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Any discussion about the relationship between the black man and the black woman would be dishonest to not acknowledge the role that colorism/featurism and misogyny play.
In my world, most of the black people around me (black women and black men) are marrying non-blacks. Seeing a young (under age 40-50) black couple is unicorn RARE in my neck of the woods.
You are in a rare neck of the woods then, because the actual numbers say otherwise.
There is an issue with black women choosing to reproduce with low quality black men, and then looking towards society acting like quality black men don't exist. That's a huge problem with black women. I know too many black men who have great jobs, are great leaders, and very positive. They will invariably get ignored for so low brow loser with jeans sagging and a bad attitude. I use to think this was just for low quality black women and hood rats, but I see middle class and upper middle class women falling into this.
And then we create the cycle of single parents, and women raising single boys, who grow up to be moronic due to a lack of male leadership. A lot of issues with the moderen black man comes from the single black mother. And we have single black mothers because black women are procreating with black men who have no values.
Why is it all on the women?
Did you see the stats on CD about black men making white women single moms too?
Now, this is a post that begins to address the element.. Racism!!! yes, after 100's of years of that institution, where the systems mandate was to divide and conquer, well if if you think that divide was just between blacks and whites, you are not paying attention. That divide had to have the premise in its function to create divide within the black people, and within that group of people, it needed a secondary divide, which was a divide between the black man and the black woman..
Now the point of the matter is simple. Overcoming all those divides gave the dominator's means to see when one may over come one divide, they'd pursue to over come the next. So, if the man and woman was overcoming the divide between them, there was a system, of either, take the woman and rape the woman and make sure the man knows, and make sure her shame becomes a wedge, while at the same time, forcing the care of a baby from rape in the mix, so he is to never forget, that the master can have his woman at any time. If they over came that, then there was always, selling of the kids, or selling of the wife or husband.
Listen people.. Slavery was no joke. EVERY ASPECT OF LIFE was factors, and script in place for complete dominance, that why it was called slavery.
To make a slave means to "take everything" including their name, and their sense and concept of spirituality and damage their soul with pain and despaire, where you have total submission and total dominance over those whom you enslave.
Therefore, when Slavery was abolish, there was not programs to help people learn the steps out of slavery or how to unwind centuries of damage. They were cast out, in destitution and left desperate, because the former slave masters were angry they could not longer get free labor, and no longer force by malice of whip and condemnation under his rule the labor from the people.
So, the social design was to deny opportunity and wait for desperation to fore people to accept less than they were due, and the sacrifice was they had to give up everything to take that job, and it provided only enough to barely feed their young. To assure that man and woman would separate, the same game of using black men as studs was interjected, where the only way he could be given a regard of esteem was based on how many women he could bed, not how many children he could take care of.
People, realize, that the system of slavery invaded every law, every social function and system and the whole of society, and just because one was given the opportunity to not be tied down to the plantation did not mean he was free to enjoin society and become on equality and equilibrium with white society nor white ideas, because he had economic disparity, and many of the other chains that he could not even get to seeing, because they were layered upon him so thing and deep, until he breaks one, only to find another ......
So... if one is not going to re-adjust and modify the aims of the post, to go into the depth of structure, then they are only dealing with a surface level, of symptoms, and not dealing with the root of the condition.
If you really want to engage this subject. I've many post that give many aspects of reflective invocation to pursue further inquiry...
But, why not first come to lay out some Identity of what is slavery, and how it was structured to function..
Because many have not a clue in that realm of understanding, before it goes into trying to deal with various dynamics of what has culminated into current day conditions.
The past, is a great teacher, but it requires a dedicated student, if one expect to become a capable and functioning figure in grooming offspring for the future.
When you find truths on here or any place, how much do you share it to enlighten other? many simply don't. We don't even share the political necessity, which is why we have so much apahty in the black communities when it comes to political awareness... but it was political decision that sanctioned the bondage, that it took political decisions to unlock the shackles.
