to believe that you do not have a true grasp on real life.
 
Old 07-15-2013, 07:37 AM
 
Location: Philaburbia
31,164 posts, read 57,288,199 times
Reputation: 52030
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
Almost definitely there is no formal research on causes of significant weight gain (that would require either very close, lengthy monitoring or unreliable retrospective accounts). I'd be surprised if medication is a factor in most cases (although I'd bet it's more common in women, who take more medication than men do).
There are plenty of studies that show the correlation between some medications and weight gain. You can look them up on your own.

Quote:
Meanwhile, the relationship aspect of weight gain has yet to be discussed productively.
Perhaps because this isn't the relationship forum.

Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
I would like to make friends here
Big hint: This is not the way to go about it.
 
Old 07-15-2013, 10:06 AM
 
Location: New Hampshire
4,827 posts, read 4,646,310 times
Reputation: 3583
I don't even know what to say. I have been on both sides of the spectrum - I am 5ft 7 and at one point I weighed 276. It happened after my daughter was born. I barely gained any weight when I was pregnant with her (15 pounds). But after she was born I started eating junk a lot. I am a stress eater. I stopped working out because I was always tired. I don't think I was depressed but I was always stressed over money, work, school, bills plus being in a ****ty relationship didn't help.

I am doing better now, I've lost a lot of weight but want to lose more (I went from a size 20 to a size 11/12 which is semi-normal) and I am starting to feel like myself again. I used to be a size 6 and a gym rat.

All I can say is that most often than not you don't have an idea of why people are as big as they are. It is easy to judge but it isn't always right.
 
Old 07-15-2013, 10:40 AM
Status: "Rocktober...well that was fast. :-(" (set 18 days ago)
 
Location: Fredericksburg, VA
10,285 posts, read 10,446,371 times
Reputation: 13239
Quote:
Originally Posted by KickAssArmyChick View Post
I don't even know what to say. I have been on both sides of the spectrum - I am 5ft 7 and at one point I weighed 276. It happened after my daughter was born. I barely gained any weight when I was pregnant with her (15 pounds). But after she was born I started eating junk a lot. I am a stress eater. I stopped working out because I was always tired. I don't think I was depressed but I was always stressed over money, work, school, bills plus being in a ****ty relationship didn't help.

I am doing better now, I've lost a lot of weight but want to lose more (I went from a size 20 to a size 11/12 which is semi-normal) and I am starting to feel like myself again. I used to be a size 6 and a gym rat.

All I can say is that most often than not you don't have an idea of why people are as big as they are. It is easy to judge but it isn't always right.
Love this. It flies in the face of everything some of these posters would like to believe about overweight people. In order to accomplish what you did, you can't possibly have been lazy, stupid, or accept excuses for yourself. I'm sure it wasn't easy for you, and I'm sure your struggle is enduring, but you have demonstrated a lot of character in doing what you've done. A lot more character than someone who has never struggled with this yet chooses to judge those who have regardless of their ignorance in the subject.

Thank you for sharing.
 
Old 07-15-2013, 10:45 AM
 
Location: all over the place (figuratively)
2,624 posts, read 2,113,543 times
Reputation: 1679
I admit I never thought to look.
Drugs that can make you gain weight | Fox News
Prescription medications that make you gain weight
It sounds like corticosteroids alone can take a person from normal weight to obese (which I knew before this thread) and that Elavil and Zyprexa can do it more slowly (although I almost guarantee that many of the people studied weren't just gaining from the medication). Some other meds I will look into eventually. The number of people taking them long-term is just as much of an issue.

Re fruit, grapes/raisins aren't much healthier than junk food (both low-fiber, sugary, and easy to binge on), and some fruit juices, especially the unnecessarily sweetened ones, are about as bad as junk food.
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