My brother needs $3500 to turn the power back on! (abuse, business, father)
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Yeah but look, what's funny is he didn't even ask - -their father did the asking! So that's what's the big slap in the face. But OP is still considering it! Yikes!
Why would I even consider it? Well for the following reasons:
My father made a personal appeal to me
Family harmony. If I say no next Christmas will be a living hell
The kids are going to be messed up living in a house without power. One is in as senior in High School and has potential to be someone. I am afraid living in house without power will put him over the edge and ruin his future.
We have the money
I am a coward and will run the conversation with my Mom and Dad through my head a thousand times while I try to sleep if I don't pay the money.
I agree you'd just be enabling him but if you insist on doing something.. can't you find out what the minimum the power company would accept?
Or can he get on a payment plan and you help with the first payment?
If you do decide to pay, ask your father for the bill so you could pay it yourself. It would be interesting to see how your father reacts if the bill is a lot smaller than what your brother said.
To answer your question: NO. Don't loan him the money. Give it if you wish, because you won't see any of it back. Something doesn't add up though. Where do these people live, the North Pole? Power off since Winter and some law saying they can't cut off power during the Winter. We're now well into Summer (temperature-wise anyway) and so they can finally cut off the power. What kind of scam is that power company running?? Even here in Texas where our electric bills are so high in Summer, only 6 months at $300 would be $1800, yet it is really going to take $3500 to turn back on the power? I don't buy it. And I certainly wouldn't give money to anyone so irresponsible after that many months.
Lots of places have laws that prevent a utility company from shutting off the power if there is extreme cold or extreme heat or the temp is below or above a certain level, etc.
In my city (San Antonio) they will not shut you off during an official heat advisory, when the heat index is at 105 degrees or higher. Once it drops down to 104 you bet they will shut it off though!
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
No, I wouldn't do it. Tell him to go with another power company, or figure it out for himself.
I am not saying the OP should or shouldn't pay but just pointing out that in many places there is no option to go with another power company.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdnirene
If you do decide to pay, ask your father for the bill so you could pay it yourself. It would be interesting to see how your father reacts if the bill is a lot smaller than what your brother said.
I agree, and I would take it a step further, personally, and ask for the necessary info to be able to pay it directly yourself to the electric company.
Why would I even consider it? Well for the following reasons:
My father made a personal appeal to me
Family harmony. If I say no next Christmas will be a living hell
The kids are going to be messed up living in a house without power. One is in as senior in High School and has potential to be someone. I am afraid living in house without power will put him over the edge and ruin his future.
We have the money
I am a coward and will run the conversation with my Mom and Dad through my head a thousand times while I try to sleep if I don't pay the money.
If you are inclined to pay it I would do it directly to the power company. I get that you feel you should help since you have the means. Just don't ever expect it back or the other loan. You also need to find a way to say no in the future or you WILL be asked for something again.
Not having power will not ruin his future. I grew up in a rural area and my best friend lived in Big Sur without electricity or an indoor shower. She and her sister grew up to be very productive members of society. Their situation wasn't driven by lack of $$, her parents were hippies. I don't mean this as an insult, but you seem VERY easy to guilt into doing something and believe me, this hasn't been lost on your family.
Why would I even consider it? Well for the following reasons:
My father made a personal appeal to me
Family harmony. If I say no next Christmas will be a living hell
The kids are going to be messed up living in a house without power. One is in as senior in High School and has potential to be someone. I am afraid living in house without power will put him over the edge and ruin his future.
We have the money
I am a coward and will run the conversation with my Mom and Dad through my head a thousand times while I try to sleep if I don't pay the money.
So you basically will pay for family harmony at Christmas? You could take your immediate family to a tropical locale for Christmas for $3500. Yes, it sounds like you are a coward. What's next - a $5000 bill for gas? Or next after that? It will just keep going until you are out of money and can no longer afford to pay to have a family. Then you will be dropped. All the while, he will just think you are a sucker. Here's a quick answer - "We no longer have the money." What is difficult about that? Not sure why you have the need to let your family in on your finances.
