The post I never wanted to make but knew I would (milk, playing)
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Sadly it's a very very very common mentality with the anti abortion crowd. They sing long songs about opposing it but then not care when the child is born. I'm going out on a limb here, but it almost sounds as if she is attempting to make it harder than it needs to be so her daughter will give the baby up for adoption.
I have no idea what the motivation is. But considering the OP's posts about life in the womb in the POC threads I can't help but shake my head. If it's a baby in the womb why is this baby not being taken care of?
The OP has made posts about her daughter having various problems. IIRC some type of counselors or therapists were consulted. If that's true she's a young woman who needs extra help. There's no shame in that.That's just the way it is with some people. IMHO the time to "teach a lesson" is not when she's newly pregnant. The boyfriend should also get his butt in gear. He's in a bed but she's in a car? WTheck is up with that?
I'm hoping much of what has been described is..... embellished.
One frustrating thing about the parenting forum is you have posters who only post part of the story, or leave out pertinent details, then get upset and exclaim "well, you don't know the whole story!" when people respond to the information that was given.
Or you have people who only want to be validated, and if anyone disagrees with them they respond with disdain, defensiveness, or that stupid emoticon.
I'm not one of the people who know DD1's whole story. I do know what I've read here and that's it. That is what my responses have been based on. I myself have posted about difficult and personal situations, sharing more information than I'm comfortable with, but only so that I could get good and relevant answers. If I chose NOT to share certain details and the answers I got didn't fit the situation at all, my reaction would not be to blame the responders, but simply either close the thread or ignore it since it isn't applying to me.
So what is the real reason for this thread? Pages back, Hopes listed a ton of resources in your area that she took the time herself to look up, something that you or your DD could have easily done yourself. People have advised you on what to do as far as checking about your insurance. Welfare assistance available is as easy as going to the local human services office and asking. It's really not that difficult.
But then we move on to how it's DH's fault since it was his decision to kick her out. Um, no, it's DD's fault for choosing to be a bum and not wanting to do anything. DH gave her chance after chance I'm sure. The kid had an education paid for by her parents, free room and board, and a car to drive. What makes you so certain that she wouldn't have gotten pregnant while lounging around your house doing nothing? Then she never would have had to work or even take care of her own baby. You and DH would be parents all over again, only this time to a grown woman and a new baby. DH did the right thing, and it's a shame you'd rather blame him than see that.
However, if it is validation you are seeking, I can say that I am glad that you aren't going against DH by letting her come back home. I question not only is she really pregnant, but is she really even sleeping in a car. If she is, her boyfriend is a real POS when he can easily fork up money for a motel at least to prevent that. I mean what, is she sleeping in his car parked in his parent's driveway, while he's inside cozy in his bed? Sounds like BS to me. Sounds like she's trying to gain a way back into home, maybe by faking a pregnancy, maybe by lying to make it seem like she's completely without a place to lay her head.
To me, your firstborn has always seemed like a child who is starved for the attention and admiration her younger sister readily and easily receives. Seems like she goes to any extreme to get it. Like you said, only you know what's really going on. So only you can fix it. Nobody here can help with your family dynamics or issues, but it's pretty clear that there are some that desperately need fixing.
It's probably a good idea to look for an apartment based on the $2,000 number then the $3,000 number but they won't qualify for food stamps or housing assistance based on current income so you can forget about that until their finances actually change. Your dd will probably qualify for WIC and Medicaid for the baby because those are based on her income as an unwed mother and won't take the boyfriend's income into account. Food stamps and housing assistance will take into account the household income so she won't qualify for those. She's probably too early to apply for WIC. Right now the focus should be on finding an apartment and trying to keep the rent at around $700/month without utilities.
