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I know several people in a situation similar to the OP. One of them is my youngest brother. I hope he is on the right track now but it still remains to be seen. Here is my advice.
Rather than worrying about managing your money, focus on managing your time. Make sure that you do something productive at least 12 hours a weekday and 5 hours a day on the weekend. Minimize internet browsing and TV, and when you interact with your friends, focus on activities with time constraints such as going for a walk or a lunch date (although nothing extravagant). Don't just hang out and waste time. Don't just be busy being busy. You will be amazed how much you can get done with time discipline. A side benefit of being busy is that you don't have as many opportunities to spend your money.
Once you identify that you do in fact have spare time, work on monetizing some of that time. It is not nearly as hard as you think. You probably have skills that are marketable that you do not realize. Reading, writing, driving, clerical work, babysitting, dog walking... all can earn significantly more than minimum wage and are not actually hard labor. When I was a graduate student I installed split rail fence on weekends for two summers. It was back-breaking work digging post holes and carrying heavy posts into back yards that weren't truck accessible, but I easily made $200 a weekend from April to October. It may take a bit to find a good gig but the longer you work on it the more opportunities you find.
I know several people in a situation similar to the OP. One of them is my youngest brother. I hope he is on the right track now but it still remains to be seen. Here is my advice.
Rather than worrying about managing your money, focus on managing your time. Make sure that you do something productive at least 12 hours a weekday and 5 hours a day on the weekend. Minimize internet browsing and TV, and when you interact with your friends, focus on activities with time constraints such as going for a walk or a lunch date (although nothing extravagant). Don't just hang out and waste time. Don't just be busy being busy. You will be amazed how much you can get done with time discipline. A side benefit of being busy is that you don't have as many opportunities to spend your money.
Once you identify that you do in fact have spare time, work on monetizing some of that time. It is not nearly as hard as you think. You probably have skills that are marketable that you do not realize. Reading, writing, driving, clerical work, babysitting, dog walking... all can earn significantly more than minimum wage and are not actually hard labor. When I was a graduate student I installed split rail fence on weekends for two summers. It was back-breaking work digging post holes and carrying heavy posts into back yards that weren't truck accessible, but I easily made $200 a weekend from April to October. It may take a bit to find a good gig but the longer you work on it the more opportunities you find.
I feel really terrible for essentially throwing my parents under the bus. They're fine. Their debt isn't that great.
I might be delusional to some but I won't apologize for the way I feel and my beliefs. Call me names, stop replying to this thread, whatever. It is what it is. I promise I can take it.
If you don't have any other suggestions besides getting rid of tithing and life insurance, then it might be best for you to just stop replying.
Actually you're the one that needs to stop replying. All of us that have responded to you are in much, much, MUCH better financial health than you. This is an area of our lives that we worked on, worked through and in many cases gave sacrifices for. We know what we are talking about and you don't care, you don't want to hear it. You've your "beliefs". Uh huh... You do... And they're going to hold you back. That's your sacrifice for keeping them. So get on with it then and stop complaining.
1. I have no plans to kill myself. While I feel my situation is terrible, I'm definitely not suicidal. I feel like I'm "throwing them under the bus" by bringing up their financial situation to random strangers on the internet.
2. My church is in decent financial shape. I'm open to lowering my tithes but not stopping altogether.
3. I'll shop around for a cheaper car insurance.
4. My cell phone is only $44 a month. It's prepaid.
Actually you're the one that needs to stop replying. All of us that have responded to you are in much, much, MUCH better financial health than you. This is an area of our lives that we worked on, worked through and in many cases gave sacrifices for. We know what we are talking about and you don't care, you don't want to hear it. You've your "beliefs". Uh huh... You do... And they're going to hold you back. That's your sacrifice for keeping them. So get on with it then and stop complaining.
OP- I have a question for you. Would you be willing to set up a meeting with your pastor ask for their guidance on what an appropriate amount of tithe would be acceptable for you, given your current income and other financial obligations?
OP- I have a question for you. Would you be willing to set up a meeting with your pastor ask for their guidance on what an appropriate amount of tithe would be acceptable for you, given your current income and other financial obligations?
To me the $25 month for life insurance is peanuts. I'm sure I spend that on just incidentals each month.
Tithing seems excessive. When you talk to your pastor see if there is something you can volunteer for that would save the church money and could be considered part of your tithe; something they have to pay for that you could do.
I don't understand why you have such a large car payment. I buy used cars and put a car payment in the bank in savings, for when it was needed. Each successive car is better than the one before because I have more cash. My current car I've had for five years with no problems. It's a 2010 and was five years old when I bought it, for cash.
I have a hard time understanding why you have such a large debt and payment on the car.
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