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As a man just don't be a doormat and don't compromise on your beliefs or what makes you truely happy in life for a relationship and you'll find the right woman.
If you have to be an Ed Hardy wearing cocky D-bag to get the attention of the woman you are interested in then she is not worth it.
What do you believe to be a better coping strategy for guys? Chicks can always just go out and get laid by most any guy that is easy and convenient; the same is not always true of men.
If a woman rejects me, I don't need to say "your loss" in order to make myself feel better about myself. Why? Because I know that I'm exactly the same person I was before she rejected me and the things I liked about myself haven't changed. That's how a man should cope, not by saying some childish like "your loss."
As for your second point, yes women can find sex a lot easier than men. So what? Maybe sex isn't their biggest priority.
Quote:
Originally Posted by danielpalos
The pedestal argument doesn't make any sense to me or work for me. In my opinion, guys can never have too many girl friends. Why would a guy want to put a girl friend on a pedestal if he didn't help "create" her and his name isn't Pygmalion?
Why is it so hard for you to understand? Did it ever occur to you that not all guys think like you, that maybe some guys don't want several girlfriends, but only one? A lot of guys put a girl on a pedestal because they suffer from low self-esteem. They think she's too good for them, that they don't deserve her, and if they don't worship her, she'll find some other guy. From a woman's perspective, that's an awful feeling. It's nice to be admired, but to be seen as perfect puts a lot of pressure on you to live up to that. That's a big reason why most women like guys who stand up to them. One is that it shows he's confident in himself and doesn't let her walk all over him. Two is that it makes it easier for her to be herself. She can let you see her flaws and not worry that you'll immediately run away.
If a woman rejects me, I don't need to say "your loss" in order to make myself feel better about myself. Why? Because I know that I'm exactly the same person I was before she rejected me and the things I liked about myself haven't changed. That's how a man should cope, not by saying some childish like "your loss."
As for your second point, yes women can find sex a lot easier than men. So what? Maybe sex isn't their biggest priority.
Why is it so hard for you to understand? Did it ever occur to you that not all guys think like you, that maybe some guys don't want several girlfriends, but only one? A lot of guys put a girl on a pedestal because they suffer from low self-esteem. They think she's too good for them, that they don't deserve her, and if they don't worship her, she'll find some other guy. From a woman's perspective, that's an awful feeling. It's nice to be admired, but to be seen as perfect puts a lot of pressure on you to live up to that. That's a big reason why most women like guys who stand up to them. One is that it shows he's confident in himself and doesn't let her walk all over him. Two is that it makes it easier for her to be herself. She can let you see her flaws and not worry that you'll immediately run away.
Thank you thank you thank you, Denny!!! That's what I was trying to say, but I couldn't think of the words to say it. The pedestal thing is what ended my last relationship, as he ran away as soon as he saw my "flaws" (god forbid, I'm human?).
like Denny says, getting on the defensive when you get rejected and saying mean things to the girl like "your loss"...is an a-hole move, big time! So now you're not a "nice" guy anymore, but a jerk. A true "nice" guy does in fact, get the ladies. That's the point many of us have been trying to make here.
"Oh no! Not another "nice guy vs. Bad Boy" thread! This has been done more times than Tommy Lee has been turned-down from playing at a Lilith Fair concert.
But for the record, here's the deal: most women indeed do want a nice guy to settle down with. But they dig Bad Boys for the occasional dirty fling. And then for fantzasizing about after they've settled down in a boring relationship with Mr. Nice Guy."
Oh dang, i really feel sooo enthused about tying the knot, taking the the vows of till death do us part, buying a house, working my butt off after she's been doing the nasty with all those nasty, dirty "exciting guys" and has finally decided to settle down with me, a boring Mr. Nice guy...
"Oh no! Not another "nice guy vs. Bad Boy" thread! This has been done more times than Tommy Lee has been turned-down from playing at a Lilith Fair concert.
But for the record, here's the deal: most women indeed do want a nice guy to settle down with. But they dig Bad Boys for the occasional dirty fling. And then for fantzasizing about after they've settled down in a boring relationship with Mr. Nice Guy."
Oh dang, i really feel sooo enthused about tying the knot, taking the the vows of till death do us part, buying a house, working my butt off after she's been doing the nasty with all those nasty, dirty "exciting guys" and has finally decided to settle down with me, a boring Mr. Nice guy...
hot diggety dang I'm sooo excited...
No, there's boring nice guy that I don't know why I'm with, and then there's stable, I-like-being-with-this-guy nice guy. Big difference!
I'm amazed at how so many posters understand my nasty bitter posts and are not nasty in return.
speaks well of those who respond to me, they must be mature or have a real depth of understanding.
do you think many guys feel the same way, that they don't want to be thought of as a boring nice guy who gets compared to the dogs who balled his SO before they got married? or is it just me?
I'm amazed at how so many posters understand my nasty bitter posts and are not nasty in return.
speaks well of those who respond to me, they must be mature or have a real depth of understanding.
do you think many guys feel the same way, that they don't want to be thought of as a boring nice guy who gets compared to the dogs who balled his SO before they got married? or is it just me?
I didn't find your last post nasty so why would I need to be nasty in return?
Anyways, I don't like to be called boring so why would any guy want to be called boring? Who's doing the comparing? the girl he's with? he needs a new girl if that's the case.
Why is it so hard for you to understand? Did it ever occur to you that not all guys think like you, that maybe some guys don't want several girlfriends, but only one? A lot of guys put a girl on a pedestal because they suffer from low self-esteem. They think she's too good for them, that they don't deserve her, and if they don't worship her, she'll find some other guy. From a woman's perspective, that's an awful feeling. It's nice to be admired, but to be seen as perfect puts a lot of pressure on you to live up to that. That's a big reason why most women like guys who stand up to them. One is that it shows he's confident in himself and doesn't let her walk all over him. Two is that it makes it easier for her to be herself. She can let you see her flaws and not worry that you'll immediately run away.
It is not so much that it is difficult to understand, but that many guys don't say what they mean when it comes to obtaining sex, even if it requires a relationship.
We may not be on the same page with girl friends; why do you believe a guy can have too many (girl) friends. In my opinion, that line of reasoning is not always compatible with our objective reality; however, I do acknowledge that many guys (and women) have been "indoctrinated" to believe certain things.
In my opinion, establishing a friendship with women should solve the dilemma you present since we don't usually judge our friends too harshly.
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