17-year-old's girlfriend is pregnant. Help! (teenager, pregnancy, parents, girls)
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I know you're emotional and upset, but I don't think it's fair to judge the girl's parents when your son was 50% of the equation.
There's not much you can do now besides set up some sort of custody and child support arrangement. If your son still wants to go to school, he can do so online while he works. It's going to be tough, but it doesn't mean his future is irreparably damaged.
I would not be dumbfounded as to how it could happen.
I would not be angry at her parents. They weren’t having unprotected sex.
Should they be angry at you?
It is not the end of the world.
You said something similar to what I was going to say. The OP is mad at the kids and at her parents. Her parents may be mad at the OP, as well!
Life isn't over for your son, it is just taking a vastly different course.
He made of made a mistake, but the new life that is coming is not a mistake, it is a human.
People have been having kids at a young age for a long, long time...it happens, it is common. It doesn't mean your son or his gf's lives are over. Just different. I would encourage them to get married and stick it out. Encourage your son to still pursue his gifts but he might have to wait a bit, doesn't mean anything other than he has to wait a bit. Gifts still there, potential still there, many of the greatest people in the world do not take the straight/conventional path to achieve their potential.
Make sure your son gets a paternity test done before signing the birth certificate. If he finds out the child is not his later on he may still be on the hook.
I don't know why so many people assume he isn't able to go to college? Its his choice, but most 17 year old dads take off anyways. At least if he is in college, he is bettering the future for himself and his child. Maybe he will choose to stay closer to be in the baby's life on a daily basis. Maybe not.
The idea of encouraging a 17 year old to get married because of a pregnancy is pretty startling. On what planet is that going to turn out well?
Make sure your son gets a paternity test done before signing the birth certificate. If he finds out the child is not his later on he may still be on the hook.
depending on the state. But a test and checking the laws are a good idea. He might not be willing to if he is in love with the girl...but its worth a non-threatening conversation. I have heard over and over approx. 1/4-1/3 of fathers are misidentified.
Your local child support enforcement program will do the paternity test, unless he stipulates that it is his, and help the court set the support amount for the child. Not the end of the world so keep your perspective.
The idea of encouraging a 17 year old to get married because of a pregnancy is pretty startling. On what planet is that going to turn out well?
Yeah, that's pretty much the worst thing they can do right now. All the money they're going to eventually spend on divorce lawyers would be better off invested in a college fund for the baby.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 12 days ago)
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If anyone thinks I'm suggesting they get married, I'm not. My friend did that and made it work but that was a generation ago when it was more expected that you get married if you were pregnant and wanted to keep the baby.
I'm suggesting maybe this was a purposeful act - that both of them intended to get pregnant, and he is now happy about it and didn't want to go to school in the first place.
Which is an entirely different problem from dealing with an accidental pregnancy and a son who very much wants to go to college.
Last edited by ClaraC; 01-17-2018 at 12:41 PM..
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