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Too many so called nice guys are either nice until they get what they want or realize they AREN'T getting what they want. Either that, or the term is falsely applied to the doormat types. You can be a nice guy and still command respect from people.
So, is that because women need a convenient label even if it is wrong? What do you suggest would be a better label for nice guys?
I have always wondered about the phrase "playing hard to get." If somebody is doing it on purpose because their buddy told them that was the secret to getting girls, then, IMO, that is B.S.
But if somebody is just trying to get to know my character better before showing any signs of attraction, then I would not consider this B.S but rather smart.
ya, I've never played hard to get. If I want someone, they will know! If I'm iffy, I get to know them more before, like you said, before I show any signs of attraction as I'm not in the business of leading someone on because I couldn't make up my mind. thats unfair.
noooo...bad boys are too much of a challenge. You have to make them love you and beg for their affection, no thank you! I like myself too much to tolerate that b.s.
What if it is easier to get return privileges from them? Isn't that part of the battle over "dating"? Or, are you claiming the challenge part is that they are willing to be bad boys with all the other girls?
What if it is easier to get return privileges from them? Isn't that part of the battle over "dating"? Or, are you claiming the challenge part is that they are willing to be bad boys with all the other girls?
The challenge is, I'm just another ex girlfriend to them. no thanks. if he doesn't value me, then why should I value him long enough to tolerate that fickleness?
I can only speak for myself and my experience in this. I did not know what it meant to be treated nicely or attentively nor did I know how to do it myself.
A boyfriend treated me nicely and I did not know how to return it, even felt embarrassed for him that he wasn't "macho" enough. I felt right at home with jerks because I could return the treatment quite well.
It may have been situational. Some nice guys don't want to resort to physical force with the weaker sex if their safety doesn't require it. I don't mind banter and I know I can usually win an argument with wo-men.
Did you consider simply asking for more of what you want?
Consider that lying to a nice guy for a relationship can be considered worse than a nice guy lying to a woman for sex. Conversely, am I really a nice guy if I cannot handle the truth from a woman, even if she comes up to me and asks if she can put her scent on me for future reference. Nice guys should not need to resort to single syllables if they are paying nice guy dues.
Last edited by danielpalos; 01-06-2011 at 02:08 PM..
She wouldn't necessarily WANT to bust the b*alls of a guys she cares about and loves. You're confusing what John said - it's not that his fiance would choose to treat him that way, or that any woman would do so, it's that she wants someone who stands up for himself and isn't a pushover. I know personally I don't want the response to my questions to always be "whatever you want dear." Have an opinion.
Not wanting a doormat and busting b*lls are completely separate ideas. I want the former, that doesn't necessarily mean I'll automatically DO the latter.
It is interesting you have that perspective since many bad boys like some women simply because they are push overs more automatically for them.
Going off on this, what does it mean when people say a 'bad boy' doesn't "put up with a woman's BS"? What sort of things qualify as "BS"? It's almost as vague as the terms 'bad boy' and 'nice guy.'
In my opinion, it may mean that bad boys are not really into it for a meaningful relationship.
When you're young, you tend to take things for granted. You figure the nice guy will always be there. But for now, you can go after the bad boy who's cool, fun, etc.
I think it is simply a matter of practice making perfect instead of having to lie for sex or a relationship.
It may have been situational. Some nice guys don't want to resort to physical force with the weaker sex if their safety doesn't require it. I don't mind banter and I know I can usually win an argument with wo-men.
Did you consider simply asking for more of what you want?
Consider that lying to a nice guy for a relationship can be considered worse than a nice guy lying to a woman for sex. Conversely, am I really a nice guy if I cannot handle the truth from a woman, even she comes up to me and asks if she can put her scent on me for future reference?
I would say that it depends on the type of "nice" guy I am asking and what you thought I wanted.
There are nice guys who were bred this way. In other words, they were treated well by family and guided so that they chose acquaintances and friends well.
Then there are nice guys who are nice because it is the nice thing to do.
What I wanted was not what you hinted at. I think either type of nice guy would enjoy this. I was referring more to disrespect and not necessarily physical abuse.
Last edited by crisan; 01-06-2011 at 01:57 PM..
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