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Yea you can be honest without being a jerk. But the example you gave is a bit over the the top. Really - who is going to speak like that on the forums?
I don't know why but despite trying to put a lot of thought into what I write?
I never like how I sound when I run across my own posts! In fact; I actively avoid them because it just makes me cringe.
It's weird, because in person I am told by others very consistently that I "have a wall up" or "Need to let somebody in". Then I read what I wrote here on CD & it seems like I'm on a constant emotional see-saw. Sometimes I feel like I try too hard. Other times I'm frustrated that I'm so afraid to say what I mean so I just blurt it out & hit "submit reply" & then am afraid to revisit the thread. Many times I'll leave a post up & edit it for 24hrs+ before I post it & 90% of the time I edit after posting too.
I'm surprised anyone reps me at all but most of the time, it's the posts I think are the least likely to be well received that get the most points!
In the first place, bold people are more likely to join and actively participate in a forum mostly about sharing opinions. Boldness and sensitivity tend to be opposing traits, I think most would agree.
When boldness is placed in an environment where intelligent discussion is the goal (almost to be the smartest), then arrogance is going to show, maybe more than is intended.
Then there are social aspects and strength in numbers (people like feeling powerful).
Furthermore, playing tough/loud for self-amusement and distinction might not come across benignly. I think that is the case much more often for male posters.
Spoiler
That's often me. Congrats to anyone who has suspected that. Of course I'm repped very little, grr.
Also, habits develop, where people end up behaving below their own standards.
Similar problems exist in many other forums. I don't condone it, however.
Last edited by goodheathen; 10-06-2017 at 12:35 AM..
I’ve noticed that some posters who’ve been around awhile and have some of the higher rep ratings have some of the most unsavory personality traits. Narcissistic, ageist, condescending, obtuse, unempathetic,downright rude can all be used to describe some of these people. How does something like this happen? I generally have faith in humans doing the right thing, but when I see that these people tend to be highly rewarded for their behavior here, it sort of baffles me.
Am I wrong about people? Do most actually admire people with these sorts of traits? Why do you think this is the case? Is this a forum thing? Because I feel like people who act this way in real life are usually call out and put in their place, definitely not respected or admired for this behavior.
I never pay attention to just the rep points but to the ratio of number of posts created to the number rep points awarded. More often than not, good posters have greater number of rep points than posts they created.
However, I dont take notice of rep points but take notice of good posts. When I notice very good posts, these members more often than not have a higher ratio of rep points. If the post is rude I move on not bothering noticing anything else.
Maybe I'm the only one but I don't look at how many times a person is repped. The only time I look in that area if it is some bizarre, long post and then I check to see if it is a newbie. Otherwise I don't care how many times a person has been repped.
I guess my main point in all of this is that it seems like some of the most unsavory behaviors are rewarded here, on this forum, far more than we see them rewarded in real life.
If someone is a narcissistic snob in real life, for instance, I think most of us cringe at their constant gloating and self-promoting.
If someone is rude or condescending in real life, we are usually offended by it.
But on here, it would seem that these traits are placed on a pedestal given how these types of posters seem to stand out.
many politicians, corporate board of directors, wall-street execs, ... tend to be the go-getters/straight-shooters (read: a--holes).
e.g.- president trump, steve jobs, bernie madoff...
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