He Assumed I Spoke "Asian" Because Of My Race! (attractive, boyfriend)
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I shared a story earlier, funny nobody has commented on it, so I need to tell it again.
I saw a white guy asking an Asian woman "Excuse me, Can you speak Chinese" in the mall once. The Asian woman acted like she has just been violated or attacked. She answered very angrily, "I was born in California, plus, I have a boyfriend already."
Turned out, the white gentleman is a doctor, and he just wanted somebody translating for him because a Chinese lady with limited English skills needed some medical attention.
I can see both sides to it but HER reaction was unnecessarily defensive and even presumptuous (thinking he wanted to date her)
It has different layers from my incident, but yes it was an interesting anecdote
My own uncle used to be a doctor without borders. He is white, and many people have asked him questions like, "Are you American? Are you French, etc, etc, etc" People just wanted to get to know him because he was NICE, that is all. sheesh
It's all about the color , you know
It's also "wording"
"What kind of Asian" comes off less subtle than "Where are your parents from" which I've gotten as well which is also not easily explained in my case.
"What is your heritage" "What is your ethnic background" are more thoughtful and less offensive.
"What kind of Asian" comes off less subtle than "Where are your parents from" which I've gotten as well which is also not easily explained in my case.
"What is your heritage" "What is your ethnic background" are more thoughtful and less offensive.
This certainly is a good point, but most people are not psychics, they don't know what they say would rub you the wrong way.
Cut them some slack, most people are good people who never meant to "offend." Like I said, the white supremacists crowd would not care if you were born in Taiwan, or Tennessee anyway. Why pick on the good folks?
I certainly have asked several of my 100% white friends, "So what are you anyway? French, English, Russian?" lol They all know what I meant. They asked me the same question, and many said my mix was the coolest mix. Then they immediately asked me if my grandmother and grandfather hooked up during ww2. LOL They don't mean anything bad. I have a friend who has a German father and a Jewish mother, we sometimes joked around and told him that he must suffer from internal conflicts. It is just a joke.
This said, I think I commented enough and I really wish you the best. Although I think you overreacted, there is no doubt in my mind that you are a reasonable poster. So best luck to you.
Last edited by lilyflower3191981; 12-02-2018 at 12:55 PM..
That seems like Racial profiling. Make sure you have cell phone evidence ready and call these people out, that is just wrong. You should not have to feel eyes are peering over you when you mean no harm, just because of your race.
Don't refer to yourself as "meager". Appreciate your sharing of your experiences as a fellow person of color.
It does get to feeling a bit meager when constantly being on the receiving end of harsh looks, hateful jokes, suspicions and all the rest. I'm just being a person in the world but at times it feels like an alien existence.
I get followed and looked over the shoulder at - let's be truthful here - because some of us are still more suspect than others since we look... well... "common." I just happen to have the facial features, shape, and complexion of an average person in the hood than a Megean Good or Tracee Ellis Ross.
I lived in Japan and people in my town constantly thought I was Russian even though I was not. I do have Eastern European heritage and even in Russia people thought I was Russian and would come up to me and ask questions in Russian. I was not bothered when they did that in Japan. Life is too short.
Yesterday I held the door for this white man and he said "Xie Xie" (Chinese for thank you) and then when I had no response and no reaction, he said "Arigato" (Japanese)
Now I don't speak either language, I was aware of those greetings as many people who don't speak the language do, as others understand "Bonjour" etc. But just because I was Asian, he ASSUMED that I spoke the language. I am Chinese-American but that does not necessarily mean I speak Chinese or any other languages, just based on my race.
THEN, when I had no reaction again, he said "Are you Filipino"?!
I said "No I am not and you have been wrong!"
This is almost an opposite situation from the recent run ins I've had where I felt race was a trigger for encounters with rude strangers, in that this man "meant well" but "Thanks" would've sufficed, this is California 2018 after all. But the assumption about language ability and THEN ethnicity (with multiple failed attempts) just screamed ignorance.
It's not cute that just because you know 1 greeting in language X you use it on someone who you THINK comes from that country X.
Oh and this is not the 1st time something like this has happened
It was condescending and yeah I would of been annoyed as well.
That's like speaking swahili to a black guy on the street or telling him happy kwanzaa.
It does get to feeling a bit meager when constantly being on the receiving end ofharsh looks, hateful jokes, suspicions and all the rest. I'm just being a person in the world but at times it feels like an alien existence.
I get followed and looked over the shoulder at - let's be truthful here - because some of us are still more suspect than others since we look... well... "common." I just happen to have the facial features, shape, and complexion of an average person in the hood than a Megean Good or Tracee Ellis Ross.
If you feel racial profiling and being questioned/ intimidated because of your race, you do need to get your cell phone camera ready.
That's how the Black guy in St Louis got back at the white lady who questioned him about ENTERING HIS OWN APARTMENT- so glad he got it on cell phone evidence, posted it (he was so mild and calm too) and she lost her job from her bad behavior/ overzealous racial profiling.
Can't you just laugh it off as a quirk of human nature? I'm really not getting the outrage here, but I am seeing a lot of people who like being outraged. Well adjusted people don't dwell on stuff like this and I guarantee we all deal with weird stuff from others.
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