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Exactly!!! NOWHERE in the article did it hint the old ladies had any kind of neuro issue. Only the respondent here has brought that up as a random assumption, probably because she has one. So in that vein one may as well invent disorders the baby has and suggest that was why he was making noise and why people should have been much more considerate.
I think I'm gonna grab a couple of my work buddies and head down to the Denny's in Boca Raton around 4pm for a nice quiet dinner. And then complain about all the wheelchairs and oxy tanks CLOGGING UP MY DARN PATH. I have a condition where I have to get up and walk every 10 minutes or so but it's hard with all this clutter in my way. Maybe these people should think twice before going out in public with so much bothersome accouterments? And why is everyone talking so loud?! These people should be more considerate of me and my friends who spend our hard earned $ for a meal!
I'm not suggesting that the ladies had a neuro issue....what I am saying is, to be aware next time you take your children out in public, b/c you never know who is sitting next to you.
I'm not assuming anything, except for the fact that it was an older couple...
oh, and someday, your going to get old....that won't make you any less of a human being.
When we were growing up, neighbors not only knew each other but were very aware of the needs of others. Not so much any longer. Anyway, we had a neighbor who used to work nights, so he slept during the day, and I remember mom, reminding us to not yell and scream when we were outside in the back yard. I don't believe parents teach there kids that kind of awareness. Something has been lost when both parents work...I mean day care is great for children, to learn to socialize, to share, to learn, and work together, however, the down side might be, that the awareness is lost...? And you can easily see it, here in the posts...
It is a total lack of consideration for the private space of others....
We also had a neighbor like yours, their dog was tied outside, to a dog house, and if that wasn't bad enough, it barked constantly. It longed so much for attention....same with kids, they learn pretty darn quick if they cry or scream, sooner or later, they're going to get attention.
It's not just because they work, it could also be cultural mores. The Guyanese families are the noisiest folks on my parents' block. The family next door has teenage boys who are always in the driveway working on a couple cars, revving the engines, and blasting music. When I was living over there I was always going out and telling them to lower the noise, because we could hear it in every room in the house. The family 5 houses down is even worse - they think nothing of throwing house parties until well after midnight, complete with booming bass noise that can be heard from blocks away. And the cops don't do sh*t - you try calling for the city police, it goes to the county dispatch, where the calls are dealt with in order of "priority' - as if violations of the city noise ordinance and keeping people up at 1 AM or later is NOT a big deal!!!!!
When it was a white(er), working class/retiree neighborhood the way it was when i was growing up there, this sort of behavior was unheard of. Everyone kept their noise and themselves to themselves.
I have been at a Texas Roadhouse, and yes, it is loud, but it's not the same as having a child next to you screaming through out your entire dinner.
as I said, I remember two instances of this same thing happening to us...and it ruined our night.
we have an autistic child who is the grandson of one of our extended family members, and he has torrettes.
We always have a Christmas family dinner, and at a Roadhouse btw. His parents always, drive separately, and if he gets loud and starts shouting, one of them walks him out to the car, while the other has their waitress box up their dinners. And BTW, when we make reservations, we always tell the establishment that one of the children in our party is autistic, and tell them that they may leave.
So yes, it works both ways....
and it is wise to remember, what you may deem fine may not be fine to others...sometimes we all have to work together.....depending on the situation.
I will keep hammering this. The baby was NOT screaming. I know how screams cut like a knife, but this baby was NOT screaming. You can say it a 100 times, but it's not true.
The baby was loud. Like everyone else in the restaurant. And I'll say it again...the manager identified who the problem was, and kicked them out.
People aren't angry at babies crying, people are angry at clueless parents who drag babies everywhere and disrupt others without any consideration. It's not the patrons who expect a parent to take a diruptive baby or child out of the situation who are entitled. That distinction belongs to parents who blithely ignore the child and excuse their unwillingness to do anything because 'that's what kids do'. Lazy and/or clueless parenting. And plenty of us parents understand that.
(Training babies happens every time you put a baby on a nap/sleep schedule or feeding schedule)
How 1890s! Babies sleep when they are tired and eat when they are hungry. Keeping regular hours, btw, not equal "nap/sleep schedule".
Before my son was born I checked out day care centers. Any place that expected to put babies on schedules was rejected out of hand.
I have MS, so loud noise of any kind goes right thru me....you don't know what the person sitting next to you is going thru or what medical problems they have, and it might be wise to be aware of that fact.
When I was very young, say 2-5 or thereabouts, I could be loud at times. I think that was around the same time my grandfather got his hearing aids, because I vividly remember being told to "shhhhhh!" when inside. Many times.
