One's Ability to be a "Debbie Downer" on the NoVA Sub-Forum

[robbobobbo]

My dinosaur theory... I mean, my take on any forum where there are differences of opinion:

Any region is going to have people who get up in arms if you criticize it. NoVA is not unique in this.

If someone posts an opinion that you disagree with, it's better to start off with "I disagree (and explain why)" or "My view/experience is different from yours, here's why" as opposed to "YOU'RE WRONG!"

If you hate it here, graciously accept that many people love it here, or at least find it acceptable. You may not comprehend why, but that's your problem, not theirs. You're still free to criticize things you don't like. But be prepared to have others question your criticisms.

If you love it here, graciously accept that some people don't, for whatever reason, even if you can't comprehend how they could dislike it. Realize that often it's because they've moved from a really different place, and the transition to unfamiliar surroundings, plus other stresses, may be giving them a bleak view. Or that some things about this region really do bother the person. You're still free to make corrections to posts you see as either false or exaggerated, or give positive counter-examples to the negative points.

If you've made specific points about the region, in great detail, there's not much point in rehashing them, especially if it's negative. Bottom line, some posts look like tirades and they reduce the poster's credibility if they keep reappearing in basically the same form. And many are just expressions of the poster's personal preferences. Imagine if I moved to Kansas and kept posting "this place sucks, it's too flat, hilly places are better." Seriously - what can be done about that? Why keep bringing it up?

To reduce chances of "homers" slamming a negative post, try to avoid characterizing residents in an overly-broad negative way. For example, saying that residents who drive a certain make of car are ipso-facto posers and stuck-up snobs is immature. Same goes for characterizing people who wear certain clothes or frequent particular restaurants or bars.

I view these forums as a means to find out about places. I don't view the forum as a place for unhappy people to complain about their lives, or even for happy people to share what's going on in theirs. Since every place is bound to have residents unhappy with it, perhaps there should be a top-level forum for "Fish out of water" or "Miserable here" or "Homesick". Because many of the most virulent posts against a region (including NoVA) boil down to that.

[Caladium]

It seems to me this topic has already been done to death.

Are-negative-opinions-allowed-on-this-forum

Just a suggestion, but maybe we should limit the number of times the same poster can start a thread on the same exact topic? Why not just find the original thread and revive it if you really think there's more to be said on a topic?

[GreenGene]

Originally Posted by South Jersey Styx

My father was stationed there and so I spent some of my childhood at Fort Dix (we lived in base quarters). And yes, we liked it very much. Now it's a megabase -- the first in the country. And I think they've made some rules about preserving the local farms and pine forests that surround Fort Dix. I am often surprised how often I run into military or former military folk who were assigned there, especially when doing their basic training.

I did basic and AIT there in '72, and I suspect that if I had done my basic training in Hawaii, I'd have a bit of an attitude about Hawaii! OTOH, I met people I will never forget, and had experiences that changed me - made me grow up, you know?

Originally Posted by JEB77

GreenGene - How so? I wonder about this because my parents scouted out all sorts of places to retire and then decided to stay put. Probably about half of our neighbors from when I was growing up made the same decision. In their case, it mostly had to do with being close to their grandkids in NoVa and Richmond.

I like to live in different places and, once I retire, I'd like to live at least part-time (if we're able to swing it) somewhere other than this area, just for the change of scenery and a different style of life. But I also wouldn't be totally surprised if we end up staying here as well.

During most of our 29 years here, we were involved in the typical things that families are involved in wherever they live. Working full time (in the District, and commuting), raising two kids (day care, then schools and before & after care, as needed, and running around with various activities - especially dance for our daughter), renting a house, and then renting another, then buying our first home, and then moving up to a bigger home ... well, you get the picture. All those things that bring a lot of satisfaction and joy, but also a ton of stress, are no longer a concern.

Now we're retired. We don't have to do grocery shopping on the weekend, or in the evening when we're tired from a long day of working and commuting. Our kids are grown, and so schools aren't a priority for us. And absolutely the best thing of all - we no longer have to commute up and down I-95 every day.

We have weekdays free to do things, and this is a wonderful area filled with all kinds of things to do (that were here all along, but are now much, much easier to do since the time we have available to do them isn't compressed into the weekends). We've gone to more shows since we retired, we've visited more museums, we've traveled more (and more spur-of-the-moment) on either day trips or overnighters, we've kayaked a bunch and thoroughly enjoyed it each and every time, etc.

