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Either you believe parent's are masters and commanders of a child's personal life, or you have a problem with this lady having a love affair with a POC.
Either way, your post is like, wut????
No, we parents do not own our children.
I could be upset if my daughter were to date someone I know for a fact is a bad person.
But I cannot grasp at the notion I would be so upset at her for dating someone of a specific race and culture that I would disown her for it.
What kind of barbarian way of thinking is that? This is not a problem with Millenials (nor is it a Millenial think to feel love across race or culture.) Since when seeing people as equals is a Millenial thing? Maybe some people's book, but certainly not mine (and I'm sure as hell I am not a Millenial.)
Either you believe parent's are masters and commanders of a child's personal life, or you have a problem with this lady having a love affair with a POC.
Either way, your post is like, wut????
No, we parents do not own our children.
I could be upset if my daughter were to date someone I know for a fact is a bad person.
But I cannot grasp at the notion I would be so upset at her for dating someone of a specific race and culture that I would disown her for it.
What kind of barbarian way of thinking is that? This is not a problem with Millenials (nor is it a Millenial think to feel love across race or culture.) Since when seeing people as equals is a Millenial thing? Maybe some people's book, but certainly not mine (and I'm sure as hell I am not a Millenial.)
It is a problem with you. Seek help.
The facts are very clear.
She knew that getting with this Nigerian citizen will hugely upset her parents.
She did it anyway, despite the fact that she could easily find a white US citizen with decent background.
Her parents have friends, relatives, acquaintances, most of them I guess are conservative and old fashion like them. How they will look in their faces while telling them that their daughter is with a black person that impregnated her and even did not marry her? They are dying from embarrassment and shame, all their world collapsed, all their social connections are maybe dead now.
For me it's huge disrespect.
Yes, her parents are old fashion. But they are her parents. You cannot change them. They are old. And you need to respect them.
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
You can respect them without agreeing with their blatant racism. The OPs first family is now her fiance and her baby. She has to do what is best for them, in spite of her parents. If her parents are indeed embarassed and shamed, they dont deserve a relationship with the OP and her new family. The OP can forgive them; she doesnt have to agree with them, or welcome them back into her life. Thats quite a leap to think all her parents friends, relatives, and acquaintances believe the same as her parents do. Hard to believe there are still people like that in this world. But if she feels she can have a relationship with her mother now, she needs to tread cautiously, which Im sure she will. It sounds like her fiance is an amazing person. Perhaps with time, her mother will come to see what a great person he is. Im sure that baby will be adorable as well.
The facts are very clear.
She knew that getting with this Nigerian citizen will hugely upset her parents.
She did it anyway, despite the fact that she could easily find a white US citizen with decent background.
Her parents have friends, relatives, acquaintances, most of them I guess are conservative and old fashion like them. How they will look in their faces while telling them that their daughter is with a black person that impregnated her and even did not marry her? They are dying from embarrassment and shame, all their world collapsed, all their social connections are maybe dead now.
For me it's huge disrespect.
Yes, her parents are old fashion. But they are her parents. You cannot change them. They are old. And you need to respect them.
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
Extending your logic, the grandmother should not want to see the biracial baby (that already is growing in utero). Otherwise grandmother's friends, relatives, acquaintances, conservative and old fashion, will not understand it. She will die from embarrassment and shame, all her world will collapse, and all her social connections will be dead. The future grandmother should be sitting tight right now. But, she sends emails practically begging.
You can respect them without agreeing with their blatant racism. The OPs first family is now her fiance and her baby. She has to do what is best for them, in spite of her parents. If her parents are indeed embarassed and shamed, they dont deserve a relationship with the OP and her new family. The OP can forgive them; she doesnt have to agree with them, or welcome them back into her life. Thats quite a leap to think all her parents friends, relatives, and acquaintances believe the same as her parents do. Hard to believe there are still people like that in this world. But if she feels she can have a relationship with her mother now, she needs to tread cautiously, which Im sure she will. It sounds like her fiance is an amazing person. Perhaps with time, her mother will come to see what a great person he is. Im sure that baby will be adorable as well.
Oh the vast majority in my closest circles have no problem with it. My fiance gets along very well with my dad's older brother. When we have gone back to our hometown, we stay with them. And many of my other relatives have taken the same stance. They have welcomed my fiance and respect how hard he worked to get himself where he is. Many of them think my parents have been foolish. So I do find it funny when "mash" makes these brazen assumptions about the dynamics of my personal life, as if he or she were an all knowing soothsayer.
I also agree with you regarding my fiance and child coming first.
The facts are very clear.
She knew that getting with this Nigerian citizen will hugely upset her parents.
She did it anyway, despite the fact that she could easily find a white US citizen with decent background.
Her parents have friends, relatives, acquaintances, most of them I guess are conservative and old fashion like them. How they will look in their faces while telling them that their daughter is with a black person that impregnated her and even did not marry her? They are dying from embarrassment and shame, all their world collapsed, all their social connections are maybe dead now.
For me it's huge disrespect.
Yes, her parents are old fashion. But they are her parents. You cannot change them. They are old. And you need to respect them.
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
Respect is a two-way street.
She shouldn't have to base her dating life off what her parents think. Tough luck to them.
I just cannot imagine the suffering your parents went trough. How a person can be so selfish? Was this African person the only decent guy around? Are you living on a tiny island? Why did you do this to your parents who fed and sheltered and were awake at night when you were a screaming baby?
The selfishness of millennials is just amazing me every day.
Take your hatred and racism somewhere it will be accepted, like the Stormfront website.
The ignorance and vitriol of racists just sickens me every day.
The facts are very clear.
She knew that getting with this Nigerian citizen will hugely upset her parents.
She did it anyway, despite the fact that she could easily find a white US citizen with decent background.
Her parents have friends, relatives, acquaintances, most of them I guess are conservative and old fashion like them. How they will look in their faces while telling them that their daughter is with a black person that impregnated her and even did not marry her? They are dying from embarrassment and shame, all their world collapsed, all their social connections are maybe dead now.
For me it's huge disrespect.
Yes, her parents are old fashion. But they are her parents. You cannot change them. They are old. And you need to respect them.
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
Honestly, I pity you because you must have gone through some real personal Hell to harbor such hate in your heart.
You need Jesus.
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