The post I never wanted to make but knew I would (babysitting, college)
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Being pregnant changes a person. Before being pregnant I had a job at a nightclub and would go out after work all the time. One night, after leaving work and driving to my boyfriends at the time, a drunk driver crashed and caused the car I was a passenger in the flip over. I was ejected fifty feet, and the cops didn't think I'd make it. I was in a coma for five days, the ICU for over a week, the hospital for a few weeks, then in a rehab hospital to relearn everything for another month. After doing all this I had missed my period but figured it was trauma, stress, medications, etc because when I was in the hospital I had been given a pregnancy test and it was negative.
Eventually I took a test and found out I was, in fact, pregnant. It was so early that the hospital test didn't pick it up. Since the accident, and becoming pregnant I haven't gone out once at night. If I go out its during the day with my daughter to the store with friends or lunch. I also have done everything since finding out I was pregnant for my daughter, instead of just thinking of myself. She comes first no matter what. I haven't put her in daycare or anything and instead took my savings and stayed home for the first three years. Now she is 3 going to be 4 and going to start preschool in the fall, I am going back to school and getting my EMT certification. I figure its better to have a job that will pay me weekly and pay for me to go back to school, then just go back to school and have no money coming in. Again, it's all because she comes first.
You don't know how she will react til the baby comes. Baby's have a way of changing everyone who's involved lives. If it doesn't, then there are serious problems.
I'm glad it's going well for you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
Although, I just glanced at some of the sites I did notice that some/many had a limit of $2,000 in assets, which may or may not include BF's car. I doubt if the story of the bonds being in a locked "time vault" will sway government auditors into ignoring the money.
Ivory, you mentioned numerous times that DD is sleeping in her boyfriend's car. Since, he probably needs the car to get to his two jobs where is it parked? I am speculating that his car is parked in his parents driveway or garage, which would be a pretty safe place.
A lot, of readers are picturing the car parked on some dangerous back alley in a ghetto area of Detroit. If the car is really parked in BF's driveway, DD probably gets to go inside the house and use the bathroom and take showers, etc. (and maybe nap on the couch or on a bed).
It is not Ivory's fault that the girl is sleeping in a car. It is the girl's choice. This is not a 13 year old, its a girl old enough to make her own decisions, and to live by them. Ivory is making efforts to help this girl by giving her the tools to live her life that she has chosen. She can't ask more from her mother than that.
If you read the previous threads, you would see that this girl definitely had a plan to get pregnant. This was no surprise. She planned this, she wanted it, and now she can deal with it. She has chosen this path, and she is going to have to grow up pretty quickly.
Its not killing her to live in her car right now. This girl has chosen not to be cooperative for a long time. She has chosen her path. Im sure if she acts civilized and asks her mother for help, she would get it.
She has $5,000. Thats going to be more then just a few months, it should cover the deposit and close to the entire 12 months of the lease. She's living in a car, she doesn't need a luxury apartment, they don't even need a two bedroom. Depending on when they get an apartment, they might be over halfway through their lease by the time the baby arrives. They need to find an apartment that is well within their budget, and in a year when their lease is up they can reevaluate their finances at that time and decide if they have enough saved up to get a bigger apartment.
With rent mostly taken care of, their paychecks will be able to go towards bills, food, and savings. $3,000 a month is more then enough to cover those things with enough left over to build a decent sized savings over the next 8 months. I don't know why you are so worried about getting them on Government assistance, it sounds like they'll be fine.
What's the bet she's made a lot of loud judgements about folk on Government Assistance in the past and will choke if she has to admit someone in her family has to take it too.
What's the bet she's made a lot of loud judgements about folk on Government Assistance in the past and will choke if she has to admit someone in her family has to take it too.
I think talk of public assistance should be off the table until Ivory knows for sure that it is actually needed.
I'll ask for the 3rd time if Ivory has even asked DD1 what her plan is.
DD#1 is pregnant. I knew that was next after dh made her leave. She has been crashing where she could and often sleeping in her boyfriend's car because his parents will not let her stay there. So now we have to figure out how to make the best of the worst possible situation. Dh and I are not in position to help them either financially or by offering place to live. We don't have the money and we don't have the room. What I need to know is what kind of help is available to them. I would assume they can, at least, get WIC but is there help for them to find a place to sleep? Is there help WRT medical insurance for the baby (dd is covered on my insurance until she's 26 but the baby is not covered)? He makes $8.25/hour and works 40 hours a week. She finally got a minimum wage job (full time) when she found out she was pregnant but I don't think that's going to last once they find out she's pregnant. She's working as a security guard.
If you have any information on how the welfare system works, I would appreciate your advice. The first order of business is finding an actual bed for her to sleep in someplace where she can bring a baby home. I tried to talk her into putting the baby up for adoption but that just got her mad. She's not in a good place in her life to have a baby but she's a legal adult and the decisions are hers. Right now I'd just like to be able to give some advice as to what is out there for help.
she needs to apply.
it is she who should be posting and asking these questions not you.
of course that is why she is not.
I think talk of public assistance should be off the table until Ivory knows for sure that it is actually needed.
I'll ask for the 3rd time if Ivory has even asked DD1 what her plan is.
But Ivorytickler did say she asked and pressed her daughter on what she's going to do and that the daughter said nothing, no indication of any plan. If anything, it appeared that dd#1 seemed disappointed that Dear Mom didn't roll out the red carpet back to home. That post is probably now 15 pages back.
she needs to apply.
it is she who should be posting and asking these questions not you.
of course that is why she is not.
As I've stated multiple times, I want the answers so that if she doesn't figure it out I can say "Here". One possibility is she'll just drag things out. The farther along she is, the more critical it becomes to get her someplace stable. I hope she does get the answers. I've told her to go down and find out what help is available. I don't want lies and I don't want her to not do anything so I want to know what's available.
But Ivorytickler did say she asked and pressed her daughter on what she's going to do and that the daughter said nothing, no indication of any plan. If anything, it appeared that dd#1 seemed disappointed that Dear Mom didn't roll out the red carpet back to home. That post is probably now 15 pages back.
ETA= post #195
That's about it. She just kind of sat there stunned that I didn't offer her a solution. I'm sure she's reeling right now. I think she thought a pregnancy was her way back home and her excuse to not have to work a job. We can't let it be.
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