We had every intention of selling our house and moving out of the area, downsizing, looking for a place more affordable in terms of cost of living and state taxes, and moving closer to family. But the plunge of the real estate market has compelled us to stay - we simply could not sell the house at a price that would enable us to move comfortably. So the decision to stay in the area, for at least a while, was pretty much made for us.

Fortunately, when we planned for retirement - and we planned for years - we made sure that we could afford to stay in place if, for some unforeseen reason, we had to.

And now, I'm glad for the way things have worked out. Had we moved when we had originally planned (within 3-4 months of our retirements), we probably would not have realized how nice an area this is for retired folks.

[Bigfoot424]

I'd recommend everyone just grow a pair and quit taking things so personal. It's the internet for crying out loud.

[slduvall]

Originally Posted by ngadude

Very highly doubtful that city-data.com and the numbers of prospective people moving here that read it - that would reconsider because of negative stuff posted here, would have ANY impact on housing prices. The sheer number of houses sold in the area - means what? Maybe a small blip on the radar of a few less houses bought because someone read some negative stuff?

The hypothesis that people are promoting Nova on this forum to boost prices is equally faulty and again any influence this forum has on housing prices is negligible. It would take hundreds of prospective house buyers to abandon the Nova market for any kind of influence on the house prices.

Finally...I was wondering if anyone was going to catch that. You have got to be kidding me if you think C-D is responsible for the price of houses. I even think it would be more like thousands of buyers to walk away before the prices changed.

I think perhaps those that might live, eat and breath C-D might assume that this is the only source for information, but you might be surprised how many people have never even heard of it, and if they have wouldn't purchase a house based on the opinions of strangers. Getting the good bad and ugly about an area is a great tool, one of many, but C-D should never be your only source, be it moving here, buying a house, selected a school, employer etc. It should also NOT be your sole source for venting, sharing news - good and bad. It just isn't healthy. And I'm not a health professional, but if i was I would be worried about some recent posts by the OP.

I also think that "problems" in an area are not going to be solved by something like C-D, venting about it..I get that, but expecting it to get fixed because you complain about it...A LOT...ain't gonna happen. And it isn't going to change no matter where you live. If you think Pittsburg doesn't have problems you are more naive than I thought. I try not to get personal in my posts (regarding others) but when you open the door you have to expect that people are going to walk in.

I love the debates here...I don't engage often, but I do see a microcosm of society on C-D. The good, the bad and the Ugly...

[normie]

Originally Posted by slduvall

You have got to be kidding me if you think C-D is responsible for the price of houses. I even think it would be more like thousands of buyers to walk away before the prices changed. :

I totally agree. Not only is this an illogical argument in the way you noted, but it's also illogical because most of the people on this forum are not selling their homes. IMO, only someone selling a house wants their home assessment to rise. For the rest of us higher assessments mean your taxes go up.

Originally Posted by slduvall

I think perhaps those that might live, eat and breath C-D might assume that this is the only source for information, but you might be surprised how many people have never even heard of it, and if they have wouldn't purchase a house based on the opinions of strangers. :

I agree with this even more. Seriously, who makes a major purchase or decides to move somewhere based solely on internet comments? As you point out, we're all strangers. For all you know I could be some 14-year-old kid.

Originally Posted by slduvall

Getting the good bad and ugly about an area is a great tool, one of many, but C-D should never be your only source, be it moving here, buying a house, selected a school, employer etc.

I agreed with this most of all! As much as I love city-data, it should never be your only source of information.

[Margery]

Originally Posted by normie

I totally agree. Not only is this an illogical argument in the way you noted, but it's also illogical because most of the people on this forum are not selling their homes. IMO, only someone selling a house wants their home assessment to rise. For the rest of us higher assessments mean your taxes go up.



I agree with this even more. Seriously, who makes a major purchase or decides to move somewhere based solely on internet comments? As you point out, we're all strangers. For all you know I could be some 14-year-old kid.



I agreed with this most of all! As much as I love city-data, it should never be your only source of information.

I have to tell you I totally agree with Normie and the quotes she used in her posting. I get a chuckle out of the sweeping pronouncements made by many posters. What may be true for one community is not necessarily true for a nearby community and certainly not true for all of "NoVa". I wouldn't presume to give an opinion on real estate in Arlington, for example, as I know very little about Arlington. I do know the Sterling/Herndon area very well and enough about Ashburn and Leesburg to offer an educated opinion. Just as all politics are local so is real estate.

[FindingZen]

Thank you to those who heeded my suggestion to refrain from making any personal references in this thread. Unfortunately, there were those who chose not to follow it.

Thread closed.