But, how many truly deal with this, other than surface level bickering and everyone walks away less aware of factors and facts and more wound up in uncontrollable emotions, but have learned nothing that can infuse the associates and the future generations of how to learn to grow.. Because nature makes one grow, but to learn "how to grow"is what matters.
Too many people are lost into hair, nails, cars, gadgets, trucks and status labels and such, until, we have no ideas what truly matters and we waster our resources pushing external imagery, when our minds are starved to oblivion for the truths that give its the will to become what God gave it capability to be and do.
Centuries of ChallengesOne cannot ignore the past and expect to understand all the thing of the elements that make up what is the present. We did not appear in life yesterday, we are the outcome of many centuries of what has existed in the history of mankind living.
Isn't there enough issue and challenges within the individual self, of Man, of Woman, whether black or white, as an INDIVIDUAL to deal with. We have much to learn, and trying to be blind to the past will serve to make man only repeat the mistakes of the past, lest he become aware and knowledgeable, and choose to work within himself to pursue the spiritual value that make him honor God and be of worthiness unto Gods Principles. So, running from what you can't hide from, only makes one become foolish, through ones own denials.
Slavery IMPACTED EVERYONE and it DEVASTATED SOME AND DELUDED OTHERS.
Don't read this and assume it applied to every single person, because over 200+ years and millions of people, the "details contain many variables and variations, and in no way can cover all things. Remember:Countless books have been written about the many details of these scenario's, movies made and other presentations presented, and one has to consider what is Centuries of Time, to grasp the expanse and extend of things. None of us here have even lived "one century" and we'd seen much. So, what covered many centuries, the details are astronomical among the millions of lives involved.
Perspective Generalizations:
~~~The Black man was repressed, suppressed, contained and detained into bondage and violence against him for any act of thought driven effort to stand as an independent man. He could not defend his woman, nor protect her individualism, or stand in her defense when rapist came in the nights. he had no resources and no voice, and was beat or the threat of taking his wife or children if he made effort to do either or any. he was used as if to be a stud, and then only give regard of being manly based on his stud activity, If he showed or demonstrated knowledge and wisdom, he was beat down to force him into submission. He had not the rights or means to protect his children, as they could be sold off or killed and he had no recourse to address.
~~~Black women were worked and many raped, and violated when she chose to love, by having her body invaded by white man, and her considerations forcibly extracted from her for the fancy of white mans wants of pleasure and left with babies not of her free choice. She had to use her body when she was put in position of forced rape, to find means to gain some influence in the mind of the rapist, for the protections of herself and her family, as well as to try and fend off wrath which may have been targeted to the abuse of other slaves, then she was ridiculed, because she found means to manipulate favor, for herself and her family to ease the distresses of the tortuousness life and its situations under the white mans brutality, then she face wrath from the white woman, who had no means to challenge or compete with her to for the attentions of the white man to come to her bed.
~~~White women, were set up as show pieces, she had no rights, she had no independence to make choices to be or do, as she could own nothing, she could not vote, and if he was not of pleasure to the man, she was cast out. She could not claim or demand virtue from the man, so she was left with a fiction of want of such, with the full knowing that the man would at times ignore her to get to the slave quarters throughout the nights, he role was to look good and get in the bed on demand and perform on Que and do fanciful motivation as if she could not live without it. He bought her things, and gave her material comforts, but she was considered too, as his property. White women had a mix of some with contention and some with sympathies for the black woman, because the white women knew, she was property too, but some did not see it as such, but either way, the white woman, who had no means to challenge or compete with the black woman for the attentions of the white man to come to her bed. She could be mean and abuse to the black woman, but she could not say anything to the white man, or she would face either being discarded or simply ignored and left to face her role as an ornamental accouterment, that provided company and pleasure, and served as a prop for social image standards to aid him, in promoting his image of himself to the social environment.
