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I would also answer yes, I am around your age. There is a theory that older adults find their social lives getting narrower and they become more isolated. There are a lot of lonely people. I see this among 50+ age group instead of the 70+ age group of our parents when they got isolated. I think social media and computers fill the socialization gaps for many people, young and old. Life and jobs seem very stressful now and people are just emotionally drained when work is over, too drained to focus on friendships. And I see my friends as wanting to mostly hang around their grown kids and grandkids. I also think it is our culture, we have become more self centered and narcissistic. I think the answer is to try harder, go to meet ups, join social groups, volunteer, church groups, and just push past your own comfort zone. I do not consider a friend someone I don't talk to for long, long periods, maybe they were a good friend once and you still like/love them but this isn't a close relationship. Maybe call it an acquaintance though. I also find people our age are getting narrower in their emotional growth and they stop learning often. Or maybe they've had material success and have become arrogant.
Personally speaking, any lack of having friends has more to do with me than it really does with anybody else. In other words, to have a friend, you need to be a friend. That takes work and it's a job you have to, how can I say this....you almost have to apply for. An investment of your time. Sometimes there's no return on that investment, other times you've found a lifelong chum.
I am in my late 50s and so I've lived through a different time when neighbors, co-workers, even family seemed to put a high value on friendships.
Now it seems no one has time for even casual, genuine conversation, much less making new friends.
Then you have to watch everything you say and how you say it so as not to ''offend'' the ''pc'' mindsets that dominate everything.
Forget joking and a sense of humor and joy in life. Those attitudes don't fit in anymore either. It's all so dull and serious now.
I've always found it easy to get to know people and make friends, but no more. It's become like ''work'' with little reciprocity, so I find myself withdrawing from others and just becoming more of a loner.
It's just gottten this way for me within the last ten years or so. I just find it all so discouraging.
My spouse and I sometimes say we feel like we live on another planet than the one we spent most of our lives on.
Do any of you feel this way?
I'm in my mid-50s. Over the past couple of years, I've made a raft of new friends. How? I volunteered for an organization that I care passionately about. Now I'm on the board of directors, working and communicating with a great bunch of people on an almost daily basis. And making friends along the way.
I am in my early 30's and feel this way. Its almost too hard to be people's friend nowadays. Most people would rather send a series of short texts or play around on facebook instead of calling you on the phone or meeting in person. I HATE texting but almost all of my friends will only answer if i text, if they answer at all. I live far away from my family and my friends now that so I place high importance on friendships but my friends almost never contact me. If i don't constantly chase them around or ask to do something i would never hear from them.
I too feel the same way and I understand what you're saying 100%. I too don't and will never text.I am the type that I value friendship...always has BUT too many people are just addicted to all this technology that they don't want to even take the time to talk on the phone.I love to e-mail and I prefer to chat on the phone with someone.I don't do FB.
I say that if you have to chase your friends around...it's time to get rid of those people because they're not appreciating your friendship.I had to get rid of a lot of people whom I had thought were my friends for years but when I was going through a very hard time in my life...I didn't get an e-mail or didn't get a call from anyone...oh and I too would call them as well...
I say that one day they will wake up and realized that you're no longer around and by that it will be too late.People who value your friendship and don't have you chasing them but reaches out to you equally...is a good friend.
Some extroverts are socially stunted and actually don't have many friends. That's because they are extroverted in a weird way, so to speak.
I do find that people are more easily offended these days, than ever before.
We are living in times now that boggles my mind. EVERYTHING is way way to PC these days. Especially on college campuses. I've heard of lots of comedians that won't tour college campuses now because of the too hyper-PC culture these days.
Sad. But you know what, I don't give a crap, I'll still say what's on my mind.
Last edited by Chowhound; 07-24-2017 at 06:19 PM..
I am in my early 30's and feel this way. Its almost too hard to be people's friend nowadays. Most people would rather send a series of short texts or play around on facebook instead of calling you on the phone or meeting in person. I HATE texting but almost all of my friends will only answer if i text, if they answer at all. I live far away from my family and my friends now that so I place high importance on friendships but my friends almost never contact me. If i don't constantly chase them around or ask to do something i would never hear from them.
Oh same here. I don't text. Hate it. And people seem to not want to meet up in person anymore, go out to lunch, hang out. What happened to this?
Interesting to see that this thread got revived. I'm in my mid 30s and have found making friends to be such a huge chore. Everyone is so flaky these days. They don't answer calls or texts, people claim to be busy all the damn time, and the avenues for meeting people in smaller towns are slim unless you want to be a barfly.
Sad that I can't meet people and make new friends in public. The only way for me to make friends is to join some sort of a social club and move up in the ranks. Even if I did, people don't stick around and too many people come and go. (Happens at some jobs I worked at too).
What makes things worse is I live in a place where people prefer to hang out with those they went to high school with, went to church with, live on the same block with, work with, and grew up with. They don't socialize and interact with people outside their network.
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