Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You don't need that in your life. Good luck to you and I hope you can move forward.
Thanks. This is going to be tough road for me, but I just can't live like this anymore. I'm starting to question myself and my abilities. I'm tired of being cut down at every turn. He's in his own little world and there is no room for me. I don't deserve to be laughed at when I suggest ideas for our finances. (I have an MBA for pete's sake!) I don't have "Puerto Rican" style - whatever that is. He says I like tacky shoes and have no sense of style.
I'm not "lazy, selfish, and mentally ill." Yes, I've been tired lately but that's from being depressed. I DO have a sense of humor, but when I try to make a witty remark or joke, there is no response from him. I ask if he heard me, and he says "Yeah, but it's not funny." Gee, thanks.
My brother's wife says she doesn't want to talk to him because " 'John' makes me feel this big." So I went ahead and told him what she said and his response was horrifying. He said "Feelings like that aren't based on logic and don't deserve to be acknowledged."
I have NO idea what I ever saw in this man.
One thing is for sure - if I ever find a decent man who pays attention to me (just a hug is all I ask at this point) and really cares, I will be in a strange new world. When I told my husband "I'm lonely and just want a hug from you" he said "You get what you deserve."
I really do feel sorry for the man because I believe he doesn't even see that he is doing anything wrong. I think it all stems from his childhood, which was a mess and he was basically on his own/ alone from age 11 on. He has a lot of issues from that.
However, I'm only 39 and I have my whole life ahead of me. I cannot and will not be subjected to this anymore. I've already gone back and forth so many times over the last 3 years. I would rather be alone and able to feel like myself again.
It's a very tough time, but it's not the end of the world by any stretch. I actually feel good since I finally found what I believe to be the issue here. I was dancing to music in the kitchen yesterday and smiling for the first time in a long time. (of course, he says I "hate music" whatever that means.) I just have to laugh at the absurdity of it all these days.
Acky (spelling?), tired, and irritable (due to R.A.)
Yet I feel proud of myself for walking over 2 miles today (necessity)- with the pain.
Also feeling relieved because I'm home, it's quiet, and there are no dummies (rude people) around.
Thanks. This is going to be tough road for me, but I just can't live like this anymore. I'm starting to question myself and my abilities. I'm tired of being cut down at every turn. He's in his own little world and there is no room for me. I don't deserve to be laughed at when I suggest ideas for our finances. (I have an MBA for pete's sake!) I don't have "Puerto Rican" style - whatever that is. He says I like tacky shoes and have no sense of style.
I'm not "lazy, selfish, and mentally ill." Yes, I've been tired lately but that's from being depressed. I DO have a sense of humor, but when I try to make a witty remark or joke, there is no response from him. I ask if he heard me, and he says "Yeah, but it's not funny." Gee, thanks.
My brother's wife says she doesn't want to talk to him because " 'John' makes me feel this big." So I went ahead and told him what she said and his response was horrifying. He said "Feelings like that aren't based on logic and don't deserve to be acknowledged."
I have NO idea what I ever saw in this man.
One thing is for sure - if I ever find a decent man who pays attention to me (just a hug is all I ask at this point) and really cares, I will be in a strange new world. When I told my husband "I'm lonely and just want a hug from you" he said "You get what you deserve."
I really do feel sorry for the man because I believe he doesn't even see that he is doing anything wrong. I think it all stems from his childhood, which was a mess and he was basically on his own/ alone from age 11 on. He has a lot of issues from that.
However, I'm only 39 and I have my whole life ahead of me. I cannot and will not be subjected to this anymore. I've already gone back and forth so many times over the last 3 years. I would rather be alone and able to feel like myself again.
It's a very tough time, but it's not the end of the world by any stretch. I actually feel good since I finally found what I believe to be the issue here. I was dancing to music in the kitchen yesterday and smiling for the first time in a long time. (of course, he says I "hate music" whatever that means.) I just have to laugh at the absurdity of it all these days.
I hope you don't have kids together. 39 is young and you should not have to put up with that BS. My Husband is 39 and I am 41 and we treat each other with respect. Even though he did not have the greatest childhood either he always treats me and my mom great. He has learned not to let the past dictate who he is today. I hope you are planning on leaving him because that's the only way you are going to be free and happy.There are plenty of other Nice fish in the sea.
