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On trails? Sometimes people just want to be left alone. There is a certain long bike/walk trail here and I'm telling you, it gets real old, real quick to have to acknowledge every person on the trail.
It's like riding a motorcycle and every other motorcycle on the road expects a wave from you. Yeah, it's ok when motorcycles were rarely seen on the roads, but now they are EVERYWHERE. Same concept. It gets tiring.
Some will say "that's mean." "gee, how unfriendly" "wow, you are un-neighborly!"
yeah. at first, it's not so bad. But after a while, the forced socializing, no matter how brief starts to wear on ya and you just start sort of ignoring folks as you walk or ride by. Sometimes people are just deep in thought, or they are in a zone when they are exercising (even walking), or they're just trying to meditate or something, and maybe there is no other good places for them but trails to be on so they decide to just, like I said, sort of ignore folks. I can guarantee you, for these people, it has ZERO to do with the color of your skin.
Old thread but we wave to all of our neighbors and vice versa
Same here. I usually live in small to extremely small rural towns, so most people know their neighbors pretty well. Being rural to remote, there's also an ingrained tradition to help each other with the knowledge that it will probably be reciprocated. Rude not to at least wave or say hello to someone who's helped you out of a pinch in the past.
In one tiny town, ordinary motor vehicle operation included a wave to a passing car. Even the index-finger-twitched-off-the-steering-wheel variety met the minimal requirement. You probably knew the occupants of the other car anyway. If you didn't wave, chances are the other person you'd invariably meet fairly soon afterward would ask you if anything was wrong! One odd little predictor that a newcomer wouldn't end up staying long was a refusal to unbend enough to wave or say hello.
Last edited by Parnassia; 09-05-2022 at 03:32 PM..
...I'd love to hear about how people in your neighborhood interact with each other, if at all.
I was born and raised in rural southwestern MI, and we were taught to greet people politely without being intrusive, speak when spoken to, and be respectful of everyone.
We moved into this working class neighborhood in '98 or '99. I walk daily. When I see people, my upbringing plays out. I smile, or nod if they are talking to someone, and go on my way. Some respond, most do not. Some actually glare at me, but I just figure they are having a bad day, or have something on their mind. I don't take it personally, and when I see them again, I greet them as usual. Often, if I encounter the same person a number of times, they will smile in return, and some actually speak. In which case I will make some inconsequential observation about the weather, and wish them a good day.
Now many people have started to smile and greet me before. It takes people awhile to decide that someone is safe to engage with without being sucked into some undesired attachment.
Met some neighbors out when I had a dog to walk. Many a chat transpired.
Because I'm in a transitional complex. Most are here for two or three years working contracting jobs... I get a glimpse of their lifestyles. Some enjoy biking or meandering around to comment on the gardens..
Had a few neighbors that became endearing. It was hard to get notice they passed. I still miss one in particular as she had a way with comforting when I endured a family loss. She seemed to instinctually know when I needed a kind word. I cried dearly when her niece called to say of her passing. I was glad that a few weeks before though I called her up and we had a tender talk on how I valued her compassion.
Had to gage folks though on being friendly without intrusive.
My next door neighbour I have said hello to all that have lived at that house, people keep coming and going. It's for sale again and the person no longer uses that house.
I was born and raised in rural southwestern MI, and we were taught to greet people politely without being intrusive, speak when spoken to, and be respectful of everyone.
We moved into this working class neighborhood in '98 or '99. I walk daily. When I see people, my upbringing plays out. I smile, or nod if they are talking to someone, and go on my way. Some respond, most do not. Some actually glare at me, but I just figure they are having a bad day, or have something on their mind. I don't take it personally, and when I see them again, I greet them as usual. Often, if I encounter the same person a number of times, they will smile in return, and some actually speak. In which case I will make some inconsequential observation about the weather, and wish them a good day.
Now many people have started to smile and greet me before. It takes people awhile to decide that someone is safe to engage with without being sucked into some undesired attachment.
In many areas, greeting neighbors on a walk takes friendly persistence. On my regular walks in a place where there are many people, I noticed a person saying hello to everyone. on observation, sometimes it can be startling to receive if it's unexpected or when in deep thought or when shy. On one occasion I was able to ask this person the success rate of the return greetings. About 50% was the answer.
Yes.
OP, I am sorry that they treat you so badly. I hope things have improved, since it has been awhile since your original post....or that maybe you moved to a different neighborhood with nicer people.
Same here. I usually live in small to extremely small rural towns, so most people know their neighbors pretty well. Being rural to remote, there's also an ingrained tradition to help each other with the knowledge that it will probably be reciprocated. Rude not to at least wave or say hello to someone who's helped you out of a pinch in the past.
In one tiny town, ordinary motor vehicle operation included a wave to a passing car. Even the index-finger-twitched-off-the-steering-wheel variety met the minimal requirement. You probably knew the occupants of the other car anyway. If you didn't wave, chances are the other person you'd invariably meet fairly soon afterward would ask you if anything was wrong! One odd little predictor that a newcomer wouldn't end up staying long was a refusal to unbend enough to wave or say hello.
When I first moved to a rural community in VA, the one finger off the steering wheel wave was the norm. I found it so novel that I called my mom in Baltimore and told her about it. After a pause, her response was "Are you sure it's the index finger?". People in town here still do it as well, and wave to let someone go ahead in traffic too (at least I do) as well as waving thanks for getting a spot in a line of traffic. Maybe it's because a lot of the town people come from the more rural areas, which are just outside of town anyway in some parts.
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