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Old 12-02-2011, 05:23 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,737,691 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Well . . .here's the thing.

Everyone knows they have to get their kids to school. It is part of parenting. The parents in question have two vehicles. Both the parents have time to get their child to school just like OP does.

Why do they need "notice" of the discontinuance of a service they are not even paying for?

Why do you feel the OP needs to give any explanation at all?

Frankly, I am wondering why the neighbor wouldn't be feeling like SHE owes an explanation to OP as to why she has not even attempted to create an equitable situation with the carpooling for four years.
I don't understand, either, how someone can go on for years like that and not offer something in return. But the OP has a part in this. It has become expected because she's been doing it this whole time. If she had a problem with it, she should have said so, not just up and quit with no notice for no reason.
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Old 12-02-2011, 05:41 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 65,265,344 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
I don't understand, either, how someone can go on for years like that and not offer something in return. But the OP has a part in this. It has become expected because she's been doing it this whole time. If she had a problem with it, she should have said so, not just up and quit with no notice for no reason.
RKB . . . I am confused as to why you keep going back to this "notice" thing. The OP was providing a free service. Why does she need to give notice other than - I won't be doing this any more?

I mean . . . I think you and I and most folks don't want to make enemies and so try to be socially graceful . . . so I know OP wants to do this in a graceful manner . . . but the bottom line is . . . the folks who have essentially overstepped the boundaries of good manners and in fact, good neighbors, are the folks who have taken advantage of the OP's good nature.

We need to think this through. You are referring to this "service" as if it were something contracted and paid for. Let's face it - what has occurred here is . . . folks have gotten used to taking advantage of the service so generously offered - without compensation - by a neighbor. Giving them a cut off date is very polite on the part of the OP. What would be rude would be to just not show up. That would be rude as well as passive aggressive, but on the other hand . . . common courtesy should have dictated that anyone with any concern for good relations b/n neighbors would have meant that looooong ago, the neighbors should have inquired about sharing expenses, sharing carpooling arrangements, or even taking on the responsibility they have for their own child as their parents by simply curtailing the arrangement THEMSELVES - and taking their own kid to school.

Why would anyone need to offer any explanation at all other than "I won't be able to take your son to school any more."

Why would the neighbors need more of an explanation than that? Why would anyone feel they are "OWED" anything at all other than notice that they will have to forego that extra cup of coffee and roll outta bed like the rest of the world and get their kid to school on time?

It was such a privilege to chauffeur their child that now the OP must find some explanation as to why she must decline providing that service in the future????
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Old 12-02-2011, 05:46 PM
 
1,226 posts, read 1,980,574 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
RKB . . . I am confused as to why you keep going back to this "notice" thing. The OP was providing a free service. Why does she need to give notice other than - I won't be doing this any more?
I agree, there's no obligation to give notice that you are no longer willing to be a doormat. "You can take advantage of me until the end of the month, but that's it!"

The only time you should need to give notice is if you have some sort of contract, verbal of otherwise. A contract involves each party benefiting in some way. OP is not, therefore she has no obligation.
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Old 12-02-2011, 05:54 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,737,691 times
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No, she isn't under any obligation. She doesn't HAVE to give any kind of notice. But to just up and say "no more" after doing it for 4 years w/o complaint is a complete 180. I guess it also depends on the desired result. If she wants out of this completely, then I guess alienating the neighbor is the only thing she has to lose by going your route. If she hopes to share the driving with the neighbor, obviously they need to discuss options.
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Old 12-02-2011, 05:56 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 86,054,517 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post

Why would anyone need to offer any explanation at all other than "I won't be able to take your son to school any more."

Why would the neighbors need more of an explanation than that? Why would anyone feel they are "OWED" anything at all other than notice that they will have to forego that extra cup of coffee and roll outta bed like the rest of the world and get their kid to school on time?

It was such a privilege to chauffeur their child that now the OP must find some explanation as to why she must decline providing that service in the future????
And there's a real simple way to do that, if our OP decides she doesn't want to "carpool" any more...

She simply needs to say to the mom - This situation isn't working for me any more, so as of Monday I won't be able to pick Jimmy up.

Simple and direct - this isn't working for me - no other explanation is necessary
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Old 12-02-2011, 05:58 PM
 
Location: State of Being
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cc0789 View Post
I agree, there's no obligation to give notice that you are no longer willing to be a doormat. "You can take advantage of me until the end of the month, but that's it!"

The only time you should need to give notice is if you have some sort of contract, verbal of otherwise. A contract involves each party benefiting in some way. OP is not, therefore she has no obligation.
LOL. Yep, you nailed it.

Maybe she should send a note:

Dear Neighbors:

Thank you for allowing me the honor and privilege of playing bus driver to your little boy. I am so sorry to tell you, I woke up the other morning and it hit me I had been late to work 7 times in the last two months b/c your son was late coming out of the house. I feel awful about this. I know I am a terrible person for having to cut off your freebie taxi service, and I hope you won't hate me forever and throw mud clods at my windows and spray weed killer on my grass.

I know this is going to present a horrible burden for you and your husband, as I see you come to the door in the morning in your robes and therefore realize that my precipitous and shameful discontinuance of this service is going to curtail that extra cup of coffee you have after your son vacates the premises every morning.

I am enclosing a pound of the finest Arabica Dark Roast, in hopes this will soften the blow.

Please don't ban your child from my house b/c I was so irresponsible as to put a halt to this four year arrangement.

Yours eternally,
Flourpower, aka, the taxi service next door
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Old 12-02-2011, 06:01 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 65,265,344 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
And there's a real simple way to do that, if our OP decides she doesn't want to "carpool" any more...

She simply needs to say to the mom - This situation isn't working for me any more, so as of Monday I won't be able to pick Jimmy up.

Simple and direct - this isn't working for me - no other explanation is necessary
Absolutely agree. That is what I would do. Honest, straightforward and polite.
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Old 12-02-2011, 06:05 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 86,054,517 times
Reputation: 39670
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
lol. Yep, you nailed it.

Maybe she should send a note:

Dear neighbors:

Thank you for allowing me the honor and privilege of playing bus driver to your little boy. I am so sorry to tell you, i woke up the other morning and it hit me i had been late to work 7 times in the last two months b/c your son was late coming out of the house. I feel awful about this. I know i am a terrible person for having to cut off your freebie taxi service, and i hope you won't hate me forever and throw mud clods at my windows and spray weed killer on my grass.

I know this is going to present a horrible burden for you and your husband, as i see you come to the door in the morning in your robes and therefore realize that my precipitous and shameful discontinuance of this service is going to curtail that extra cup of coffee you have after your son vacates the premises every morning.

I am enclosing a pound of the finest arabica dark roast, in hopes this will soften the blow.

Please don't ban your child from my house b/c i was so irresponsible as to put a halt to this four year arrangement.


Yours eternally,
flourpower, aka, the taxi service next door

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha AWESOME!!!
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Old 12-02-2011, 06:11 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 65,265,344 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha AWESOME!!!
Glad you enjoyed. We aim to please.
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Old 12-02-2011, 06:50 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,333,321 times
Reputation: 32238
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Simple and direct - this isn't working for me - no other explanation is necessary
I like this. In fact I like it so much I'm going to write it down on a 3x5 card in great big block letters.

Then I'll flash it whenever I'm upset with anyone. Seriously. It's going to save me a ton of time and energy.

OP: This is SO brilliant. Easy peasy Jay Feely!
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