Well no you don't we each react differently....I wouldn't have given them a note.... Maybe the woman had MS, and was extremely sensitive to loud noise or some other kind of neurological disease?
We all have to consider others before we allow something like this to happen.
It's not just because they work, it could also be cultural mores. The Guyanese families are the noisiest folks on my parents' block. The family next door has teenage boys who are always in the driveway working on a couple cars, revving the engines, and blasting music. When I was living over there I was always going out and telling them to lower the noise, because we could hear it in every room in the house. The family 5 houses down is even worse - they think nothing of throwing house parties until well after midnight, complete with booming bass noise that can be heard from blocks away. And the cops don't do sh*t - you try calling for the city police, it goes to the county dispatch, where the calls are dealt with in order of "priority' - as if violations of the city noise ordinance and keeping people up at 1 AM or later is NOT a big deal!!!!!
When it was a white(er), working class/retiree neighborhood the way it was when i was growing up there, this sort of behavior was unheard of. Everyone kept their noise and themselves to themselves.
yes, I know, and the sad part is,we all have to live together, it's horrible when their own parents allow them to do this. And they will raise their kids to do the same.
I feel very badly for you...I think I wrote earlier, that we had the same problem with a neighbor. But I will tell you this, the entire community got together and took them to court....we filed a complaint, and the judge could not believe that the entire neighborhood showed up. We were shocked...but the judge heard each and every one who was there talk...and she fined them. Finally they moved....but I know how this can effect your life in a very bad way.
I'm so sorry your experiencing this....can you call a neighborhood meeting and all file a complaint. But before You do, I would contact the court and find out just what your rights are...find out how you file the complaint, take a video of the incidents....take pictures, keep logs....if the whole neighborhood gets together on this and does it the legal way, then you might have a chance. But they all must participate.
See, people today fear saying anything...b/c kids like this who don't care might retaliate....and the thought of what they might do or could do, is frightening.
I also think a yelling 10 year old autistic child is different than a yelling 10 month old baby. The autistic child probably would cause some confusion and uncomfortableness where the baby is more a normal situation and yes some might find it cute. Again in either situation i would NEVER say a word or leave a note...but i guess parents have to use their own discretion on what they do and how they react.
True...but looking at it from the flip side, there are situations in which parents don't really have a choice but to fly with their kids, but people pretty much always have alternatives to dining in at a restaurant (including getting take-out). And just as other patrons can't leave if they're bothered, the parents *can't* take the child outside like they can at a restaurant.
I was a single mother, and kids do cry from time to time and make noise - but if its a constant thing we went home if my son just could not be soothed. There are babysitters, after all.
Nevertheless the women who wrote the note were super rude.
Agreed. I have a bunch of kids. The occasional shriek from the younger crowd happens, it's age related and not particularly disruptive. Definitely different than an escalating tantrum. The former? We shush and stay in place. The latter and we leave the room. Most parents I know do the same.
The older ladies were inexcusably rude, if the article is accurate on that point. The proper response is to grab the waitstaff or a manager and mention it to them to resolve, either by reseating you or speaking to the family. Leaving nastygrams on someone's table is completely uncouth, even if the baby is shrieking. Passive aggressive and rude.
None of us were there and we are hearing the Mom's side of the story, but I do think it is telling the restaurant sides with her in their comments and actions. Makes me think the people there that night who were working were seeing something that didn't rise to the level of "needs banishment", because even TR has basic protocols for handling rude or unruly diners.
I'm seeing a lot of rosy glow of years on this thread - with the "my kids never..." and "I always...". It's easy to gloss over the less pleasant parenting phases on one's mind with time (I find myself doing it a bit with my oldest and she's not even a teen yet! It fades remarkably quickly) and forget how it really is. While some parents certainly handle things better or worse, the fact remains that there are more and less courteous ways to deal with parents and children in the public sphere and this verges on way less courteous. Talk to the management, move.
And yes, parents need to be vigilant and proactive in public for the sake of courtesy as well but a happy baby can shriek and talk and there isn't much for it except shushing a bit and hoping they catch on. It's not something that makes sense to leave a public space over, it isn't the same as a tantrum or fit, and the facts we can discern or the case from the manager and mom seem to indicate this kiddo wasn't crossing the line into inconsolable screaming crying mania.
Those older ladies, on the other hand, most definitely knew how to control and comport themselves and assuredly did not if they decided that was a socially appropriate response. Even if someone else is wrong, adding to the wrong fixes nothing.
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