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I also think a yelling 10 year old autistic child is different than a yelling 10 month old baby. The autistic child probably would cause some confusion and uncomfortableness where the baby is more a normal situation and yes some might find it cute. Again in either situation i would NEVER say a word or leave a note...but i guess parents have to use their own discretion on what they do and how they react.
it certainly is....however, I want to tell you, the restaurant we were at, when that child was screaming, every lets say, 5 minutes was excessive....everyone in the restaurant kept looking at them. And yes, perhaps the child was autistic, but the same applies to our family member....
there is nothing more rewarding to me, then when we took our child out, even before he was a toddler, and someone would walk up to us and say, "We just wanted to stop by and say hello and tell you how well behaved your baby is". And they would say "Thank you!" I didn't know what that really meant at the time, but surly understand now.
I wouldn't leave a note either, nor would I attempt to talk with the parents. I would feel that parents like that, who leave their child annoy others with not a care in the least, are not going to understand the meaning of "consideration for others" and probably loudly swear at you up and down, so, it wouldn't do any good anyway. Best to just rush thru dinner and leave.
When my kids were under 2 yrs old, my wife and I were very mindful of potential restaurant meltdowns. We would get a babysitter and go out just the 2 of us, or go to a child friendly or noisy restaurant, or eat earlier in the day before crowds came. 2 sides to every story, hard to judge without being there.
I see no point in trying to eat out if I'm so anxious that my kids are going to have outbursts. I'd rather hit the drive through and eat at home in peace.
I'm not suggesting that the ladies had a neuro issue....what I am saying is, to be aware next time you take your children out in public, b/c you never know who is sitting next to you.
I'm not assuming anything, except for the fact that it was an older couple...
oh, and someday, your going to get old....that won't make you any less of a human being.
As a cautionary the same way, never assume the child or parent is trying to be rude or discourteous with noise. My baby is special needs, and has impaired hearing as well as a brain injury. He is also entering the talky phase, hence why I responded on this thread. A hearing impaired baby with a brain injury is just not going to process noise and stimuli the same way a neurotypical baby is - the entire family is not going to be shut ins in just because he might decide to start vocalizing and literally can't hear how loud he gets and someone else thinks we don't deserve to be in their public space.
The tired, lonely special needs mom wrangling a bunch of kids might benefit a lot more from some kind comments than judgement. You never know who is sitting next to you
Agreed. I have a bunch of kids. The occasional shriek from the younger crowd happens, it's age related and not particularly disruptive. Definitely different than an escalating tantrum. The former? We shush and stay in place. The latter and we leave the room. Most parents I know do the same.
The older ladies were inexcusably rude, if the article is accurate on that point. The proper response is to grab the waitstaff or a manager and mention it to them to resolve, either by reseating you or speaking to the family. Leaving nastygrams on someone's table is completely uncouth, even if the baby is shrieking. Passive aggressive and rude.
None of us were there and we are hearing the Mom's side of the story, but I do think it is telling the restaurant sides with her in their comments and actions. Makes me think the people there that night who were working were seeing something that didn't rise to the level of "needs banishment", because even TR has basic protocols for handling rude or unruly diners.
I'm seeing a lot of rosy glow of years on this thread - with the "my kids never..." and "I always...". It's easy to gloss over the less pleasant parenting phases on one's mind with time (I find myself doing it a bit with my oldest and she's not even a teen yet! It fades remarkably quickly) and forget how it really is. While some parents certainly handle things better or worse, the fact remains that there are more and less courteous ways to deal with parents and children in the public sphere and this verges on way less courteous. Talk to the management, move.
And yes, parents need to be vigilant and proactive in public for the sake of courtesy as well but a happy baby can shriek and talk and there isn't much for it except shushing a bit and hoping they catch on. It's not something that makes sense to leave a public space over, it isn't the same as a tantrum or fit, and the facts we can discern or the case from the manager and mom seem to indicate this kiddo wasn't crossing the line into inconsolable screaming crying mania.
Those older ladies, on the other hand, most definitely knew how to control and comport themselves and assuredly did not if they decided that was a socially appropriate response. Even if someone else is wrong, adding to the wrong fixes nothing.
I wasn't there, so yes, you are on point....we don't know what happened....but, I have been on the other end of this, as some day, you will to...and we all have our noise levels when it begins to be disruptive and disturbing....
