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I don't think anybody is getting what you are saying. They hold on to that paranoia like a three year old with a teddy bear. To them, we all should be hiding in our houses with the drapes drawn because there are monsters everywhere, lurking, waiting for our kids to walk out the door so they can pounce on them and rape them. They hold tight to the notion that every stranger they see will molest or rape their kids. Every person in their neighborhood is a pervert.
To live with that paranoia with no rhyme or reason, must be exhausting.
Knowing who the sex offenders are and not living near them and treating that as what's going to keep your kids safe creates a very false illusion of safety.
This comment that I made here almost makes it seem like I support some form of paranoia...just not actively checking the registry and their addresses....that's NOT what I meant.
What I mean is that the danger is not most likely the people on that list.
I ALSO want to say that kids who are overprotected because their parents are so obsessively concerned about sex offenders can turn out very bad. I've seen parents say things like "Me being overprotective will never hurt my child"...that couldn't be more wrong.
There's NO way to elmininate the risk. But people don't seem to have a clue about the best ways to REDUCE the risks and then stop worrying about and actually LIVE A LIFE and let their kids live lives.
For some reason, an awful lot of people think that 'protecting' their children is keeping them away from harm. THAT's the false sense of security.
The ONLY way to protect kids, is to teach them how to deal with dangers themselves; to rely on themselves to take care of themselves.
Kids learn nothing by a parent's paranoia, only to be afraid. It was posted that paranoia damages the kids. You're darn right it does. What we're getting is a generation of kids unable to discern real danger. All they see is perceived danger in every place they go, and with everything they do, with every person they encounter.
It's time for parents to arm their kids with good sense instead of fear; to arm them with the tools they need to survive the real and outside world. Wrapping the kids in cotton and 'protecting' them from any and every danger does not teach them to handle each one on their own.
Not every adult on that list, young or old, is waiting to molest and rape your child. They simply aren't. That registry was intended to alert people so they're aware, but what it has done is strike fear in neighborhoods. It has people on it who don't belong, only making their lives a living hell. It focuses parents on 'THE LIST' instead of making them aware of real dangers around them.
Kids need to learn how to handle themselves and not be afraid of everything and everybody.
For some reason, an awful lot of people think that 'protecting' their children is keeping them away from harm. THAT's the false sense of security.
The ONLY way to protect kids, is to teach them how to deal with dangers themselves; to rely on themselves to take care of themselves.
Kids learn nothing by a parent's paranoia, only to be afraid. It was posted that paranoia damages the kids. You're darn right it does. What we're getting is a generation of kids unable to discern real danger. All they see is perceived danger in every place they go, and with everything they do, with every person they encounter.
It's time for parents to arm their kids with good sense instead of fear; to arm them with the tools they need to survive the real and outside world. Wrapping the kids in cotton and 'protecting' them from any and every danger does not teach them to handle each one on their own.
Not every adult on that list, young or old, is waiting to molest and rape your child. They simply aren't. That registry was intended to alert people so they're aware, but what it has done is strike fear in neighborhoods. It has people on it who don't belong, only making their lives a living hell. It focuses parents on 'THE LIST' instead of making them aware of real dangers around them.
Kids need to learn how to handle themselves and not be afraid of everything and everybody.
Not to open up another can of worms, but I also hope that those who are worried about this the most are not only being vigilant about people they can potentially physically see in their neighborhoods, but also being vigilant about who their children are coming into contact with through technology devices. This is another topic for another thread but you have more to worry about there actually.
That's actually true probably. BUT, the thing is this is more likely to affect teenagers than younger children. As much as I feel that even teenagers need to be protected from stuff like this, it's more prudent to teach kids to protect themselves....ESPECIALLY by the time they are teenagers.
You should monitor computers in your house...but what about when your kids go to friends' houses and use their computers. Will you not let them go to friend's houses because you are afraid of what they can do on the computer? That's honestly far more likely to cause harm than good.
By the time kids are old enough to have a lot of unsupervised computer time, they are old enough to understand the dangers if the potential dangers are made clear.
The reality is that by the time they are this age they absolutely HAVE to be learning how to protect themselves.
