Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What's the deal with the tendency of some (not all), of the female gender, including female family members, to "expect" their men to also automatically be "handymen"? While some guys might genuinely enjoy doing these things, I personally can't stand most of it, and would just as soon "hire out", to have the work done by paying someone to do it.
Have any other guys, had their "manhood" called into question, if they weren't super-eager and enthusiastic, to do these kinds of "handyman" jobs, that could always be contracted out to a professional third party, and in many cases, even rather inexpensively?
My husband bought me a Hilti.
That should tell you who does all the fixin' around the house. (Not that he won't do some fixin' too... but the power drill was a gift from him to me)
Yes I agree. I don't think its right for any woman to expect her man to be able to do everything. Handyman work isn't much to ask for in a man but fixing a car is if he's not a mechanic and if you don't live together. Truthfully I prefer hiring a handyman because I know he will do more than one small job in one day
If hubby is not willing to help out with little things to do around the house then he can cook his own food and wash his own laundry :P
Lol...as I think I mentioned earlier, I wash 100% of my own laundry. As for cooking, I do it myself about 50% of the time now I would wager...or at least, as close as I can possibly come, to "cooking" that is
Thanks for the fascinating info, on why exactly it is, the "way it is"
Interesting...
Note that I said "probably" - there have to be other explanations.
Lady I dated on and off in Atlanta (I grew up there, but this was over 20 years after I moved away - was traveling more then - anyway...) assumed since I was male I automatically knew all of Atlanta like the back of my hand. If you have ever driven in Atlanta, you know not even the cabbies know *all* of that town, and even if you could know it perfectly today, tomorrow they will re-arrange some one-way roads, close some roads, open others. But she would put me in the driver's seat of her car and pipe up about wanting to go somewhere on the other side of town, as if I knew how to get there off the top of my head. Her dad was not a cabbie or a cop either.
But I do think one's parents tend to provide at least some sort of example of what a "man" or "woman" should be like and should be able to do.
I don't know if this is a matter of handiness, but my dh just shoveled both driveways. One of them is super big. We can easily fit 10 cars in our driveways. That's just awesome. One day we'll buy a snow blower!
Same deal here...we have a very long/large driveway, and can fit 8-10 cars there also.
And before anyone asks...yes, I *do* shovel it myself, every year! (Including, 4-5 times in a row last winter during Snowmaggedon, and just recently about a week ago when it last snowed.)
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 12-27-2010 at 04:07 PM..
That should tell you who does all the fixin' around the house. (Not that he won't do some fixin' too... but the power drill was a gift from him to me)
I've never gotten power tools from my SO (though I did bring the majority of the hand tools into the household when we moved in together). But he did get me a higher end sewing machine, which actually delighted me.
Note that I said "probably" - there have to be other explanations.
Lady I dated on and off in Atlanta (I grew up there, but this was over 20 years after I moved away - was traveling more then - anyway...) assumed since I was male I automatically knew all of Atlanta like the back of my hand. If you have ever driven in Atlanta, you know not even the cabbies know *all* of that town, and even if you could know it perfectly today, tomorrow they will re-arrange some one-way roads, close some roads, open others. But she would put me in the driver's seat of her car and pipe up about wanting to go somewhere on the other side of town, as if I knew how to get there off the top of my head. Her dad was not a cabbie or a cop either.
But I do think one's parents tend to provide at least some sort of example of what a "man" or "woman" should be like and should be able to do.
Guess that makes sense then, in my case...basically no father to speak of, for pretty much all of my life after I was a very young child
Because of the stupid double standard. If we ask them to do all the 'woman's duties' like washing the dishes or cleaning the toilet they'd cry sexism.
BINGO!!! What gets me even crazier is the fact that since I work with computers my wife "expects" me to solve her tech support problems whenever her laptop is not working. I remind her that she is an executive at her job and she has her own tech support she can call and I promptly hand her her cell phone to call them. This Christmas my MIL decides to get my 20 year old son a laptop and she asks me to spec it out for her. I picked the cheapest one, but still one of decent quality for her to buy. She purchases the laptop, but then gets upset with me because I refused to set it up for my son. I explain to her very nicely that I don't set up or install software on a computer going to a 20 year old who has prior working knowledge of a computer, and should be able to do these simple things on their own. She asks me what happens if he runs into trouble and I point to the 800 number on the box the laptop came in and explain to her that they tend to be very knowledgeable about their own products.
BINGO!!! What gets me even crazier is the fact that since I work with computers my wife "expects" me to solve her tech support problems whenever her laptop is not working. I remind her that she is an executive at her job and she has her own tech support she can call and I promptly hand her her cell phone to call them. This Christmas my MIL decides to get my 20 year old son a laptop and she asks me to spec it out for her. I picked the cheapest one, but still one of decent quality for her to buy. She purchases the laptop, but then gets upset with me because I refused to set it up for my son. I explain to her very nicely that I don't set up or install software on a computer going to a 20 year old who has prior working knowledge of a computer, and should be able to do these simple things on their own. She asks me what happens if he runs into trouble and I point to the 800 number on the box the laptop came in and explain to her that they tend to be very knowledgeable about their own products.
While I'm not in IT, I do work with computers a lot and do set up systems as part of my job.
So I'm the designated "support" person in the family. It does get old, I gotta admit.
If anything was to be done I had to do it myself or "hire out". We couldn't always afford to hire someone but we did it anyway. My dad was handy with things, and if he didn't know how to do it he would work through or find someone who did who could help him learn. He helped me out with most things over the years until he just got too old. The thing that really botherd me wasn't just that my husband couldn't or didn't want to do anything but that by NOT EVEN CARING about doing it he never seemed invested in or connected to anything like I was. No pride of ownership. Not the yard, not the house, and eventually not the kids or the marriage.
I always joked that in my next life I was going to marry a handy man. Now, maybe that will happen in THIS life. BTW, I do all the cooking and laundry too so don't even get me started on that stuff.
I hate to say it, but in my experience, there are more deadbeat guys than girls . . . most every woman I know raises kids, cleans, cooks, works outside the home . . .some also do yardwork. The guys play video games, watch sports, etc. Not much handyman work going on around the house and not much even "helping" with daily chores (and it shouldn't be called "helping" because that assumes it is the woman's job and the male's contribution is optional_.
I have never seen holidays where the males shop, wrap, bake cookies, make lasagna, cook all manner of food, serve it, and wash up afterwards. The men just stroll in, gobble up the food, open a few presents and leave or watch TV or go to bed. No real contribution.
There are one or two exceptions. A male did cook a ham this year and does tend to cook a lot but he is an exception in our family. He is also super handy with everything and is not lazy, which most men are in terms of allowing other people to clean and pick up for them.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
BTW, I do all the cooking and laundry too so don't even get me started on that stuff.
