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The topic was serious, the idea that you seem to have that "serious conversations" are planned and take place at a specific time is what is off. Also see posts 3, 5 etc upthread.
I'm sorry, but I thought yousaid it wasn't a serious conversation? (post 14) Then how can the conversation NOT be serious, but the topic (within the very same conversation) be considered serious??
I'm sorry, but I thought yousaid it wasn't a serious conversation? Then how can the conversation NOT be serious, but the topic (within the very same conversation) be considered serious??
Apparently you didn't notice that I put "serious conversation" in quotes to indicate that I was referring to your definition of serious conversation (planned sit down about a specific topic of concern). Now you're simply arguing semantics to divert attention from your lack of a real point.
I do not know if you understand maybe your wife's point of view. First the post is called "wife's stupid questions?" How is this not putting down your wife?
If your daughter is 15 she is very much in tune with her sexuality and maybe just maybe your wife is in tune with it also. Have you ever asked your daughter how she feels? Or is it just stupid and not meant to be asked because she is a child? Your wife might know that your daughter has conveyed feelings towards girls that is "not natural" in your thoughts. This was your wife's way of trying to open a dialogue with you especially if your wife has approached you on this subject prior.
Your daughter is still young but you need to talk to her and let her know that no matter what mistakes she make or judgment or way of life you still support her.
Usually I have my husband watch a stupid movie as opposed to a documentary especially if on Netflix because I know he can watch that movie anytime since it is Netflix. There is a hidden agenda with watching the stupid no non sense movies on lifetime like I used to watch growing up- ex: Waltons, Happy Days, etc. These movies were ones where my family sat around watching it because it taught life values and brought up questions for the family to discuss. If we only watched documentary television we would have never know how to handle some situations in life.
I do applaud you for watching the movie with your wife and daughter in this day and age some men would have walked out and not watched the movie.
Just my thoughts!
OP Question when your wife has worked hard all day on meal and you eat it and she is very proud (it tastes horrible) do you tell her a. this is the worst meal I ever ate or b. you eat it up and not ask for seconds. I am all for the a answer and let her know that you appreciate her hard work but that meal should be kept for special occasions. We help/guide those we love.
Last edited by 3a's; 01-29-2013 at 07:47 AM..
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"What if" conversations are quite healthy and good. It allows open discussion when both parties aren't emotional. If you embraced it and discussed it I'm sure it be way easier to deal with if your daughter turns out to be gay.
Parenting is a constant "what if" if you think about. You start talks of kidnapping, molesters, sex, drugs, college, occupations etc long before its an issue with kids to prepare them for life. Its all really "what if".
I would have to agree with you and that this is more of a relationship question although I do fail to see where I'm belittling my wife to strangers.
Option 1:
My wife interrupted me last night to make me watch one of her stupid shows. She asked a stupid question and put me on the spot in front of our daughter, and she got mad at my answer. She ruined my whole evening! Why do some women insist on ruining things with their stupid shows and stupid questions?
Option 2:
My wife and I were watching a TV show last night, and she asked me an uncomfortable question in front of our daughter. She didn't seem to like the answer, and we ended up arguing about it. The question was purely hypothetical, so I don't know why she was upset. How can I find out what's bothering her and get to the bottom of this? Also, does anyone have any suggestions about how to avoid these situations in the future?
My wife interrupted me last night to make me watch one of her stupid shows. She asked a stupid question and put me on the spot in front of our daughter, and she got mad at my answer. She ruined my whole evening! Why do some women insist on ruining things with their stupid shows and stupid questions?
Option 2:
My wife and I were watching a TV show last night, and she asked me an uncomfortable question in front of our daughter. She didn't seem to like the answer, and we ended up arguing about it. The question was purely hypothetical, so I don't know why she was upset. How can I find out what's bothering her and get to the bottom of this? Also, does anyone have any suggestions about how to avoid these situations in the future?
a much better approach. This would help with familial conversations.