Last edited by afoigrokerkok; 02-08-2009 at 08:57 AM..
I'd also STRONGLY support changing the sex offender "list" to include only offenders who molested or kidnapped children under the age of say 13 or 14 or who forcibly raped a person of any age. No public indecency, public urination, statutory rape, etc. I don't necessarily have a problem with the list include people with public indecency offenses that involved them exposing themselves to CHILDREN. I also wouldn't have a problem really if the list only included statutory rape offenders if they were say a minimum 6 or 7 years older than the child. (I'm not saying that statutory rape shouldn't be a crime at all..just saying that we need to determine who is the worst of the worst and limit the "list" to those)
I also don't understand WHY we have "sex offender lists" but not "murderer lists" or "drug dealer lists" or "child abuse lists" (I mean physical abuse that isn't sexual). I get the fact that sex offenses are viewed differently than these offenses and I understand that it's just different and the "perversion" factor exists that doesn't exist with other crimes. But you HAVE to realize there are TONS of other bad things that can happen too. People also have to realize that even with ALL the bad things that can happen...it is not worth letting it run your life. The consequences of that can be VERY severe too.
You aren't differentiating between a sex offender and a pedophile. Pedophilia is an actual disorder from which I don't believe people can be cured. I have read that some pedophiles have never acted on their feelings by viciously suppressing them but for the most part I think they should be in mental institutions getting help for the rest of their lives. Sex offenders don't necessarily reoffend EVERY TIME! Recidivism rates are relatively low so your assertion holds no weight and is simply an overreaction.
I completely agree with what you say about teaching children to protect themselves and I think these sites are useful to know where the sex offenders live. My concern, based on the way some people on this board speak, is that you'll round up a posse and run them out of town or something. You may not like that they have rights, but luckily my Constitution stands between you and their rights.
I am not overreacting. My concern is the pedophiles in my area. Am I planning on getting a posse together? No. Do I want one living by me? NO!! I have not read anywhere on here that someone was planning a posse either. We are concerned for our childrens safety and appreciate the websites that give us information - especially the description. When I read that someone was convicted of a violent crime against a child under 14 years old I wonder how they ever got out of jail in the first place.
I don't think anybody is getting what you are saying. They hold on to that paranoia like a three year old with a teddy bear. To them, we all should be hiding in our houses with the drapes drawn because there are monsters everywhere, lurking, waiting for our kids to walk out the door so they can pounce on them and rape them. They hold tight to the notion that every stranger they see will molest or rape their kids. Every person in their neighborhood is a pervert.
To live with that paranoia with no rhyme or reason, must be exhausting.
There is a difference between paranoia and knowing what goes on around you & who is living in your area so you can protect your children. Should I just be blind to it? Would that be better for my children?
As I stated before, we all need to teach our children to protect themselves and be aware of what is going on around them. Not to talk to strangers, get in the car with anyone, go into someones house, ect.
The neighbors have a huge dog that is not very friendly. I tell the kids never to go near that dog. If I knew a neighbor had committed a crime against a child I would tell the kids never to go near that house. USE the information that is available to you, without going overboard or becoming paranoid.
Loved your quote Miasmommy, "once an offender, always an offender".How very true! I recently talked with an RSO, who is in his 50's. He molested a girl who is only 7 yrs old, and he is a level 3 offender. He got very beligerant with me, using the cop-out that everyone makes mistakes, and we should forget what he did. Even tho he started molesting when he was in his young teens. The only mistake he made was touching a girl, that was brave enough to step foward, otherwise he would still be doing this. I am positive his name will be in the paper again for molesting, and maybe this time they will put him away for good.
There is a difference between paranoia and knowing what goes on around you & who is living in your area so you can protect your children. Should I just be blind to it? Would that be better for my children?
I'm against paranoia...but I think DO parents need to be aware of who the bad guys are. The points are:
1. Some "sex offenders" on your coveted list are not the type you should really be so afraid of.
2. The statistics speak for themselves...it's rarely a stranger who does these terrible things to a child.
3. There are MANY things to worry about other than just sex offenses.
4. The risk of harming your children by being paranoid and overprotective is much greater than the risk of them actually being hurt by one of these people.
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