My brother needs $3500 to turn the power back on! (wealthy, relatives, Christmas)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If they had nothing to do with you before or treated you poorly? NO! No way!
IN my family, if you want something you earn it. If you aren't a good person and are a user, no way!
We help and support each other - meaning EACH OTHER. Not one-sided. If I got a lot of money, I'd help those who supported me when I needed it - not those who crawled out from under a rock and only cared about my money.
I would not support those who had nothing to do with me just because they shared my name or blood
NO - you are NOT "obligated" unless they helped you buy the lottery ticket, or you owe them money.
You do not owe your adult children unless they have been there for you, or worked for you, or have been good/unselfish and taken care of you.
Best friends? Unless they have really been there for you, no.
Anyone "expecting it", heck no. If anyone approached me demanding a pay out for simply knowing me I'd tell them to hit the road!
If you do loan him the money you are a fool. A) He didn't pay you the last time B) he is behind on regular expenses like electric, and C) you have yourself to think of first. What makes you think he will EVER be in a position to repay your loan ? He won't and you might as well kiss the money goodbye, until the next time he hits you up.
I know family is family and all that stuff, but he is a loser and a taker. All you are doing is enabling him to keep living the same way, instead of teaching him to stand on his own two feet. Tell your Dad you simply do not have it, end of story.
I don't think you are obligated to help family members because you have money and they do not. Especially if the reason they don't have any money is because they constantly make poor financial decisions. I have an aunt like this - she just doesn't seem to want to work and because someone is always there to step in and help her out, she doesn't have to. I think a lot of the reason someone steps in is because of the kids. It isn't their fault their parents can't manage money.
I think the only way I would step in is if I had enough money that 3500 was no big amount of money to me, and then I would only do it if I had small nieces and nephews that were going to be affected.
[quote=HumanNature;29988852]My brother is in financial trouble and now he needs $3500 to turn the power back on in his home.
He had not paid the bill over the longest time and got a winter hardship while they could not shut off his power due to the cold weather law. With penalties it is now $3500 to turn the power back on.
Last time he got into financial trouble he nearly lost his only family car when the bank said he has a few hours to catch up on his payments or they would tow the car away.
Growing up I never had anything to do with this brother. Now as an adult he generally does not speak to me and he lives 400 miles away so we only see each other on Christmas. I don't remember ever having a real conversation with him.
When he borrowed money from me last time he stopped paying me after a few small payments and would not acknowledge me when I asked him about his debt.
Now that he needs even more money he is smart enough to not ask me directly, he has our father to do the dirty work. My father said I owe him help because he is desperate and I am the only person who has the money in the family to save his family of five from living in the dark.
Do I really owe it to him to bail him out again because he is family and my wife and I have money?[/quote]
No.
My husband and I needed to borrow some money from my siblings on two occasions. The first was when my husband had cancer and was unable to work for quite a few months and then later when he had another serious health issue. Both times he nearly died and I needed to take off of work to help him. The situation was different as I/we signed legal loan documents and promptly repaid all of the money plus interest to my siblings as soon as we could manage it. The other difference is that my family is very close. If something happened to one of them my husband and I would be right there helping out in any way that we could help.
I predict that if your dad guilt's you into "loaning" your brother the money not only will you never be repaid the money but your brother will be asking for more money for something else in a few months or a year.
My advice is to not loan/give him the money and do not feel quilty about it. You can tell your father that you mayhavefelt differently if your brother had promptly repaid the money that you had loaned to him on a previous occasion, but he did not pay it back and ius now even pretending that he doesn't owe it to you.
How much do you want to bet that brother told his/your dad that all of the borrowed money was promptly repaid to you?
Last edited by germaine2626; 06-12-2013 at 02:17 PM..
Location: Formerly Pleasanton Ca, now in Marietta Ga
10,351 posts, read 8,567,170 times
Reputation: 16693
I would like to borrow 3500 from you too. Remember I have never stiffed you on past debts!
:0)
Really-tell dad he owes it to him because he raised him.
I find it fascinating that you posted them at almost exactly the same time.
Thanks for noticing! I wanted perspectives on two boards of people.
Yes my husband was given a relatively large amount of money recently and 98% of it went straight to retirement accounts, but my family and friends think we are rich now and we got lots of grief for not supporting them.
I understand their utility bill was about $350 a month and they stopped paying it during the late Summer of 2012. By the time the utility company started talking about shutting off service the cold weather season had arrived and they could not shut off power due to a law that said no power could be shut off during the winter. Once the weather turned warm again in late Spring, the law allowed them to shut off power again. So while he was protected all winter he still got bills which included tons of penalties.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I need money too please, I am behind on my bills.