What about being a Big Brother to a deserving kid? Money better spent.
I have a brother who is a disabled vet. I send money from time to time, especially if I hear there is a problem. He never asks. It's a gift, not a loan. Simply because I love him, I am able to, and the country has done wrong by its vets (he certainly deserves better). That doesn't sound like your brother at all.
One of my friends is in a deep, crippling depression because of a conundrum generated by relatives he should never have had in the first place (from his Mom's inter-class/interracial second marriage). One of his half-sisters from that unfortunate marriage generated crisis after crisis - generally involving needs for money.
My friend quickly learned that helping her only encouraged her to GENERATE another crisis.
It wasn't the wayward Sister's fault, because her relatives on her bad side had been raping and torturing her since she was a toddler (as is common in that 'community'). This is why my friend felt so guilty. However, he had the sense to reason it out that since others had been doing all the raping and torturing, those others (two of whom had serious money) should be responsible for cleaning up their own mess.
He basically just decided, one day, that the sister no longer existed. He shredded letters from mutual friends without opening them. He did not return her phone calls.
The wayward sister's Father, once a very affluent small industrialist, ended up dying penniless. Part of the drain on his estate had been the psychiatric/medical/legal bills generated by the daughter he had allowed his son and third wife to rape and torture.
The wayward sister had always expected to inherit millions when "daddy died". Consequently, as is very common among the children of wealthy abusing parents, she had lived her life as a profligate aesthete. Once she'd finally gotten a degree, it was in a worthless field, and she was unable to make much of a living. Once she was middle-aged and ugly (booze & ciggies...), she couldn't get well-paying waitressing jobs, anymore, or find men to live off of. Learning that there was no estate at all was the final straw for her, and she went completely insane.
My friend was deaf to all reports that his sister was gravely ill. He'd long hoped never to see her again. He was simply burned-out on her incessant neediness. She was like a black hole, into which money and energy and life force simply disappeared. Anyway, he got his wish, and she died in some horrible way, without his having spoken to or seen her for eighteen years.
Now, his guilt is overwhelming. But what else could he have done? "The second she heard from you, she would start thinking up some 'emergency', in order to get money out of you. Not only could you not be nice to her: you simply could not be in contact with her."
Anyway, the OP's brother seems worse, to me, because he has brought three children into this world. How presumptuous! At least my friend's wayward sister was unselfish enough to have not magnified and perpetuated her misery by having babies. Responsible people without lucrative jobs do not have more than one child. Many have no children at all. And while "the village" is free to raise OP's brother's three brats if it wants to, OP is free to opt-out on being part of that "village".
OP's brother needs to be sterilized. And I sense that he, like my friend's wayward sister, is a black hole which exists to suck up other people's money/energy/productivity.
OP has to cut him off, and ignore family members who counsel otherwise. It's a tough choice, though.
If your father wants it paid, let him pay it. I have never heard of an electric company letting a residential bill get up to $3,500. This whole story sounds like pure fantasy to me.
One of my friends is in a deep, crippling depression because of a conundrum generated by relatives he should never have had in the first place (from his Mom's inter-class/interracial second marriage).
Why would I even consider it? Well for the following reasons:
My father made a personal appeal to me
Family harmony. If I say no next Christmas will be a living hell
The kids are going to be messed up living in a house without power. One is in as senior in High School and has potential to be someone. I am afraid living in house without power will put him over the edge and ruin his future.
We have the money
I am a coward and will run the conversation with my Mom and Dad through my head a thousand times while I try to sleep if I don't pay the money.
For the highlighted reasons above, you should help. It's family. Your brother never did anything bad to you, did he? Even if he did, your nephews and nieces are innocent and they are your family members, right? Can't you do it for the kids?
I think, deep down, you know what the right thing is to do here.
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