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How old was the person at the time? Are we to hold children responsible for ignorant, childish behavior for the rest of their lives? Should they be punished by disease or death?
No. You forgive and try to understand. They were going through something too.
How would I feel is so different than what would I think.
Feel?
That, wow everything I have learned since the 70s seems to be true...one
being anger and cancer really do go together....pent up anger or expressed over
and over ...the nicest people who have cancer...have some deep anger in them A LOT!
So I would "feel" a confirmation in my gut.
Apply one of my favorite rules regarding life in general: Did you cause it? No. Can you fix it? No. Pity or guilt are out. You can pray for their recovery if you believe. I have to agree with Miss Hepburn in so far as lifelong anger and meaness can indeed cause health problems.
This same thing happened to me. Guy use to be one nasty pain in the butt to me in high school. He was just nasty and arrogant to begin with. Finally came to blows one day, nothing too serious, but it put an end to his harrassment. We had no interaction the rest of the time in school but he remained a dirtbag to all except his chosen hangers- on.
About 15+ years ago i find out he became a successful international banker. That was in his obituary where it stated he died of cancer. He was only around 40.
I didnt feel vindicated nor sorry. Sort of an empty non caring feeling. Unlike how i felt when one of the nicer classmates of mine died in the first Gulf War.
And just an aside...standing up to a bully usually ends it. When we got into our little fight he backed of. Of course thisvwas a time before schools would get crazy about two teenagers trading a few blows. Now they call the police, parents and school psychologists....that never stops the bully,
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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While I pity anyone who has a terminal cancer, I'd chalk my bullies' ailment up to the universe catching up with them. You cannot be that purposely cruel for years and have the capacity to know you are doing wrong which normal HS students have without consequences.
When I was a newly-married woman, my husband had a friend who consistently put me and others down; in fact, was unbelievably rude and abusive to his own parents and his then-wife. Never could understand why my husband considered him a good friend because "Tom" openly took advantage of my husband all the time at the same time he mocked him and made fun of him.
About a year ago, my daughter sent me Tom's obituary and apparently he had died of cancer. The obit described he had joined a church that he was active in and was evidently well thought of in his community and career. All I could say was something to the effect that it appeared he had gotten his life together, learned to appreciate people, was a positive and happy person. At the same time, I had a little feeling of "maybe he got what he deserved," and I'm not proud of feeling/thinking that, but it's the truth.
Location: NYC based - Used to Live in Philly - Transplant from Miami
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I would feel awful that the person got cancer - being diagnosed with cancer is not fun at all.
But I wouldn't lie that I will have a feeling of being "vindicated"
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