~~~White Man, chose for himself, to be an become like a Dictator over others, for the pursuits, desires and his wants of wealth and power. Those became the base of what his life value was based upon. He had no limits to what he would do in pursuit of such. He could discard white woman, without concern, and choose another, if she lost her smile, failed to perform, did not produce offspring's, and gained wrinkles upon her face, she was replaceable. Pursuits of social image is all them kept her safe from being toss off, when he was no longer in want or demand of her providing him pleasure. He deluded himself, to think he was more than a man, and became a brutal monster that engaged in torture and deaths for both pleasure and images of power and disgust at the fact that he could not be the master of all things. He developed a mindset and mentality, that if he could not have it, he would destroy, if he could not control he would damage, if he could not possess he would kill. He made money his God and Religion a pretense to cover his mind driven by the acts of deceptions. He valued only money, he would kill other man, black or white, to gain money, and he would cheat, lie and steal by any means he could craft for the graft gaming to get more money. He pushed laws to cover his malice and crafted them, so as to buy his way out the back door, by bribery, coercion and the use of money and power to defeat the same laws, he crafted to cover his malice, more than to protect others. It was a design for him, to fight off others like himself in skin color, and to assure himself against the black man gaining any rights or stature. He contorted religion for his sake to hide his day to day non christian acts, and showed up on Sunday to push fictions of being a Christian of which his day to day actions demonstrated that he was not. He put money and the pursuit of it above any and all principles of virtue, and with wealth he tried to buy image and stature as a pretense of a virtue, he did not possess nor did he live to uphold and support.
When Slavery Ended - The Wealthy White Man became enraged, for his pathway to free money became to face him, and his wealth he felt at risk. He again, went to craft laws, push policy that would give him a upper hand to enact his rage upon and against black people, as well as to fight against lesser wealthy white men, to try to maintain his position as being in domination of all things and over other people. The Wealthy white man was determined to force the poor white man into the mode of pawns for his own protections and to maintain his position of dominance, and in doing, he pitted the poor white man against the black man, to assure neither of them would find equilibrium with him, not on an economic level, not on a social level and not on a civic level, and fed the illusion to the poor white man, that no matter how poor, his skin made him better than a black man.
He spent 100's of years crafting this craziness, and during the many decades, he paid scholars to write out any fiction to try and support the delusions he sold unto the poor white man, and time continues to demonstrate that the fiction and delusions have been nothing but fiction and delusions. Yet, with such passed on for generations, the habit pattern has made people become bias, and bigoted, hoping to gain some semblance of that fiction and chase those delusions, and the more despair he finds, the more enraged he becomes, for fears that he has to accept that he is no better as a individual or human being above the black man.
If one wants details, study history and look at the multitudes of Countless books which have been written about the many details of these scenario's, movies made and other presentations presented.
The pursuit of money and the pursuit of power and the accessibility to such, has been dangled like a carrot on a stick, has been the tool continually used to promote and support the fiction and delusions. That has driven many bias, prejudices, bigotry, racism, and all the ills and horrors that have evolved over much time into the continuing dissensions that to this day impact and confound many, in an ongoing saturation.
If one wants to find truths in this day and age, learn from history, focus on what it takes to strengthen your spiritual self, and work on being a better person, who upholds the values of the God principle. You can't ignore the past, or sweep it under a rug and think all is OK, you have to continue to learn, but as well, to work within self, that ones spiritual self can work toward uphold Gods principles, and know the vile that can come when man creates fictions and allow the acts of the seven deadly sins to drive his existence.
There is an issue with black women choosing to reproduce with low quality black men, and then looking towards society acting like quality black men don't exist. That's a huge problem with black women. I know too many black men who have great jobs, are great leaders, and very positive. They will invariably get ignored for so low brow loser with jeans sagging and a bad attitude. I use to think this was just for low quality black women and hood rats, but I see middle class and upper middle class women falling into this.
And then we create the cycle of single parents, and women raising single boys, who grow up to be moronic due to a lack of male leadership. A lot of issues with the moderen black man comes from the single black mother. And we have single black mothers because black women are procreating with black men who have no values.
Just wanted to note on this comment I agree with Calli in that black women should choose quality men.
