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Thanksgiving is coming in three weeks and I am dreading it. We have to make the long drive to my wife's family and spend the long weekend there. It will be terrible if history is any indicator.
My wife's parents are cold and cruel to her and her sisters pick on her. My wife is too unsure of herself to fight back and just takes it. Her lack of confidence is one of the reasons she is picked on, she has a sign on her that says HIT ME!
I have discussed it with my wife and she is angry about how her parents and sisters treat her but says she is intimidated by them and is afraid to stand up for herself. I just go nuts sitting there watching her be abused and don't want to go to her family but we still go.
If you were in my shoes would you give her parents and sisters a piece of your mind or just sit and watch the abuse happen?
If it's that terrible, why are you going? I'm all for sucking it up for family togetherness especially if intentions are good, but if her family is actively hostile and the experience is entirely unpleasant, you'd be better off staying home and doing your own Thanksgiving.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 11-02-2012 at 10:13 AM..
I'm wondering the same fleetiebelle...to the OP, if she were my wife I ABSOLUTELY would DEMAND that they show my wife respect...I would definitely not just sit and watch them abuse the one I love....if they couldn't be at least civil to her, we'd beat a fast track outa there...though I doubt I'd even go to begin with.
snooper you sound as unsure of yourself as you say your wife is, otherwise I can't imagine a man going "nuts sitting there watching her be abused", and doing nothing about it...for me, that's really hard to understand, I'm not sure I ever could.
Yes, why ARE you going? If you already know the event is going to be awful and both of you are dreading it, why even bother? Does anyone think things will be different this time? If you are both so miserable with these people just tell them sorry, you can't make it. If they get mad, then tell them why you're not coming. It might be a tad cowardly but it could be easier to do this over the phone - at least then you can have the fun of hanging up on them.
Find something else to do that will give her a reason to say "that won't work for us." Surprise her with a romantic weekend at the shore (not the NY or Jersey side - those poor people ) or the mountains, if those geographic features are available. Or maybe a nice downtown location.
She can appreciate your thoughtfulness, you can have the fun of imagining the anger of her family
Poor folks, a Thanksgiving without their favorite sport: picking on your wife. I bet they won't enjoy the holiday
I can show you how to make a catapault out of a tablespoon and some mashed potatoes.
If you and your wife do go - personnally, I wouldn't - this is not a bad idea and sounds like something I would do. After all, it would deflect all the anger and hostility away from my wife and on to me. Then I could really tell them what I think.
We probably wouldn't be invited to anymore Thanksgivings - no big loss. But I sure would go out with a bang. Shoot, it would be the talk of my wife and kids for years - the day dad pelted grandma/grandpa and the aunts with mash potatoes!
It's hard to get caught up with the family dynamics you didn't grow up with. I stay out of my husbands dealings with his dysfunctional family. He is more than welcome to go visit the nut jobs if he wants to, that's his business. I choose not to and so does he. I would never stop him from participating in family holidays and I would prefer to stay home alone. Maybe you should do the same with your spouses family and she may choose to stay home with you and have a romantic holiday in place of the dysfunction.
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) or the mountains, if those geographic features are available. Or maybe a nice downtown location. 
