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I know how it is to feel dissapointed in yourself for not meeting a challenge, but for the sake of everything good in the world, I hope you're kidding about feeling like killing yourself. I suggest not etertaining the thought. Sorry if I'm overreacting but, I never leave that kind of thing unattended. Its pretty real and serious to me. If you need to talk more about this feeling...don't hesitate to contact someone. But, sometimes just sleeping on it can help you put things in perspective the next day. Are you better today?
Thanks . Feeling kind of better today.
And FYI, I didn't mean literally killing myself. Just was disappointed and irritated when things didn't turn out as expected. Hot weather made things even worse. I discovered what was wrong, and am making progress.
that i am no longer young and it's time to move on with life and change my thinking instead of fooling myself or making a fool out of myself publicly. i'm 38 so the viagra pill poppin' has not yet begun but that's (around age 50 or so) when i'll really feel miserable. those in their teens and 20s do not appreciate fully what they have. i did appreciate it because i hated being old. when i was 15, i wished i could be 15 forever. i didn't even want to turn 20 so i definitely loved being young hence it didn't go to waste, but alas everything must end. even obama's presidency (had to throw politics in there).
The person staring back at me from the mirror is precisely who I am. This body has been jerked around for 68 years and they show in the character lines and creases gained from being brought up at the beach, years in the military and law enforcement, a couple as a cowboy even, and many other outdoor pursuits during my lifetime. When we started going out together when I was a young lad of merely 50, my wife characterized me as being "ruggedly good looking." I can certainly agree with the "ruggedly" part. In a nutshell, I see me for good or for ill. I have the love of a good woman. That's what matters. There are no fantasies and no regrets.
I am reminded of a favorite quote, author unknown, as follows: "Care not for show. Life is too short and too sacred for make believe."
Thats true, 'Lucy', having kids is no joke. There are so many things that go with it. Those of us who've had kids should be proud of those things that make us mature women, but usually we feel a little ashamed of ourselves someway.
I have had 3 kids and my oldest child is now 21 and in college. Its an amazing thing to be talking to this other young adult woman and thinking of all the years that led up to now. Amazing.
It amazes me to think that my oldest will be 20 years old in September, the same age I was when she was born.
I'm usually frightened. My face is weird. My face-shape is unlike anybody else's I've ever seen. It is hexagon shaped. Maybe I should learn to like that it's different. But it looks stupid. I have these high cheek bones that stick way out and then my skin is stretched over my cheek down to my jaw. Then above my cheek bones which stick out my head goes in to a fairly small skull with an undersized brain inside.
My favourite face shape is oblong. Straight sides and a high forehead, and rounded (but not double) chin.
To see what shape my face is just click on my username to see my profile picture. I drew a self portrait, 99% accuracy.
All I see is the 50lbs I gained when I quit smoking 2 years ago and wonder if I will EVER get rid of it because it sure doesnt feel like it.
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. Feeling kind of better today. 