Thanks. This is going to be tough road for me, but I just can't live like this anymore. I'm starting to question myself and my abilities. I'm tired of being cut down at every turn. He's in his own little world and there is no room for me. I don't deserve to be laughed at when I suggest ideas for our finances. (I have an MBA for pete's sake!) I don't have "Puerto Rican" style - whatever that is. He says I like tacky shoes and have no sense of style.
I'm not "lazy, selfish, and mentally ill." Yes, I've been tired lately but that's from being depressed. I DO have a sense of humor, but when I try to make a witty remark or joke, there is no response from him. I ask if he heard me, and he says "Yeah, but it's not funny." Gee, thanks.
My brother's wife says she doesn't want to talk to him because " 'John' makes me feel this big." So I went ahead and told him what she said and his response was horrifying. He said "Feelings like that aren't based on logic and don't deserve to be acknowledged."
I have NO idea what I ever saw in this man.
One thing is for sure - if I ever find a decent man who pays attention to me (just a hug is all I ask at this point) and really cares, I will be in a strange new world. When I told my husband "I'm lonely and just want a hug from you" he said "You get what you deserve."
I really do feel sorry for the man because I believe he doesn't even see that he is doing anything wrong. I think it all stems from his childhood, which was a mess and he was basically on his own/ alone from age 11 on. He has a lot of issues from that.
However, I'm only 39 and I have my whole life ahead of me. I cannot and will not be subjected to this anymore. I've already gone back and forth so many times over the last 3 years. I would rather be alone and able to feel like myself again.
It's a very tough time, but it's not the end of the world by any stretch. I actually feel good since I finally found what I believe to be the issue here. I was dancing to music in the kitchen yesterday and smiling for the first time in a long time. (of course, he says I "hate music" whatever that means.) I just have to laugh at the absurdity of it all these days.
He sounds pretty callous and rude to you from your description, I don't blame you for getting plenty tired of that kind of treatment. Do you still love him? Would he consider counseling? Is he different today than when you were dating and first married him? I do think people are too quick to jump to the d-word. "Good fish" are still pretty hard to find, just ask people that have been looking awhile. I'm always amazed at the number of people registered with online dating sites. There are lots of people alone and hoping they won't be for life. I hope things work out for you, what ever you decide to do.
Happy because I am getting together with my mom for the day. I see her at least 3 saturdays every month. I pick her up and we go shopping and out to lunch. Later on we are going to my friend's for dinner who I just reconnected with after 12 years apart. I reconnected with her in January of this year and my mom still has not had the chance to see her. So we were invited to dinner with my husband. We are best friends since 11th grade so that's 24 years. She hasn't changed one bit and hasn't aged either LOL. we are both 41 but she looks like she is in her 20's. My husband is happy we reconnected because for the past 12 years I have been talking about her. Her mom died last year of cervical cancer and it was 4 years of torture for her mom and she was going to try and reconnect with me 4 years ago but couldn't because she was in a bad place. She was married briefly but now she feels alone so I told her she was not alone that she had us and she was thankful. It should be alot of fun because we are both capricorns with same personality, likes and dislikes.
1717Guy...I like what you wrote awhile back ago about telling yourself how you want to feel when you wake-up in the morning...Good for you! Sometimes we just have to "take charge" and "rescue ourselves" from negative feelings. (Before we sink deeper and deeper into despair.)...What came first? The chicken or the egg? Are we simply at the "mercy" of feelings that pop-up inside of us? Or do we have the right and the power to "reprogram" ourselves?...Maybe it's about not wanting to be in denial about what we "feel." (What do you think?)...I'm definitely not an advocate of walking around in denial! I feel that it's my "job" to understand and process all of my feelings. And find solutions to my problems!...But it's easier to do this when I'm in a decent frame of mind. (And not a "mess" or total "sad sack!").. I don't want to assume the "worst" when I get up in the morning either. Or walk around in a "defeated state" before I even get out of bed! YUK!! So I like your way of "programming yourself" to be happy in the morning. Good for you! Thanks for your post!
lubby...Hope you have fun with your Mom and longtime friend! What are some Capricorn traits? Just curious! Have fun!!
Not sure but we like the same movies, foods, we love to laugh at stuff that others might think is stupid, warped senses of humor, same music interests, we can have fun no matter where we go or who we are with. She is the Sister I never had. I only have a brother.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
