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From my understanding, many girl friends are willing to help their other girl friends with dates or casual acquaintances; yet, it seems you are claiming a double standard for your guy friends. Would your guy friend have had an "agenda" if you had set him up with one of your girl friends for fun? It seems, to me, that he would not have developed an agenda and you would still be friends with him.
You also seem to be confusing serious relationships with a simple friendship with a guy. It is not the same thing. Many women have that same, one track mind when it comes to guys and friendship.
When I actually tried asking female friends (and I asked, quite a few) for romantic help with their female friends; e.g., blind dates, etc., it resulted in absolutely nothing.
They either weren't willing to help, or they said they would help, but then never followed through on it -- they kinda "disappeared", and I never heard from them again. If by chance they resurfaced for whatever reason, they didn't bring the subject up at all again. If I was so bold as to "politely request an update" (only did that with like 1 or 2 requests at most), they conveniently "ignored" my e-mail.
The whole bit about gals being willing to set guys up with their female friends is, in my experience at least, greatly exaggerated and overblown...
When I actually tried asking female friends (and I asked, quite a few) for romantic help with their female friends; e.g., blind dates, etc., it resulted in absolutely nothing.
They either weren't willing to help, or they said they would help, but then never followed through on it -- they kinda "disappeared", and I never heard from them again. If by chance they resurfaced for whatever reason, they didn't bring the subject up at all again. If I was so bold as to "politely request an update" (only did that with like 1 or 2 requests at most), they conveniently "ignored" my e-mail.
The whole bit about gals being willing to set guys up with their female friends is, in my experience at least, greatly exaggerated and overblown...
Unfortunately, I think there must be something about you that makes you difficult to match with someone else. You seem to have pretty high standards and have difficulty meeting women who interest you. Your friends may be sympathetic but not know anyone they think you would like. It would be pointless to fix you up with someone if they felt it wouldn't go well.
I dated a guy for close to six years. We were engaged to be married. It did not work out between us but we parted as friends. A few years later I fixed him up with a girl I worked with because they both surfed and loved to travel. They dated for four years.
I think all you can assume is that, for whatever reason, your female friends don’t know anyone who they feel would be a good fit for you.
When I actually tried asking female friends (and I asked, quite a few) for romantic help with their female friends; e.g., blind dates, etc., it resulted in absolutely nothing.
They either weren't willing to help, or they said they would help, but then never followed through on it -- they kinda "disappeared", and I never heard from them again. If by chance they resurfaced for whatever reason, they didn't bring the subject up at all again. If I was so bold as to "politely request an update" (only did that with like 1 or 2 requests at most), they conveniently "ignored" my e-mail.
The whole bit about gals being willing to set guys up with their female friends is, in my experience at least, greatly exaggerated and overblown...
It is not exaggerated, just misunderstood. My female "just friends" have an innate urge to hook me up I always decline which oddly only adds fuel to the fire. That being said, I would never outright ask them if they knew anyone that I could hook up with.
You have to ask yourself how does woman number one see you in her eyes? Are you a good guy or did you brag about your one-night-lay to her last week? Did you ever vengefully rip/talk your ex up? Are you a positive, trustworthy person? Are you drama? She asks herself this because she may very well be risking parts of her own relationship with woman #2 if things don't work out.
I'm different in that I don't like meeting through friends. That is just me and my issues though. That being said, it doesn't stop me from casting my rod to see what I can bring up. I don't take women for being idiots. If I describe to one exactly what kind of woman I'm looking for, I know very well she is doing a run down of her friends in her head. I don't have to ask outright. And if she feels like playing match-maker, so be it, if not, o well.
Unfortunately, I think there must be something about you that makes you difficult to match with someone else. You seem to have pretty high standards and have difficulty meeting women who interest you. Your friends may be sympathetic but not know anyone they think you would like. It would be pointless to fix you up with someone if they felt it wouldn't go well.
I dated a guy for close to six years. We were engaged to be married. It did not work out between us but we parted as friends. A few years later I fixed him up with a girl I worked with because they both surfed and loved to travel. They dated for four years.
I think all you can assume is that, for whatever reason, your female friends don’t know anyone who they feel would be a good fit for you.