However, I'll note that many people, including men change over time. And that there are a lot of moronic men who actually are fathers to their children who teach their sons to be just as moronic as they are lol. And these are not hood, poor, stereotypical guys I'm speaking about either.
Just having a "good job" or a college education doesn't mean you are not a moron. I know a lot of moronic middle/upper income black men and they are chosen due to being in the same social class as the black women they are in relationships with/married to as they are "compatible." Yet these men will have children and seems like they revert to children themselves. I know because I have had it happen to me in my own marriage and my husband is not nearly as bad as some of my friends' spouses. But many black men today, even if they are educated and have a good career, they spend a majority of their time playing video games or watching sports and are rather sexist and misogynistic toward their wives spouses. Back in the day I got into many arguments with my own spouse and know many other women who have had similar arguments and who have divorced over the fact that their men said the women's "place" was to take care the children and do all the cooking/cleaning even though both of the parents worked and had careers. But honestly, I think this is an issue for all men, not just black men. The fact that many of them cannot do anything independently once they get into a long term relationship - they need to have their women tell them to do something or it won't get done. I know men who didn't even feed their kids all day- toddlers/preschoolers when they were at home with the children because the kids didn't say they were hungry. To me that is rather moronic. A lot of time you may think you got a "good one" had a long courtship, you are both in a good financial position, you come from good families, you have a decent career, and then you have kids and the guy expects the lady to be the household maid and servant and that it is all on her and he should only "baby sit" and get applause for changing a diaper once a week. To me a lot of that is moronic and some patriarchal BS. Especially in regards to black couples as most black men today that I know expect their women to work and contribute to the household. Yet they don't want to do anything to support the upkeep of the home and children.
Of ALL of the posters in this thread who are not black men, why am I the only one that you decided to quote and to whom you present your question?
I will gladly exit this thread if the questions above are answered with complete honesty.
This thread was intended to have a purpose similar to the "Another racial issues discussion-looking for input *especially* from fellow blacks. (generation, drugs)" thread.
It's directed toward a particular group (in this case, black men) and unhelpful contributions by others, while not preventable are not invited. Just like that thread is threatened to become useless by a barrage of anti-black people with unyielding anti-black attitudes, this thread is subject to become useless by a barrage of anti-black-male people with unyielding anti-black male attitudes.
Just wanted to note on this comment I agree with Calli in that black women should choose quality men.
However, I'll note that many people, including men change over time. And that there are a lot of moronic men who actually are fathers to their children who teach their sons to be just as moronic as they are lol. And these are not hood, poor, stereotypical guys I'm speaking about either.
Just having a "good job" or a college education doesn't mean you are not a moron. I know a lot of moronic middle/upper income black men and they are chosen due to being in the same social class as the black women they are in relationships with/married to as they are "compatible." Yet these men will have children and seems like they revert to children themselves. I know because I have had it happen to me in my own marriage and my husband is not nearly as bad as some of my friends' spouses. But many black men today, even if they are educated and have a good career, they spend a majority of their time playing video games or watching sports and are rather sexist and misogynistic toward their wives spouses. Back in the day I got into many arguments with my own spouse and know many other women who have had similar arguments and who have divorced over the fact that their men said the women's "place" was to take care the children and do all the cooking/cleaning even though both of the parents worked and had careers. But honestly, I think this is an issue for all men, not just black men. The fact that many of them cannot do anything independently once they get into a long term relationship - they need to have their women tell them to do something or it won't get done. I know men who didn't even feed their kids all day- toddlers/preschoolers when they were at home with the children because the kids didn't say they were hungry. To me that is rather moronic. A lot of time you may think you got a "good one" had a long courtship, you are both in a good financial position, you come from good families, you have a decent career, and then you have kids and the guy expects the lady to be the household maid and servant and that it is all on her and he should only "baby sit" and get applause for changing a diaper once a week. To me a lot of that is moronic and some patriarchal BS. Especially in regards to black couples as most black men today that I know expect their women to work and contribute to the household. Yet they don't want to do anything to support the upkeep of the home and children.
And you don't know any black men different from all that?
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