This past Sunday as we were eating dinner my wife wanted to watch a stupid Lifetime movie. I was already watching an interesting show on Netflix about migrating birds, but I took it that more entertaining (and educational) viewing was in order. The movie was about this deeply religious woman who was up for this "Woman of the Year" award in her church. I believe the church was Catholic. Anyway the church officials wanted to meet the woman's family which consisted of her husband who was a recovering alcoholic (10 years sober), her son who just left his wife and children, and her daughter who was a lesbian, 5 months pregnant, and was planning to marry her girlfriend. During the movie my wife asks my 15 year old daughter "Would you think I would love you less if you told me you are gay?" My daughter answered no. Then she asks "What about your father?" She said "Dad would never talk to me again." My wife then says to me "Did you hear what your daughter just said?" I replied "Yes." She then asked "Well how do you respond to what she just said?" I stated that it was not a real situation, and that I would find her telling me she is gay hard to deal with. And with that (honest) answer she is upset with me because I didn't give the standard "I will love you no matter what" answer. I once again reminded her that her question is hypothetical, and its not like I said I would disown her, but that did not seem to matter. Why do (some) women ruin a perfectly good evening at home over what if questions?
I think I saw that movie you are talking about
I don't think you should say "stupid" when referring to your wife!
My wife interrupted me last night to make me watch one of her stupid shows. She asked a stupid question and put me on the spot in front of our daughter, and she got mad at my answer. She ruined my whole evening! Why do some women insist on ruining things with their stupid shows and stupid questions?
Option 2:
My wife and I were watching a TV show last night, and she asked me an uncomfortable question in front of our daughter. She didn't seem to like the answer, and we ended up arguing about it. The question was purely hypothetical, so I don't know why she was upset. How can I find out what's bothering her and get to the bottom of this? Also, does anyone have any suggestions about how to avoid these situations in the future?
Ah. So its the way I worded the question that caused the venom here. I understand it now. I'm not trying to be funny, but I did not understand how or why so many were upset at a question I answered honestly, and even after I did sit through the movie my wife wanted to watch without complaint. I just got caught up on being blasted for being put on the spot, and giving an honest answer to a question discussed previously in private.
This past Sunday as we were eating dinner my wife wanted to watch a stupid Lifetime movie. I was already watching an interesting show on Netflix about migrating birds, but I took it that more entertaining (and educational) viewing was in order. The movie was about this deeply religious woman who was up for this "Woman of the Year" award in her church. I believe the church was Catholic. Anyway the church officials wanted to meet the woman's family which consisted of her husband who was a recovering alcoholic (10 years sober), her son who just left his wife and children, and her daughter who was a lesbian, 5 months pregnant, and was planning to marry her girlfriend. During the movie my wife asks my 15 year old daughter "Would you think I would love you less if you told me you are gay?" My daughter answered no. Then she asks "What about your father?" She said "Dad would never talk to me again." My wife then says to me "Did you hear what your daughter just said?" I replied "Yes." She then asked "Well how do you respond to what she just said?" I stated that it was not a real situation, and that I would find her telling me she is gay hard to deal with. And with that (honest) answer she is upset with me because I didn't give the standard "I will love you no matter what" answer. I once again reminded her that her question is hypothetical, and its not like I said I would disown her, but that did not seem to matter. Why do (some) women ruin a perfectly good evening at home over what if questions?
Why did you ever agree to watch such a retarded movie? I would have gotten the two of them to watch something more interesting like your bird show....or better: Home & Garden...cause it sure is more educational! (BTW if we don't agree on what to watch together for whatever reason, we watch what we want in separate rooms! = peace and quite on all sides! I get to watch DIY and hubby gets to watch Family Guy which I despise! LOLOL) My hubby is very lucky, it takes LOT to get me to watch a movie these days considering all the trash that's out...
It is in a womens genes to ask provacative questions - she knew perfectly well the question would make you mad.
Most wifes do this. If the movie is about a husband fooling around with a 17 year old, a husband having sex with a watermelon, a husband doing crack-cocaine, you will no matter what get the "what if`s" !!
There is something in their lifes that connects their own personal lifes to what they see on TV - they have problems distancing themselves from the situation in the plot on the movie.
I personally don`t watch anything on TV with my wife because of this...but the only way to put an end to it is by answering: "Oh, yes, of course dear" - that throws her off, since she will be uncertain that you mean it...
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