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Why does your father expect you to loan/give him the money? Are there dependent children involved? How did he get so behind? Did he lose a job? Did he quit a job? So many unanswered questions.
If you choose to help, please know that you might be able to negotiate some sort of arrangement with the power company. They will often turn on the power if the customer comes up with a percentage of the bill. I'd try to do that, and I'd pay the company directly. If that is what you decide to do. I would not give him the amount he says he owes. No way.
And you have to tell him that you can't afford to do this again.
My father said I owe him help because he is desperate and I am the only person who has the money in the family to save his family of five from living in the dark.
Do I really owe it to him to bail him out again because he is family and my wife and I have money?
No, you are not responsible for your brother. If daddy wants to continue to enable him, let daddy do so. it's time for brother to suffer the consequences of his bad choices. That is sometimes the only way some people learn how to be responsible.
My brother is in financial trouble and now he needs $3500 to turn the power back on in his home.
He had not paid the bill over the longest time and got a winter hardship while they could not shut off his power due to the cold weather law. With penalties it is now $3500 to turn the power back on.
Last time he got into financial trouble he nearly lost his only family car when the bank said he has a few hours to catch up on his payments or they would tow the car away.
Growing up I never had anything to do with this brother. Now as an adult he generally does not speak to me and he lives 400 miles away so we only see each other on Christmas. I don't remember ever having a real conversation with him.
When he borrowed money from me last time he stopped paying me after a few small payments and would not acknowledge me when I asked him about his debt.
Now that he needs even more money he is smart enough to not ask me directly, he has our father to do the dirty work. My father said I owe him help because he is desperate and I am the only person who has the money in the family to save his family of five from living in the dark.
Do I really owe it to him to bail him out again because he is family and my wife and I have money?
You don't owe him jack. He is using you and if you bail him out again you are enabling him and he will continue to do this. As long as he knows you will bail him out he will not be responsible and not stand on his own 2 feet. Tell him you are sorry but you can no longer do this and wish him the best. I can't believe he has the nerve to not even talk to you unless he needs money, what a user.
$3500.00 is quite abit for electric bill. Do you know when he last paid his bill ? My last electric bill here in so.ca (may 2013) was $13.00. The highest summer bill for me will be around $20.00 (incl the 20% care discount).
My brother is in financial trouble and now he needs $3500 to turn the power back on in his home.
He had not paid the bill over the longest time and got a winter hardship while they could not shut off his power due to the cold weather law. With penalties it is now $3500 to turn the power back on.
Last time he got into financial trouble he nearly lost his only family car when the bank said he has a few hours to catch up on his payments or they would tow the car away.
Growing up I never had anything to do with this brother. Now as an adult he generally does not speak to me and he lives 400 miles away so we only see each other on Christmas. I don't remember ever having a real conversation with him.
When he borrowed money from me last time he stopped paying me after a few small payments and would not acknowledge me when I asked him about his debt.
Now that he needs even more money he is smart enough to not ask me directly, he has our father to do the dirty work. My father said I owe him help because he is desperate and I am the only person who has the money in the family to save his family of five from living in the dark.
Do I really owe it to him to bail him out again because he is family and my wife and I have money?
He is your blood. You pay. You smile. And you get to know him better.
This isn't even a question.
You don't think he's worth $3500? That's pennies.
You should offer him money advice, something for ya'll to do while you're getting to know each other. You get to know your brother better and he stops hitting you up for cash. Win-win.
And, I agree with a previous poster....you don't loan him the money, you give it to him and you don't expect it back.
No and you'd actually be doing your brother a favor by not giving him a penny. My mom's older sister was just like your brother; couldn't hold a steady job, bad at managing her finances, and always coming to my mom (actually my dad since my mom stopped working when I was 4) for money. Eventually my mom put her foot down and stopped her financial support. Not only did my aunt finally learn to be financially responsible, she actually managed to save up money for her retirement one day.
When he called me a few years ago to get the money to bail him out before he nearly lost his car, I was surprised he called me. I had never talked to him on the phone to chat one on one. He started the conversation so friendly and nice and I remember thinking how nice of conversalist he could be and why didn't he and I have a nice sibling relationship. We talked for maybe 20 minutes about regular things and it was going great then he changed the subject to the problems he had paying for his car and how he would lose it someone didn't help him. He said it would be a loan and he promised to pay 1/10th of the amount per month by the first of every month.
He was so nice and I was so desperate to have a regular sibling relationship with him that I agreed. I wired him the money. He did send me two payments and then he stopped and I did not hear from him again. When I saw him at Christmas I asked him nicely about our loan and he would not give me the time of day. Now two years later he has our father ask me for the money, this time $3500 and it is a gift not a loan.
So you think I should try to get to know him and become friendly?
Quote:
Originally Posted by dub dub II
He is your blood. You pay. You smile. And you get to know him better.
This isn't even a question.
You don't think he's worth $3500? That's pennies.
You should offer him money advice, something for ya'll to do while you're getting to know each other. You get to know your brother better and he stops hitting you up for cash. Win-win.
And, I agree with a previous poster....you don't loan him the money, you give it to him and you don't expect it back.
I have read a lot of stories about people who gained sudden wealth and they think they can buy love or friendship from people by "helping them out" Trouble was no matter what they gave to family or friends it was never enough for them and they were so angry at the newly rich friend or relative that they were greedy and kept most of their money and did not give it to them.
There is lots of stories about professional athletes who are broke a few years after finishing their careers because they gave most of their money to friends and family and then when they go bankrupt the friends and family won't have anything to do with them because the gravy train is over.
$3500.00 is quite abit for electric bill. Do you know when he last paid his bill ? My last electric bill here in so.ca (may 2013) was $13.00. The highest summer bill for me will be around $20.00 (incl the 20% care discount).
Our summer electric bills, in Wisconsin for a small condo, are usually about $250 a month. During a heat wave they were just under $300. In the winter our bills are about $200 a month. So $3,500 including penalties didn't seem like he was lying as it could have been the correct amount..
Now, on the other hand, your figures seem pretty suspicious. Are you in a time warp and living in 1972?
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