My brother needs $3500 to turn the power back on! (spouse, dynamics, compulsive)
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Cut em' off, otherwise you just enable his bad spending behavior. I have a brother, through a number of bad decisions, owes somewhere between 50-100k. I loaned him $500 2 years ago and he is hinting at asking for more. My response will be what happened to the loan before in 2011? Repay me and we can talk.
Do you keep lending a neighbor tools that doesn't return them, no you don't.
My mother is in fine financial shape and wants for nothing. I would not give her any money especially since I'm pretty sure it'd end up in my brother's pocket. No thanks.... he's taken quite enough already. I would give my very financially responsible kids a big huge check each and be glad to do so.
No way would I give him a cent. I have a brother like yours and it's always something. He does his "woe is me" shtick on my mother and she falls for it every time. She refers to him as "Poor ________" since he has such bad luck without ever recognizing that his "luck" is directly related to his most recent screw up. I foresee a future where he blows the funds she'll leave him in her estate and then he'll start to call me to bail him out. Gonna be a rude awakening for him at that point.
My brother is in financial trouble and now he needs $3500 to turn the power back on in his home.
He had not paid the bill over the longest time and got a winter hardship while they could not shut off his power due to the cold weather law. With penalties it is now $3500 to turn the power back on.
Last time he got into financial trouble he nearly lost his only family car when the bank said he has a few hours to catch up on his payments or they would tow the car away.
Growing up I never had anything to do with this brother. Now as an adult he generally does not speak to me and he lives 400 miles away so we only see each other on Christmas. I don't remember ever having a real conversation with him.
When he borrowed money from me last time he stopped paying me after a few small payments and would not acknowledge me when I asked him about his debt.
Now that he needs even more money he is smart enough to not ask me directly, he has our father to do the dirty work. My father said I owe him help because he is desperate and I am the only person who has the money in the family to save his family of five from living in the dark.
Do I really owe it to him to bail him out again because he is family and my wife and I have money?
NOPE.........consider the first loan a gift and forget about it after that you are NOT OBLIGATED to anyone to bail them out financially. THEY are obligated to learn how to properly handle their finances to take care of themselves and their families.
Tell your Father that you will NOT be giving any money to anyone because you have your own family to take care of as well as financial responsibilities. Do NOT let him GUILT you into giving anyone money.
You don't owe anyone - the relative left that money to you and not anyone else. I would tell anyone with a sob story to take a hike! But for my family that's been there for me I would definitely share. I know they would share with me if they struck it rich.
I agree with the other posters who say you do NOT have an obligation to give this to other family members UNLESS you wanted to and happy to do it without feeling any obligation.
As others also mentioned, if your relative wanted others to get it they would have left them something. While I do think it would be nice if it was a HUGE sum (multiple millions) to maybe do something special for those that were kind to you and you truly enjoy. NOT deadbeats that were annoying/mean before you had the money.
I have a friend in this situation. He sold a dot.com company back during the dot com days and he had about $50 million overnight. He had the same problem as you. Everyone and their brother (and their brothers!) came out of the wood work.
He and his wife gave the maximum tax free annual maximum to some of his family members. (I think at the time it was about $25,000 per year). He just told them that he would do it 3 years up to the maximum tax free amount and they could do whatever they wanted but shouldn't ask for anything beyond those 3 years. He said everyone except for a few were perfectly content with it.
If you decide to, set a maximum amount you want to spend on this type of stuff. I've seen people that came into windfalls and blew it all fairly quickly. You also hear about some people that win the lottery that blow it all and bankrupt fairly quickly. So be smart about it.
I've never been in a situation to inherit any money from relatives. But if I did, I think the first thing I'd do is change my phone number. LOL.
Struck it rich! Do you owe anything to family or friends?
On just that statement?...Short answer: NO!
Longer answer: I play everything up front, so I neither borrow nor lend. Hard times hit everyone and certainly that blanket answer isn't applicable to more complicated situations. But considering how I live my life and manage my relationships, for me the answer is simple: NO!
she definitely brought up to her family about the inheritance, which is a big mistake in my book. Makes me think of the Millionaire Next Door book. There are reasons, these people aren't flashy with their money. Because they'd prefer to stay wealthy.
My brother is in financial trouble and now he needs $3500 to turn the power back on in his home.
He had not paid the bill over the longest time and got a winter hardship while they could not shut off his power due to the cold weather law. With penalties it is now $3500 to turn the power back on.
Last time he got into financial trouble he nearly lost his only family car when the bank said he has a few hours to catch up on his payments or they would tow the car away.
Growing up I never had anything to do with this brother. Now as an adult he generally does not speak to me and he lives 400 miles away so we only see each other on Christmas. I don't remember ever having a real conversation with him.
When he borrowed money from me last time he stopped paying me after a few small payments and would not acknowledge me when I asked him about his debt.
Now that he needs even more money he is smart enough to not ask me directly, he has our father to do the dirty work. My father said I owe him help because he is desperate and I am the only person who has the money in the family to save his family of five from living in the dark.
Do I really owe it to him to bail him out again because he is family and my wife and I have money?
People cannot dictate what you do or do not do with YOUR hard earned or newly acquired money. If your father is so concerned tell him to open his wallet. Aside from that since your brother only knows you when he needs money, I would suggest that he become very familiar with flashlights and candles and tell him good day.
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