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Old 05-08-2014, 03:51 PM
 
Location: SWFL
21,431 posts, read 18,144,759 times
Reputation: 18811

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Quote:
Originally Posted by kygman View Post
An older friend of my parents was at the house about a year after his wife died. I remember him telling them he had started dating again. He grinned when he told why he took so long to date again. Said even as much as he missed his wife, it was nice not being fussed at for leaving the toilet seat up. lol
That's great! I could say the same in reverse. �� I see they make toilets that shut their own seats now. I wonder if that was invented by a woman or a man tired of hearing it too??
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Old 05-08-2014, 07:52 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,702 posts, read 21,750,727 times
Reputation: 27752
Quote:
Originally Posted by artisan4 View Post
I completely understand. Caregiving is extremely stressful. I don't plan to marry again either.
You may never marry again, but you might. There's no way of telling now, is there?
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Old 05-15-2014, 01:41 PM
 
Location: Naples, FL
321 posts, read 283,594 times
Reputation: 435
There is no magic timeframe. Everyone moves forward at their own pace.

For me, I figured I was ready to date again when I no longer compared my 'date' to my first husband. I then knew I was open to getting to know and accept someone for who they were - not who I wanted them to be.

Good luck to you.
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Old 06-09-2014, 01:25 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,174,193 times
Reputation: 3514
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandsam View Post
There is no magic timeframe. Everyone moves forward at their own pace.

For me, I figured I was ready to date again when I no longer compared my 'date' to my first husband. I then knew I was open to getting to know and accept someone for who they were - not who I wanted them to be.

Good luck to you.
Good advice!...I know I'd probably compare other men to my husband if I did try to date right now. And, this wouldn't be fair...I know I'm not ready yet...Great that you reached a point where you knew you were ready to date and "move-on."
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Old 06-11-2014, 04:12 AM
 
Location: Florida
18,290 posts, read 18,533,242 times
Reputation: 20965
Whether one is still single, divorced or widowed, the most successful relationships are between two people who want a each other as a companion, not needs each other.
Some good friends may be better for you in the long run for right now than would be going from the frying pan of loneliness to the fire of regret.
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Old 06-11-2014, 07:59 AM
 
Location: Colorado
1,969 posts, read 1,899,684 times
Reputation: 1723
Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold View Post
Whether one is still single, divorced or widowed, the most successful relationships are between two people who want a each other as a companion, not needs each other.
Some good friends may be better for you in the long run for right now than would be going from the frying pan of loneliness to the fire of regret.
Good friends are important. I don't want to make any mistakes. I know too many people who are divorced. Nothing wrong with that of course but who needs more trauma.
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Old 06-11-2014, 08:27 AM
 
8,305 posts, read 8,580,329 times
Reputation: 25923
Quote:
Originally Posted by artisan4 View Post
My wife died of cancer three months ago. I'm not the basket case I was nowadays, but of course my life partner is gone and frankly I'm pretty lonely. I am 52. I wondered what others' experiences are/ were in this situation. Thanks.
I am not widowed and so my advice may not be as good as some you are getting here. Nevertheless, because I am a similar age (54) I will give it.

Live is short. Healthy years of life are even shorter. I suspect your dead spouse wouldn't want you to suffer. She'd be happiest knowing that you got on with your life and found companionship.

Live each day as though it was your last because you never know if that might actually be true.

If you want to go find someone to date, than do so. Plunge into it. Boldly go where you have never gone before.

As others have suggested here. Avoid quick commitments. Avoid rash decisions. However, the fact you are dating doesn't have to mean you are seeking a life partner. It can just mean you want female companionship. Make that point clear.
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Old 06-11-2014, 12:42 PM
 
Location: Colorado
1,969 posts, read 1,899,684 times
Reputation: 1723
Quote:
Originally Posted by markg91359 View Post
I am not widowed and so my advice may not be as good as some you are getting here. Nevertheless, because I am a similar age (54) I will give it.

Live is short. Healthy years of life are even shorter. I suspect your dead spouse wouldn't want you to suffer. She'd be happiest knowing that you got on with your life and found companionship.

Live each day as though it was your last because you never know if that might actually be true.

If you want to go find someone to date, than do so. Plunge into it. Boldly go where you have never gone before.

As others have suggested here. Avoid quick commitments. Avoid rash decisions. However, the fact you are dating doesn't have to mean you are seeking a life partner. It can just mean you want female companionship. Make that point clear.
Thanks. These are strange days. Am hoping for good things to come.
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Old 06-11-2014, 11:07 PM
 
1,627 posts, read 2,636,462 times
Reputation: 2047
Dear OP,
I am sorry for your loss of your wife. I was five years older than you when I lost my late husband. Everyone is different, there are no rules. If you find you are in a relationship six months being alone, all the better. This month will make two years and I am not ready for a relationship and I really don't foresee myself in a relationship. Please my only advice is to don't rush into anything, take everything slow.
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Old 06-12-2014, 08:33 AM
 
Location: Columbia SC
7,961 posts, read 6,706,083 times
Reputation: 10706
I always said I would probably remarry if something happened to my wife. She has been undergoing treatment for lung cancer for several years. While she is doing well, the worries, scheduling, the what all's associated with the whole event made me realize she is the only one I could do this for. I could not nor want to do this again. Thus I have changed my mind about remarriage. I would not remarry.
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