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When I first moved to a rural community in VA, the one finger off the steering wheel wave was the norm. I found it so novel that I called my mom in Baltimore and told her about it. After a pause, her response was "Are you sure it's the index finger?". People in town here still do it as well, and wave to let someone go ahead in traffic too (at least I do) as well as waving thanks for getting a spot in a line of traffic. Maybe it's because a lot of the town people come from the more rural areas, which are just outside of town anyway in some parts.
I currently live in a newly built middle class neighborhood with nature trails and lakes abound for our leisure.
There's always a few people on these trails every day from stay at home moms to retired folks in the mornings and afternoons, and although they don't exactly live next door to me I feel as if they all regard me as a stranger that shouldn't be greeted. The lack of interaction seems more appropriate for a more impersonal environment like a bigger city where you're just getting to where you need to go and don't care about the many people you walk past.
Every single time i pass a neighbor on a trail I am always the one who greets them and asks how they are doing. Out of a few hundred instances that i've logged, only one time have they ever greeted me first. That one time was when an older woman biked past me from behind and didn't see my face.
I dress like every one else does around here but I am not caucasian, and this is mostly a caucasian neighborhood.
I'd love to hear about how people in your neighborhood interact with each other, if at all.
I’m a guy, and if I’m walking by myself in a suburban neighborhood:
1. People who are clearly exercising (running, power walking, etc.) usually do not greet.
2. Women who are in pairs or groups and are conversing will not greet.
3. Couples usually greet.
4. People with dogs usually greet.
5. Men are more likely than women to greet (this is not anything misogynistic; I would expect women to be more hesitant to greet out of concerns of being hit on or stalked).
If I have a dog with me, people are much more likely to greet.
I’m a guy, and if I’m walking by myself in a suburban neighborhood:
1. People who are clearly exercising (running, power walking, etc.) usually do not greet.
2. Women who are in pairs or groups and are conversing will not greet.
3. Couples usually greet.
4. People with dogs usually greet.
5. Men are more likely than women to greet (this is not anything misogynistic; I would expect women to be more hesitant to greet out of concerns of being hit on or stalked).
If I have a dog with me, people are much more likely to greet.
I’m a guy, and if I’m walking by myself in a suburban neighborhood:
1. People who are clearly exercising (running, power walking, etc.) usually do not greet.
2. Women who are in pairs or groups and are conversing will not greet.
3. Couples usually greet.
4. People with dogs usually greet.
5. Men are more likely than women to greet (this is not anything misogynistic; I would expect women to be more hesitant to greet out of concerns of being hit on or stalked).
If I have a dog with me, people are much more likely to greet.
You are pretty much spot on. My experiences are similar. Since I work from home most of the week now, I try to get out around noon for a quick walk (usually 30-40 min). I'm a guy too and I've noticed the same/similar patterns.
I find it particularly off-putting when I say "hello" and sometimes don't even get a response.
One difference I have found - if it's a younger couple - the female will typically say hi and the male will usually just stare. Not sure why, kind of weird.
And older couple will 9/10 times always say hello.
I currently live in a newly built middle class neighborhood with nature trails and lakes abound for our leisure.
There's always a few people on these trails every day from stay at home moms to retired folks in the mornings and afternoons, and although they don't exactly live next door to me I feel as if they all regard me as a stranger that shouldn't be greeted. The lack of interaction seems more appropriate for a more impersonal environment like a bigger city where you're just getting to where you need to go and don't care about the many people you walk past.
Every single time i pass a neighbor on a trail I am always the one who greets them and asks how they are doing. Out of a few hundred instances that i've logged, only one time have they ever greeted me first. That one time was when an older woman biked past me from behind and didn't see my face.
I dress like every one else does around here but I am not caucasian, and this is mostly a caucasian neighborhood.
I'd love to hear about how people in your neighborhood interact with each other, if at all.
