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Wow. Just happened to catch this thread. My dear Ivory, you've had so much advice, admonitions, lectures, etc. on your subject that I certainly don't need to add anything at all. Just want to say that I'm very sorry for what you're going through and I hope that everything works out for the best. I truly believe that being a parent is the hardest job ever. Take care of yourself and hope to hear better news from you in the future.
That's not necessarily true. They do look at whether he financially supports her not. That's one of the things they will ask and they will tell you that they go after the father (whether they actually do, I have no idea).
I guess we'll find out. I don't think they can do it on their own without him continuing to work two jobs. If what I expect to happen happens, their income will drop below the cut off for WIC. I don't know about food stamps. Their income is only too high if he keeps on working two jobs but they may not qualify for anything now. Fortunately, she has a little money that can pay the rent on a small apartment for a few months.
I guess we'll find out. I don't think they can do it on their own without him continuing to work two jobs. If what I expect to happen happens, their income will drop below the cut off for WIC. I don't know about food stamps. Their income is only too high if he keeps on working two jobs but they may not qualify for anything now. Fortunately, she has a little money that can pay the rent on a small apartment for a few months.
Well, hopefully he will continue to work two jobs. It's something that many families have to do. If he doesn't then they will have to figure it out. In the meantime, have you talked with them about plans to get an apartment and your willingness to help them with furniture and the like?
That's exactly what would happen. I cannot bail her out this time. She has to do this on her own. It's time for her to grow up. She's not a kid making kid mistakes now. She's an adult making adult mistakes. My bailing her out serves no one. Not her, not the baby, not me, not dh, not dd#2. Everyone loses if we bail her out. I'm not sure anyone wins if we don't but that path is where the possibility lies.
There are no easy decisions left. Only hard ones. It's pick your poison time.
We need to find out what kind of help is available from the state. If they're determined to keep the baby, they need to find a place to live and raise the baby. Fortunately, she's still on my medical insurance so she has been getting prenatal care.
You bailing her out takes it out of the hands of the general public. But now we all have to bail her out because you won't. It is your adult child that is doing this. Why is it the taxpayers problem to pay for it?
No and I wouldn't ask her to. I cannot imagine living with the guilt of having had your child ripped limb from limb just because you didn't want it. I'll give her credit for not killing it but keeping it is not the right thing to do. Somewhere out there is a couple who would love to have this baby who can offer it a good life.
OH for Pete's sake, a pregnancy is NOT a baby.
If you're up on the moral high ground, why don't YOU adopt it?
I haven't read the whole thread, but enough of it. My big concern is for this future child. Based on what I have read, what makes anyone think she will be up to the job of being a patient, loving, hardworking mother? People with problems who have kids are even more unable to cope when the pressures of being a parent are added to the mix. Very rarely do people who can't function start to magically function just because they have a child.
I don't know enough about the OP's daughter, but is she capable of living independently and raising a child in a healthy way? From what I can see she already has two strikes against her: she's very young and she sounds emotionally immature.
There is so much discussion about the logistics here like WIC and and an apartment, but what the heck happens when the child is born and she is on her own? It's scary to think of unless I'm missing something, and she will rise to the occasion.
Another thing to consider is the $5,000 bond may be counted as an asset and could impede qualification for benefits. Even if she spends it, there may be a time frame in which she is not allowed to dispose of assets and still qualify.
Just another question to ask the proper agency.
Although, I just glanced at some of the sites I did notice that some/many had a limit of $2,000 in assets, which may or may not include BF's car. I doubt if the story of the bonds being in a locked "time vault" will sway government auditors into ignoring the money.
Ivory, you mentioned numerous times that DD is sleeping in her boyfriend's car. Since, he probably needs the car to get to his two jobs where is it parked? I am speculating that his car is parked in his parents driveway or garage, which would be a pretty safe place.
A lot, of readers are picturing the car parked on some dangerous back alley in a ghetto area of Detroit. If the car is really parked in BF's driveway, DD probably gets to go inside the house and use the bathroom and take showers, etc. (and maybe nap on the couch or on a bed).
Last edited by germaine2626; 06-24-2014 at 05:12 PM..
I guess we'll find out. I don't think they can do it on their own without him continuing to work two jobs. If what I expect to happen happens, their income will drop below the cut off for WIC. I don't know about food stamps. Their income is only too high if he keeps on working two jobs but they may not qualify for anything now. Fortunately, she has a little money that can pay the rent on a small apartment for a few months.
She has $5,000. Thats going to be more then just a few months, it should cover the deposit and close to the entire 12 months of the lease. She's living in a car, she doesn't need a luxury apartment, they don't even need a two bedroom. Depending on when they get an apartment, they might be over halfway through their lease by the time the baby arrives. They need to find an apartment that is well within their budget, and in a year when their lease is up they can reevaluate their finances at that time and decide if they have enough saved up to get a bigger apartment.
With rent mostly taken care of, their paychecks will be able to go towards bills, food, and savings. $3,000 a month is more then enough to cover those things with enough left over to build a decent sized savings over the next 8 months. I don't know why you are so worried about getting them on Government assistance, it sounds like they'll be fine.
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