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I like to read horror stories, and am currently making my way through Rod Serling's Night Gallery television series. A former coworker asked if this stuff gave me nightmares. No, not at all. However, the thought of being married to someone like the above is truly terrifying.
That was a great series.
The Sins of the Father gave me nightmares!
And then there was the one with the bug in the ear...
When we decided to get married, we divvied up bills by the ratio of our pay. He made about double what I made so he paid double the bills. But if I wanted a new car or new phone or whatever, I would apply for the loan or pay for it outright, whatever the situation called for.
We kept our separate checking accounts but we put each other ON the separate checking accounts, if that makes sense. We just got one debit card per checking account but we can both see the activity on all accounts. Technically we are co owners. This has worked very well for us for fifteen years.
When I entered my fifties, all four of our parents got very sick and needed a lot of care. We're married, these were OUR parents, and we loved all four of them. Since my husband had the more lucrative job, he continued working and I quit my full time job in banking to take care of our parents. My husband replaced my paycheck with bi monthly deposits from his checking account into mine. Thankfully right about the time our parents began needing so much help, he became self employed and his pay significantly increased. Honestly, we never felt the loss of my job in any significant way. I realize that's a blessing.
Anyway, one by one over five years our parents died. It was very sad. Also, one of my brothers got cancer and died. He lived out of state so I spent a lot of time traveling back and forth his last year especially. He was married and I was very close to he and his wife and it comforted all of us for me to visit often.
Now it's been a few months and frankly, everyone is dead and I'm 57 and haven't worked in a professional capacity in nearly 6 years. I do work part time in our business but that's not like getting up and going to work every day.
My husband and I discussed it but we decided that I may as well not go back to work. I do a lot of volunteer work but when he is home, I am home and we both like that a lot.
I like that I still have autonomy by having my own checking account and my own spending money. It also keeps me on a budget when it comes to frivolous or "entertainment only" expenses.
And then there was the one with the bug in the ear...
I just watched those two (both season 2). I had not previously heard of sin-eaters, so I did a web search. There actually were cultures with sin-eaters. The one with the bug in the ear: the bug was an earwig, but the title was The Caterpillar. I'm thinking of doing a remake of The Caterpillar, where the bug is an earworm, and the victim has the song It's a Small World (After All) running through their mind continuously!
Back to finances: Dave Ramsey says a successful marriage requires combining finances. While it's a moot point since I am single never married, I can't imagine a relationship without each spouse having some amount of discretionary income of their own to spend as they like.
When we decided to get married, we divvied up bills by the ratio of our pay. He made about double what I made so he paid double the bills. But if I wanted a new car or new phone or whatever, I would apply for the loan or pay for it outright, whatever the situation called for.
We kept our separate checking accounts but we put each other ON the separate checking accounts, if that makes sense. We just got one debit card per checking account but we can both see the activity on all accounts. Technically we are co owners. This has worked very well for us for fifteen years.
When I entered my fifties, all four of our parents got very sick and needed a lot of care. We're married, these were OUR parents, and we loved all four of them. Since my husband had the more lucrative job, he continued working and I quit my full time job in banking to take care of our parents. My husband replaced my paycheck with bi monthly deposits from his checking account into mine. Thankfully right about the time our parents began needing so much help, he became self employed and his pay significantly increased. Honestly, we never felt the loss of my job in any significant way. I realize that's a blessing.
Anyway, one by one over five years our parents died. It was very sad. Also, one of my brothers got cancer and died. He lived out of state so I spent a lot of time traveling back and forth his last year especially. He was married and I was very close to he and his wife and it comforted all of us for me to visit often.
Now it's been a few months and frankly, everyone is dead and I'm 57 and haven't worked in a professional capacity in nearly 6 years. I do work part time in our business but that's not like getting up and going to work every day.
My husband and I discussed it but we decided that I may as well not go back to work. I do a lot of volunteer work but when he is home, I am home and we both like that a lot.
I like that I still have autonomy by having my own checking account and my own spending money. It also keeps me on a budget when it comes to frivolous or "entertainment only" expenses.
It works well for both of us.
So sorry to hear about all the family illnesses and deaths. I'll bet you were so grateful to be able to take that time to be with them all during their last days.
Our money is pooled. Then we pay the bills, pay the savings accounts, fund a "general ****" budget item and then split the remainder equally as fun spending money.
We went out with a couple a while ago who did the mine mine thing. They dickered over how the bill for dinner should be split and ended up taking out a calculator (well actually a phone) and adding it up. "Your steak was more than my pasta.
But you had wine and I only had two beers." Then they argued over how the tip should be divided since she wanted to tip 15% but he insisted on 20%. Then he did not have enough money to pay for his share of their dinner bill and had to ask her for a loan. She started scolding him because he had not paid her back from borrowing money from her the weekend before. He started arguing that she should pay for more of things because she made twice as much as he did, but he did more chores. Then they argued for a while about who did more chores, and when he won that argument, they argued about what those chores were worth. She said it was minimum wage and he said it was the value of her time at work since she would have to do the chores if he didn't. Finally i just paid for his dinner to get them to shut up. She was blatantly peeved that i did not pay for hers as well.
i wonder if they were curious why we never went to dinner with them again?
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coldjensens
Our money is pooled. Then we pay the bills, pay the savings accounts, fund a "general ****" budget item and then split the remainder equally as fun spending money.
We went out with a couple a while ago who did the mine mine thing. They dickered over how the bill for dinner should be split and ended up taking out a calculator (well actually a phone) and adding it up. "Your steak was more than my pasta.
But you had wine and I only had two beers." Then they argued over how the tip should be divided since she wanted to tip 15% but he insisted on 20%. Then he did not have enough money to pay for his share of their dinner bill and had to ask her for a loan. She started scolding him because he had not paid her back from borrowing money from her the weekend before. He started arguing that she should pay for more of things because she made twice as much as he did, but he did more chores. Then they argued for a while about who did more chores, and when he won that argument, they argued about what those chores were worth. She said it was minimum wage and he said it was the value of her time at work since she would have to do the chores if he didn't. Finally i just paid for his dinner to get them to shut up. She was blatantly peeved that i did not pay for hers as well.
i wonder if they were curious why we never went to dinner with them again?
They sound like a total train wreck............
I couldn't be with an unsuccessful or miserly man with his time or money..........they haven't grown up yet IMO.......
It's not the structure of the finances or the sexual orientation of the partners. It's agreeing on common goals and priorities.
Yes, this.
People who complain about the opposite sex being moochers usually didn't do the above before they got married. As another poster said, people generally s*ck at picking long term mates. That's one reason why many societies came up with arranged or quasi-arranged marriage.
People who complain about the opposite sex being moochers usually didn't do the above before they got married. As another poster said, people generally s*ck at picking long term mates. That's one reason why many societies came up with arranged or quasi-arranged marriage.
Agree. Only time will determine if your choices were good. And if they were bad, then divorce is always an option - just do so before you could be liable for alimony!
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