You're probably 100% on-target there -- I guess I just wish that they would actually *tell* me that though, instead of just giving the "silent treatment". To be honest, the silence, hurts more than the fact that there was no one available or that they could find, for me.
You're probably 100% on-target there -- I guess I just wish that they would actually *tell* me that though, instead of just giving the "silent treatment". To be honest, the silence, hurts more than the fact that there was no one available or that they could find, for me.
I understand. Sometimes people, in an effort to be kind, wind up being more hurtful than if they had been honest. It is a shame.
It is not exaggerated, just misunderstood. My female "just friends" have an innate urge to hook me up I always decline which oddly only adds fuel to the fire. That being said, I would never outright ask them if they knew anyone that I could hook up with.
You're very lucky there my friend; it's kinda the exact opposite situation, for me. (Female friends knowing I'm single and looking, but unwilling or at best very hesitant, to help me change that.)
You have to ask yourself how does woman number one see you in her eyes?
I have no idea -- they never offered any feedback on that?
Are you a good guy or did you brag about your one-night-lay to her last week?
One-night stands are something, I have absolutely never done, and will never do -- I have never been intimate with a girl, and will not be intimate with someone, unless I am married to her first.
Did you ever vengefully rip/talk your ex up?
Never done that either.
Are you a positive, trustworthy person?
Yes --based on feedback, I have received from others in the past anyway?
Are you drama?
I severely doubt it.
She asks herself this because she may very well be risking parts of her own relationship with woman #2 if things don't work out.
I'm different in that I don't like meeting through friends. That is just me and my issues though. That being said, it doesn't stop me from casting my rod to see what I can bring up. I don't take women for being idiots. If I describe to one exactly what kind of woman I'm looking for, I know very well she is doing a run down of her friends in her head. I don't have to ask outright. And if she feels like playing match-maker, so be it, if not, o well.
Ever steer the conversation towards anything remotely flirtatious or sexual? Women date lovers not brothers. I don't know if drama is exactly what they're seeking out...maybe more implementing a serious of tests to determine if you're a sexual being.
Same goes for me as a man. If all an attractive woman wants to talk about or do is mundane "safe" conversation and activities, I lose my sexual inclinations towards her. I'm not saying she must be an outright kink queen but throw a curve-ball once in awhile. I mean we are both attracted to each other, who are we fooling? Comment on my butt, chest, arms, smile...lips...anything really. Subtlety touch my arm during conversation, touch anywhere really
I to had to learn the ropes. My problem was the sheer terror of making a move! I never wanted to offend, be a perfect gentleman, white knight, whatever. Problem was I never jumped, never just went for it. And truth be told, I can admit, it would've be kind of awkward having sex with me
Now, after some form of trust has been built of course, I'm not shy at all about expressing attractions, intentions, flirting, touching, etc. I think after awhile, one learns how to time the progression as so not to be too soon or late.
From a girl, "Let's Just Be Friends" = "Get Lost" = kiss of death for *any* sort of relationship; friendship, romantic, or otherwise
Bottom line is, when they say "let's be friends", they don't really mean that, in the sense of real friendship, that is...
In my opinion, women are stereotyping in the wrong direction. To me, putting a guy in the friend zone is like putting a nice guy "on the shelf" for future reference. I guess a guy can always work on relating with women regardless, but it usually helps if he is not being denied or disparaged sex because of it.
When I actually tried asking female friends (and I asked, quite a few) for romantic help with their female friends; e.g., blind dates, etc., it resulted in absolutely nothing.
They either weren't willing to help, or they said they would help, but then never followed through on it -- they kinda "disappeared", and I never heard from them again. If by chance they resurfaced for whatever reason, they didn't bring the subject up at all again. If I was so bold as to "politely request an update" (only did that with like 1 or 2 requests at most), they conveniently "ignored" my e-mail.
The whole bit about gals being willing to set guys up with their female friends is, in my experience at least, greatly exaggerated and overblown...
Do you believe that is a double standard? Guys are usually willing to help girl friends in that manner; simply for the sake of friendship.
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I always decline which oddly only adds fuel to the fire. That being said, I would never outright ask them if they knew anyone that I could hook up with. 
OMG...YOU'RE FRIEND ZONED!!!
