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My husband and I were always getting spoken to in Spanish by Mexicans when we lived in Texas and white people assumed my husband was Mexican. We just shrugged it off. Thing is we are both immigrants to the USA and will always be seen as other, and so what, this is what this country is made of. My granddaughter at 2 speaks Chinese and English . I’d hope she will grow up to have enough self confidence and enjoys her varied cultural heritage enough not to spend her life getting in a snit because someone wants to thank her in Chinese
My husband and I were always getting spoken to in Spanish by Mexicans when we lived in Texas and white people assumed my husband was Mexican. We just shrugged it off. Thing is we are both immigrants to the USA and will always be seen as other, and so what, this is what this country is made of. My granddaughter at 2 speaks Chinese and English . I’d hope she will grow up to have enough self confidence and enjoys her varied cultural heritage enough not to spend her life getting in a snit because someone wants to thank her in Chinese
Well said.
Basically the OP is mad because he is Chinese and someone assumed he spoke..... Chinese.
In the grand scheme of life, it's not high on the offense scale.
Again, I am Mexican and people assume I speak Spanish, in Hawaii they assume I am local (non Hispanic), in China they assumed my Chinese/Polynesian/Scottish/Portuguese/whatnot husband was.... I don't know.. but they all wanted pictures with him.
I have a rule to get through life, if someone means me no harm..... I do not take offense. Heck, even if someone means offense, they are probably not worth any negative emotions on my part. It would only hurt me worse than them, and how much sense does that make?!
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I'm an American born Chinese and when non Asians make friendly gestures in Mandarin I smile and reply in Mandarin. I do speak some Mandarin because I spoke Mandarin at home growing up. People usually don't mean any ill by it.
my sister in law moved to London some years ago and she gets questions about if she speaks english sometimes on the bus and her reply to the 'excuse me, do you speak english' is a deadpan:
'no but I think that person over there speaks' and then goes back to reading her book (she speaks no language other than english).
She further takes offense at the job postings at her daughter's school about "my filipino" which is used to refer to their housekeepers. Since she's Filipino she is considered an outsider in the filipino community (because she's wealthy) and an outsider in the English community since she's not white.
My husband and I were always getting spoken to in Spanish by Mexicans when we lived in Texas and white people assumed my husband was Mexican. We just shrugged it off. Thing is we are both immigrants to the USA and will always be seen as other, and so what, this is what this country is made of. My granddaughter at 2 speaks Chinese and English . I’d hope she will grow up to have enough self confidence and enjoys her varied cultural heritage enough not to spend her life getting in a snit because someone wants to thank her in Chinese
Very well said, this is a multicultural country and there's nothing wrong if someone was curious about your ethnic background. I've had plenty of pleasant conversations just because some ppl were curious what my background was. I don't think I have ever encountered anyone who meant harm whenever they asked me where I'm from, it was just curiosity, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Yesterday I held the door for this white man and he said "Xie Xie" (Chinese for thank you) and then when I had no response and no reaction, he said "Arigato" (Japanese)
Now I don't speak either language, I was aware of those greetings as many people who don't speak the language do, as others understand "Bonjour" etc. But just because I was Asian, he ASSUMED that I spoke the language. I am Chinese-American but that does not necessarily mean I speak Chinese or any other languages, just based on my race.
THEN, when I had no reaction again, he said "Are you Filipino"?!
I said "No I am not and you have been wrong!"
This is almost an opposite situation from the recent run ins I've had where I felt race was a trigger for encounters with rude strangers, in that this man "meant well" but "Thanks" would've sufficed, this is California 2018 after all. But the assumption about language ability and THEN ethnicity (with multiple failed attempts) just screamed ignorance.
It's not cute that just because you know 1 greeting in language X you use it on someone who you THINK comes from that country X.
Oh and this is not the 1st time something like this has happened
To me that man sounds like he's always on the lookout to show off that he knows how to say things in multiple different languages. He didn't assume as much as hoped you did, and would be impressed by his knowing how to say thank you in "your" language.
my sister in law moved to London some years ago and she gets questions about if she speaks english sometimes on the bus and her reply to the 'excuse me, do you speak english' is a deadpan:
'no but I think that person over there speaks' and then goes back to reading her book (she speaks no language other than english).
She further takes offense at the job postings at her daughter's school about "my filipino" which is used to refer to their housekeepers. Since she's Filipino she is considered an outsider in the filipino community (because she's wealthy) and an outsider in the English community since she's not white.
Sheesh I’ve had people ask me that and I was born and raised there. Seriously people need to get over it, London is a multi cultural society with new residents coming in every other week from overseas. There is nothing wrong with someone politely asking if you speak English
Sheesh I’ve had people ask me that and I was born and raised there. Seriously people need to get over it, London is a multi cultural society with new residents coming in every other week from overseas. There is nothing wrong with someone politely asking if you speak English
well said. Plus, intention is everything.
I once saw a white guy asking an Asian woman "Excuse me, Do you speak Chinese?" in the mall, the Asian woman acted like she had been attacked or violated. She said, "I was born in California, plus I have a boyfriend already."
Turned out, the white guy was a doctor and he needed somebody to translate for him. A Chinese lady with limited English skills needed some medical attention.
Myself, being an average-looking, short, medium-brown, black female living for a large part of my life in mostly white communities, I get a lot of suspicious looks just about everywhere I show up. Department store employees and cameras follow me around. People on the street seem to react to my meagerly presence as if I am about to either yell at them, rob them, or ask for a date - and this is not just white people. Walking around enjoying a bit of freedom, I am reminded over and over that my freedom is being watched when the local sheriff pulls into the parking lot where I've just shopped or some guy takes a long look over his shoulder as I turn onto a crosswalk behind him.
Unfortunately, people judge us by our looks. That judgment happens at a split second, rarely with enough time in passing to try figuring out someone's racial/cultural/religious identity, or intent on the fly. People assume you are what they have seen in others who look like you, (on tv, in books, or real life) and that's pretty much it.
As people, we try to protect ourselves by at least greeting strangers with kindness if nothing else. Sometimes, that greeting is trying too hard to accommodate others. I'm guilty of that myself with people not like me, even after living among them just about all my life.
Anyhow, perhaps the guy had come across many others who welcomed that sort of greeting and so he did not think of it as being offensive.
As people, we try to protect ourselves by at least greeting strangers with kindness if nothing else. Sometimes, that greeting is trying too hard to accommodate others. I'm guilty of that myself with people not like me, even after living among them just about all my life.
Anyhow, perhaps the guy had come across many others who welcomed that sort of greeting and so he did not think of it as being offensive.
I think this (bold) is a very possible scenario.
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