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I used to think that way too. But I think many people have this epiphany one day...
As you're walking down a crowded street, you're walking past countless people that have rich lives and experiences just like yours.
How would you know if you don't talk to them?
I have yet to meet a person that was a good conversationalist that could not make small talk. They think they can but they can't. I use to facilitate a conversation group and have seen it hundreds of times.
These people that only want to talk about important stuff crack me up. I could imagine how they start a conversation.
Oh probably they just have a problem talking to folks who are Retired Now that are 30 year old college students worried about their professors who get stared at in India while not saying hello to the receptionist in their company. Did I leave anything out?
I have yet to meet a person that was a good conversationalist that could not make small talk. They think they can but they can't. I use to facilitate a conversation group and have seen it hundreds of times.
These people that only want to talk about important stuff crack me up. I could imagine how they start a conversation.
I'm an optimist, I guess. I think it's possible to be interesting and suck at small talk (or just not like it).
Some people I've talked to don't like to talk about themselves or make small talk, but they have amazing stories. Each time is a new "is this made up?" type story, but then he brings out the photos or other indisputable proof. Almost every conversation ends with "why is this not in a book?" Do other people here know anyone like that?
Most books about introverts seem to explain the same thing: talking drains introverts, they "recharge" when alone. Extroverts are the opposite, they recharge with conversation, and get drained in solitude.
Not sure, didn't understand what you were saying! Gotta love run on sentences!
Retired Now is a poster who creates constant new identities, post a few topics with pretty much the same style, then drops the account. That run on sentence was a recap of all it's posts for that ID. Look back at the thread and you'll see several references to Retired Now as well as throughout the forum.
As an introvert I don't particularly like talking about meaningless things aka small talk. However I realise that other people do. What I have found works well is to say little but listen a lot. A comment here and there to make the other person feel at ease is usually enough and at the end of the interaction the talker leaves feeling like they had this long and wonderful conversation. And often people just need someone to listen to them.
Yes it is draining and I always make tome for myself to recharge. I also fortunately have friends who understand that I am this way and will sometimes act as a buffer for me at social gatherings to give me a little break.
As for whether or not I am interesting since I have so little to say. Well from what my friends tell me my life is actually pretty interesting. I never think about it as anything special but when I stop and think about it guess not many people have my particular combination of hobbies and work life.
I loathe small talk. It truly is draining and I am glaringly aware of it when I'm sitting there engaging in it. I have to try hard to not roll my eyes and just walk away.
Yet I understand it is a necessary evil in the professional world.
I'll usually mention the weather or ask where they're from and if I've been there I expound upon my trip there and allow them to talk about their hometown. .
Or because I work in education I'll ask if they have plans for any type of upcoming break i.e. Spring break, winter break, thanksgiving holidays, Summer break etc...
A lot of people on city-data on introverts, so this is not the best place to get REAL answers to this question. Small talk is just a good ice breaker. You can tell within 5 seconds if someone is going to talk to you at all, half do, half don't. It's really whatever, but a good way to meet friends.
A lot of people on city-data on introverts, so this is not the best place to get REAL answers to this question. Small talk is just a good ice breaker. You can tell within 5 seconds if someone is going to talk to you at all, half do, half don't. It's really whatever, but a good way to meet friends.
I agree, I was thinking the same thing. That city-data probably has a disproportionate amount of introverts. So it's hard to get an accurate guage.
Yes, making small talk can be a pain and kind of boring. But many times we must make small talk as part of our job, when meeting new people we want to know or get on their good side or at events with family or friends.
I am introduced to many people at these events and they are like talking to a wall. Incredibly weak at small talk. Some seem like they are trying but many don't understand how important small talk can be.
Why are so many people just lousy at small talk?
Small talk can be a learned skill for many. I went to a business meeting recently, and one of the speakers gave us a tip to remember when engaging in small talk.
FORD
Family
Occupation
Recreation
Dreams
If you talk about things related to those subjects, you can have decent conversations and usually not run out of things to talk about.:-)
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