All I'm saying here is, lets discuss it, and take what you want from the discussion and leave the rest....
regardless of what kind of posts your seeing from (older folks) what difference does that make, so b/c your older your no longer considered a human being, or important? Not all older folks are old....and yes, we describe our circumstances b/c when we were growing up, yes it was different. Something were not good in those days, and some things were better....that's life...but my point in this discussion is, can't we all just please consider the person next to us in public....? that's all, no one is asking for the moon....and yes, there are parents who do take their babies outside when they become too disruptive.
Your input is valued....and consideration from every one makes for a much more enjoyable experience.
We're not discussing a baby crying a little, or whining a little, or even talking loud, we're talking about a baby screaming all throughout dinner, and this article reminded me of the two experiences I've shared here.
But yes, your right, none of us were there, so we don't really know.
I to think it was rude of them to leave a note....however, it seems to me, in these days, rude wins out....and escalates to personal attacks, rather then to sit back and think about it, and maybe consider that the complaints might have some validity to them.
it certainly is....however, I want to tell you, the restaurant we were at, when that child was screaming, every lets say, 5 minutes was excessive....everyone in the restaurant kept looking at them. And yes, perhaps the child was autistic, but the same applies to our family member....
there is nothing more rewarding to me, then when we took our child out, even before he was a toddler, and someone would walk up to us and say, "We just wanted to stop by and say hello and tell you how well behaved your baby is". And they would say "Thank you!" I didn't know what that really meant at the time, but surly understand now.
I wouldn't leave a note either, nor would I attempt to talk with the parents. I would feel that parents like that, who leave their child annoy others with not a care in the least, are not going to understand the meaning of "consideration for others" and probably loudly swear at you up and down, so, it wouldn't do any good anyway. Best to just rush thru dinner and leave.
Just wondering, how often have you been "loudly sworn at" by presumptuous parents who dared to bring a baby to a restaurant? Has it actually happened to you?
Because in THIS situation, the rude people were the older women.
I don't understand why it's hard for you to wrap your head around the FACT (as told to us) that the 2 women were in the wrong, and got kicked out. You are projecting and presuming an awful lot about these young parents and their happy baby.
As a cautionary the same way, never assume the child or parent is trying to be rude or discourteous with noise. My baby is special needs, and has impaired hearing as well as a brain injury. He is also entering the talky phase, hence why I responded on this thread. A hearing impaired baby with a brain injury is just not going to process noise and stimuli the same way a neurotypical baby is - the entire family is not going to be shut ins in just because he might decide to start vocalizing and literally can't hear how loud he gets and someone else thinks we don't deserve to be in their public space.
The tired, lonely special needs mom wrangling a bunch of kids might benefit a lot more from some kind comments than judgement. You never know who is sitting next to you
Just wondering, how often have you been "loudly sworn at" by presumptuous parents who dared to bring a baby to a restaurant? Has it actually happened to you?
Because in THIS situation, the rude people were the older women.
I don't understand why it's hard for you to wrap your head around the FACT (as told to us) that the 2 women were in the wrong, and got kicked out. You are projecting and presuming an awful lot about these young parents and their happy baby.
I have stated several times in my posts that Yes, the two women were wrong, and rude...and I wouldn't have done that myself. It isn't difficult to wrap your head around that....!
However, on a broader scope, which you seem to be unable to grasp, ( and I'm sorry for that) is the fact, that in this day and age, if you sat next to someone in a restaurant, who had a disturbing loud child and mustered up enough courage to say something to them, who had no contemplation of it, you might be met with an unpleasant experience.
now, like it or not, we all have a choice, and in this instance, most of us at least once in our lives have experienced the same situation...
I will keep hammering this. The baby was NOT screaming. I know how screams cut like a knife, but this baby was NOT screaming. You can say it a 100 times, but it's not true.
The baby was loud. Like everyone else in the restaurant. And I'll say it again...the manager identified who the problem was, and kicked them out.
How 1890s! Babies sleep when they are tired and eat when they are hungry. Keeping regular hours, btw, not equal "nap/sleep schedule".
Before my son was born I checked out day care centers. Any place that expected to put babies on schedules was rejected out of hand.
Different stokes for different folks, and I'm not going to debate whetehr it's right or wrong, just that it's possible. How is 'regular hours' not the same as a schedule? I'm fairly certain that at some point most parents 'train' babies to sleep through the night and eventually to eat when the rest of the family eats, it doesn't magically happen by itself over time. Of course there is potty training too, although I realize that can be a hotbed of opinions, but again the point is that training is possible even before kids are old enough to reason with.
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