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Old 01-17-2018, 03:42 PM
 
11,535 posts, read 16,312,962 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nurse Bishop View Post
Considering the father is a 17 year old boy, most likely this was an impulsive accident. There is a solution to this problem that hasn't been mentioned for some reason. I'm not going to say it, but it occurs to many.
If asked by beating around the bush.
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Old 01-17-2018, 03:43 PM
 
961 posts, read 521,283 times
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I would suggest help from a professional family counselor for both the teens and the parents involved. All possibilities and expectations should be calmly presented and explored.

Everyone has emotions running high at the moment which is not a good situation for long- term decision making. If the boy wants to go to college he should go. Hopefully it will better his circumstances to support his child until adulthood.

Is the girl's family excited enough to have her live at home with the baby? Personally I would consult a lawyer to find out what monetary support might be required. Definitely add a paternity test.

Adoption is not necessarily considered abandonment by those who are adopted. In fact, many are very appreciative of the stable life their birth parents gave them through adoption.

Teen parents often end up as single parents and it is a pretty rough start in life both financially and emotionally. Some never overcome the odds. Just take a look at the single mothers and children in homeless shelters. I think it is much harder to succeed today with the higher price of education, rent, daycare, etc.
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Old 01-17-2018, 04:11 PM
 
9,205 posts, read 11,035,529 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nurse Bishop View Post
Considering the father is a 17 year old boy, most likely this was an impulsive accident. There is a solution to this problem that hasn't been mentioned for some reason. I'm not going to say it, but it occurs to many.
I was thinking the same thing.......heck the 'morning after pill" would have been a good idea!
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Old 01-17-2018, 04:23 PM
 
410 posts, read 930,959 times
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I've read all the responses and I appreciate them. They've all been thought-provoking. This only came about 3 days ago so not much has been said between he and I. I'm trying to formulate what to say as I don't want to say things I'll regret, that's why I posted here. I do realize this is probably the most significant event of his life (now and in the future) and I do want to help him through it. I have no choice. He has no other family to speak of.

I do want to say that I feel I did everything right. He had access to condoms (a box was always available in our house) and I had plenty of talks with him. I let him visit her on the weekends and he was always home by 9 or 10 as I asked. He is after all 17. They were always at her parents' house. I do think the girl's parents will be happy to have her and the baby living with them. They are Catholic so there is really no other option as keep (or not) the baby. He's a very likeable guy and the parents like him a lot.

I had begun to think that his relationship with her was cooling, and I was getting ready to ask about it. He tends to tire of situations fairly quickly and they had been a thing for a year. He was excited about college (had been accepted at two), and was in the process of trying to get accepted into a specialized music school with a more involved application process. Someone upthread said something that I suspect may have some merit. I'm wondering if the girl did it to keep him close. I know by her Facebook posts that she is completely head-over-heels for him and thinks he is the best thing that ever happened to her. So, there's that.

My biggest concern is that he has never been very responsible and tends to extract himself from (or ignore) situations where some responsibility is needed.
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Old 01-17-2018, 04:23 PM
 
7,976 posts, read 4,382,181 times
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in the old day, they got pregnant at 16
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Old 01-17-2018, 04:28 PM
 
Location: Texas
6,141 posts, read 2,220,235 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soonerguy View Post
I'm wondering if the girl did it to keep him close. .
She might have skipped on birth control purposely, but there is no way to will one's self pregnant. She also couldn't have done it on her own. It takes two people to create a pregnancy.
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Old 01-17-2018, 04:31 PM
 
410 posts, read 930,959 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
She might have skipped on birth control purposely, but there is no way to will one's self pregnant. She also couldn't have done it on her own. It takes two people to create a pregnancy.
I blame them both equally.
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Old 01-17-2018, 04:34 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,071 posts, read 13,675,418 times
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I predict hospital bill for birth, and a lot of the bills baby brings will be paid for through government aid.

There's no incentive to keep them from doing just that.

I've seen it in every type of family situation (wealthy, middle class, poor) too many times to count. The unmarried female goes right to gov't agency to sign up for all the free benefits. Unmarried father accepts that as a rescue and god send and is relieved to be off hook. No hard lessons learned and repeat usually happens until relationship is (easily, because not married) is over. Look around how many people do you know like that? We all know a bunch. We all have them in our families or extended.
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Old 01-17-2018, 04:38 PM
 
Location: Central, NJ
2,300 posts, read 4,787,412 times
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I would encourage him to still go to school. All of the choices don't belong to the girl.
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Old 01-17-2018, 04:44 PM
 
410 posts, read 930,959 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by picklejuice View Post
I predict hospital bill for birth, and a lot of the bills baby brings will be paid for through government aid.

There's no incentive to keep them from doing just that.

I've seen it in every type of family situation (wealthy, middle class, poor) too many times to count. The unmarried female goes right to gov't agency to sign up for all the free benefits. Unmarried father accepts that as a rescue and god send and is relieved to be off hook. No hard lessons learned and repeat usually happens until relationship is (easily, because not married) is over. Look around how many people do you know like that? We all know a bunch. We all have them in our families or extended.
I don't disagree. That's what I worked to prevent for 10 years, but failed at.
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