My husband and I are both freelancers, self employed and I'm in the creative field. There are months we don't make 3000. We are raging liberals and wouldn't dream of using any type of assistance. Because - we chose this path on purpose, it makes us happy and we don't believe others are responsible for our choices. Sometimes its rather difficult. However, we are adamant that there are people that really do need the help and should get it. It makes me want to throw up that those on this forum who express disdain for those who could use a hand and medical care would see all that cut - unless it's suddenly one of their own.
Then, oh look! Lets get our precious darling all the help we can! So let's call it like it is shall we, that this makes our middle class precious children no better than the oft maligned stereotypical Welfare Queen with 3 kids and 3 Baby Daddys.
Young adults should be able to live perfectly well on that kind of money. You're not supposed to start off in McMansions with new cars and Coach handbags. Babies don't need much. But the hypocrisy makes me nauseous.
Yet you are looking for answers to your "Where can she get government help" questions.
You say she did this to herself then let herself get herself out of this mess.
It should be blatantly obvious to you that she does not want your help or opinions so quit trying to give them to her.
Let her continue to live her own life, make her own mistakes and learn how to adapt to the choices she has made all by herself.
It's probably a good idea to look for an apartment based on the $2,000 number then the $3,000 number but they won't qualify for food stamps or housing assistance based on current income so you can forget about that until their finances actually change. Your dd will probably qualify for WIC and Medicaid for the baby because those are based on her income as an unwed mother and won't take the boyfriend's income into account. Food stamps and housing assistance will take into account the household income so she won't qualify for those. She's probably too early to apply for WIC. Right now the focus should be on finding an apartment and trying to keep the rent at around $700/month without utilities.
I posted a bunch of apartment complexes that were between $600-$700 a month for a 1 bedroom (which is doable for now). That's very easy to find in metro detroit from what I recall living there and my friends that currently live there. Heck my friends are sharing a 2 bedroom under 700 a month but they tell me it's very hard to find that now.
I asked for advice about what I don't know about and that is what kind of help is available to a pregnant 19 year old who is homeless right now. Somehow that warrants 25 pages of posts. go figure.
Either you're being purposely obtuse or are very dense. If you were truly looking for financial help, why would you post on the parenting forum? One, you KNOW that most people here are aware of the ongoing story with your family, you had to have realized that there would be comments. Two, this is a parenting forum - if you want advice as to how to help your daughter financially support herself, post in the Detroit forum. Or better yet, do a Google search: "resources for homeless pregnant teenagers southern Michigan", "pregnant and homeless Detroit," or "cheap apartments Detroit area." That would take all of about a minute, and you wouldn't have to argue with internet strangers.
Think, Ivory. You're digging yourself into this hole.
I think some posters just thrive on drama and getting everyone riled up. DD1 is not the only attention seeker in the family. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
I don't know why she continues to post her woes here when year after year, thread after thread she posts then complains and eventually most of her threads get locked. But continue to post she does. So evidently she is getting something out of it.
Instead of tearing people apart, can't we use these forums as a way to gather, or pass on, helpful information? The situation of a pregnant 19 year old unfortunately isn't uncommon. Technically an adult, but a very young adult, with now very real adult responsibilities. I prefer to focus on that common scenario rather than nitpick the OP. Good advice can be found in a number of the posts on this thread. No need to be insulting.
Young adults should be able to live perfectly well on that kind of money. You're not supposed to start off in McMansions with new cars and Coach handbags. Babies don't need much. But the hypocrisy makes me nauseous.
I agree. I don't understand why the op immediately asked for all of these resources when it's obvious that they don't need any. They may need Medicaid for the baby once the baby is born but besides that they will be just fine with that amount of money, even the $2,000 isn't bad for a young couple just starting out.
When my first baby was born we lived on about the same salary as the op's daughter and boyfirend will be living on and we live in a much more expensive area. It was not easy but we did it. And we didn't even think about applying for food stamps or any other government assistance because we knew we could do it on our own and we'd both rather that money be used for people who really need it. We didn't really need it. We made it.
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emoticon. 
