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A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk, 'Are you ready to find Jesus?'
'Yes I am' replies the drunk, so the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the river. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, 'Brother have you found Jesus?'
The drunk replies, 'No, I haven't.' The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time. He pulls him out of the water and asks again, 'Have you found Jesus, my brother?'
The drunk again answers, 'No, I have not found Jesus.'
By this time the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk i n the water again, but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds.
When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up. The preacher asks the drunk again, 'For the love of God, have you found Jesus?'
The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher,
Well...ya'll have read the title. Post the corniest, most groan-worthy jokes here, and rate the ones from the previous poster with either or .
The jokes with the most are the most corny.
We'll see how awful we can get them to be...
Q."Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of pants?"
A. In case they get a hole in one.
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you ?"
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room,'Why are you down here at this time of night'?
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'.
She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.
The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating? I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive.
'Yes, I do' she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'
'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued, 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years?'
'I remember that, too' she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said 'I would have gotten out today.'
Still living at home and expecting to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Robert decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.
So he went to a singles bar and he searched until he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away.
"Right now, I'm just an ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "but within a month or two, my father will pass away and I'll inherit over $20 million dollars."
The woman went home with Robert that night, and four days later she became his stepmother.
Men will never learn.
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Post Corny Jokes Here
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Shotgun
