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Am I the only one who still has an easy time making friends?
I don't think I'm naturally talented at it. I'm pretty introverted, actually. You just have to look for people who share your interests --- or have some other reason to value you more than any other random person walking down the street --- and make a point of seeing them persistently so they remember you. It helps to add them on social media and interact with their posts a lot.
I don't know. The last person I stalked managed to get away.
Am I the only one who still has an easy time making friends?
I don't think I'm naturally talented at it. I'm pretty introverted, actually. You just have to look for people who share your interests --- or have some other reason to value you more than any other random person walking down the street --- and make a point of seeing them persistently so they remember you. It helps to add them on social media and interact with their posts a lot.
You're in the minority, I think. I find social media to be zero help and make things worse. Maybe I just don't feel like spending the time on it. I know I don't care to post all aspects of my "perfect" life on facebook. Looking for people who share your interests. Yeah, it used to be easier to find those people, at least for me. Now even when I do find them, nobody will commit to plans. Its always "yeah, lets do that sometime", which of course never comes. I'm not going to be the one always asking to hang out. I'm not going to beg for anyone's friendship. Its a weird world these days.
I will chime in here. I've been a loner for my entire life. I'm married, which is very nice, and have a few friends, but not much beyond that. About 6 years ago I stopped trying for a social life and put all of my efforts into my hobbies (which is mainly hiking, plus a few other things). I also put a lot of time into my son's Scout troop and some volunteer efforts. Other than that, there is youtube - there's so much great stuff there, and reading. The radio is also great for entertainment. I am busy enough that don't have time for a big social life. Call me content if not 100% happy. Some of you people really need to get off the computer and go do something. Hanging around on here complaining about being lonely - isn't going to fix the problem.
I will chime in here. I've been a loner for my entire life. I'm married, which is very nice, and have a few friends, but not much beyond that. About 6 years ago I stopped trying for a social life and put all of my efforts into my hobbies (which is mainly hiking, plus a few other things). I also put a lot of time into my son's Scout troop and some volunteer efforts. Other than that, there is youtube - there's so much great stuff there, and reading. The radio is also great for entertainment. I am busy enough that don't have time for a big social life. Call me content if not 100% happy. Some of you people really need to get off the computer and go do something. Hanging around on here complaining about being lonely - isn't going to fix the problem.
I would love to, but the Meniere's disease and destroyed shoulder keep me at home most of the time. I hate that, but it's my life right now.
Am I the only one who still has an easy time making friends?
I don't think I'm naturally talented at it. I'm pretty introverted, actually. You just have to look for people who share your interests --- or have some other reason to value you more than any other random person walking down the street --- and make a point of seeing them persistently so they remember you. It helps to add them on social media and interact with their posts a lot.
I will chime in here. I've been a loner for my entire life. I'm married, which is very nice, and have a few friends, but not much beyond that. About 6 years ago I stopped trying for a social life and put all of my efforts into my hobbies (which is mainly hiking, plus a few other things). I also put a lot of time into my son's Scout troop and some volunteer efforts. Other than that, there is youtube - there's so much great stuff there, and reading. The radio is also great for entertainment. I am busy enough that don't have time for a big social life. Call me content if not 100% happy. Some of you people really need to get off the computer and go do something. Hanging around on here complaining about being lonely - isn't going to fix the problem.
And you still have a wife and kid in your life, so really you are not alone at home like the widowed, divorced, or single. You also assume a lot that is incorrect. Many of us have acquaintances and jobs and hobbies and interests. I, for one, am an introvert who enjoys my solitude and is rarely ever bored or lonely. I had a 30 year marriage and my mate was also an introvert and we struck a nice balance of togetherness and alone time.
This topic is about how making a close friend is more difficult now and it is interesting how different age groups are responding and sharing their experiences.
One thing that hasn't been mentioned is how the social settings themselves are declining. People aren't going out to places as much. Church attendance is down, delivery instead of shopping out and interacting, dwindling social activities like nightclubs, bowling, dance clubs, golfing, outdoor sports like bicycling or hiking, bookstores, malls, etc. People aren't out and about like they used to be.
I travel through neighborhoods all the time at all hours doing deliveries and I can't tell you the last time I have seen anyone outside in their yards doing anything. Gardening, washing their car, grilling, just setting outside. Kids or adults. When I was a kid in the 60s or 70s neighbors interacted all the time. Not now.
I am a very outgoing person and the people in my neighborhood that I know is because I have dogs and walk them. We meet and chat and our dogs interact and that brings contact between us. But beyond that I encounter people at the mailboxes and if you speak to them most act like you are aiming a death ray at them and they skitter off quickly.
The exceptions are the old farts like me who will chat about the weather or their health conditions or the local sports teams. I thank God for those little bits of human contact. Some of us have even shared phone numbers and text a bit, checking up on each other.
Last edited by HappyDogToday; 02-17-2020 at 01:07 AM..
But beyond that I encounter people at the mailboxes and if you speak to them most act like you are aiming a death ray at them and they skitter off quickly.
This. There was a time when you suspected that your neighbors differed from you politically or in regards to how they worshipped, but you still took them food when they were sick and talked over the fence or the garden. No more.
My circle of friends has really dwindled in the last 5 years; my underwear lasts longer. I recently ceased my association with two, so-called friends who - honestly - were too sorry to even set a date to meet at a restaurant to enjoy a meal. I mean, seriously, come on - how worthless and apathetic can you get? It's just not worth it anymore.
What is even more disturbing is the number of 20-somethings I encounter who report the same - they can't make friends, they don't have any friends, they have no one to call on, etc.
But beyond that I encounter people at the mailboxes and if you speak to them most act like you are aiming a death ray at them and they skitter off quickly.
This. There was a time when you suspected that your neighbors differed from you politically or in regards to how they worshipped, but you still took them food when they were sick and talked over the fence or the garden. No more.
My circle of friends has really dwindled in the last 5 years; my underwear lasts longer. I recently ceased my association with two, so-called friends who - honestly - were too sorry to even set a date to meet at a restaurant to enjoy a meal. I mean, seriously, come on - how worthless and apathetic can you get? It's just not worth it anymore.
What is even more disturbing is the number of 20-somethings I encounter who report the same - they can't make friends, they don't have any friends, they have no one to call on, etc.
JJ
This is both sad and a relief at the same time because at least I know its not just me experiencing this. I've given up completely on trying to maintain local friendships and only occasionally speak with my life long friends, none of whom live locally. Its very lonely, but it is what it is.
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