I live in a Beaver-Cleaver looking close in older suburb in St. Louis. I walk an older dog 20 minutes before work each morning (pretty leisurely) and then do a 1/2 hour exercise walk prior to going online. I like you am at least 95% of the time the person who smiles and says hello first. I don't take it personally. I just figure it's my small town friendly midwestern upbringing that's different than my neighbors. They are friendly though and say hi back.
I've found having my dog with me vs. not having the dog with me makes a big difference. I highly recommend getting a dog for more social interaction on walks.
Interestingly enough on walking / hiking the only place where I think more people greet me first than I greet are our western national parks (especially active seniors -- just friendly, happy, chatty people).
I’m a guy, and if I’m walking by myself in a suburban neighborhood:
1. People who are clearly exercising (running, power walking, etc.) usually do not greet.
2. Women who are in pairs or groups and are conversing will not greet.
3. Couples usually greet. 4. People with dogs usually greet.
5. Men are more likely than women to greet (this is not anything misogynistic; I would expect women to be more hesitant to greet out of concerns of being hit on or stalked).
If I have a dog with me, people are much more likely to greet.
This is so true! I'm very shy around strangers but when I see anyone with a dog, I don't hesitate initiating conversation. I also enjoy walking my dog because every.single.time I see a person I would get a smile or small talk. I have a large Yellow English labrador so she catches a lot of attention. When it's another dog owner, that's a longer conversation
You are pretty much spot on. My experiences are similar. Since I work from home most of the week now, I try to get out around noon for a quick walk (usually 30-40 min). I'm a guy too and I've noticed the same/similar patterns.
I find it particularly off-putting when I say "hello" and sometimes don't even get a response.
One difference I have found - if it's a younger couple - the female will typically say hi and the male will usually just stare. Not sure why, kind of weird.
And older couple will 9/10 times always say hello.
I agree totally!
Your last comment about an older couple is spot on. Mostly due to how and when they were raised as children. I'm elderly and when I was young, I was taught to say hello to people as a common courtesy. I've always done it. Except now I do it just to force a response from those that go through life unaware or ignoring others they happen upon in their daily travels.
Much to my wife's dismay when we walk, if someone is on their cell, I purposely wave and say loudly, "Tell them I said hello".
Once a year I drive up and visit my brother and sister in law. Our visit is always the same, I go to their house, they feed me lunch (lasagna, salad and garlic bread) and then we drive (in their car) to a near by park for a leisurely walk.
My sister in law has this terribly annoying habit of speaking to everyone, every single person we encounter, on the trails. And it's not just a causal lift of the hand, smile or nod of the head to acknowledge. She has to look them in the eye and say "Hello how are you?" in a loud voice, making it almost impossible to ignore her (though many do). If there are two or more people together, she says it to each.
Since it's a busy park, the trails well frequented, she spends most of the walk doing this. It's REALLY annoying (my sister who sees them a lot more often said she gets annoyed by it too but has gotten used to it) I think many people are put off by it as well. It's beyond friendly, in my opinion, it's down right intrusive.
But that's her thing and I wouldn't dream of saying anything to her about it. I'm the chatter box during these visits, so I continue to chatter along ignoring her weird habit, as does my brother.
If you recognize your neighbor and cannot muster a simple, "Hello," it's a pretty safe assumption that you're a borderline sociopath. You don't have to be best friends or spend three minutes making small talk, but simply acknowledging your neighbor's presence just isn't hard to do.
If you recognize your neighbor and cannot muster a simple, "Hello," it's a pretty safe assumption that you're a borderline sociopath. You don't have to be best friends or spend three minutes making small talk, but simply acknowledging your neighbor's presence just isn't hard to do.
This is true, but it doesn't always work. Some of my current neighbors are very antisocial and judgmental so I leave them alone. We have one set who is normal and nice, the rest are either strange or negative and violent. And it's a nice neighborhood. Takes all kinds. I'd help them in an emergency, but I wonder if they would help us.
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