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Now let me ask you this: Why are all you girls working? Does your husband not make enough to support the family alone or do you all really like working just for the sake of it?
Only speaking for myself. My first marriage, no. We were young and just starting out so he didnt make much money. Even if he did, I was a child of the 60's and 70's watched my mother be dependant on my father financially and vowed never. After that marriage fell apart, I supported myself and kids for a very long time. By marriage #2, I had a good job, why on earth would I quit and be dependant on someone else for money. The thought scares me.
Im no longer married but I like working for the money. To be independent. To challenge my mind. To feel like a contributing adult. To interact with other educated adults.
Well isn't that a blanket statement. My husband has taken over here while I was away or in the hospital...he wouldn't agree with you. He's more than ready to go back to his cushy office where he can delegate out responsibilities and go on his 2 hour lunches, tour the world going to trade shows...etc. while I juggle the household, all the kids activities and everything else.
Thankfully he does realize that when he walks through the door, he is just as responsible for the kids and what has to get done in this house as I am.
I agree. As someone who has always worked and been a single parent, my paying job has always been a lot easier. When I take time off, even now, I say I need to go back to work so I can rest.
Just out of curiosity at what income level is upper middle class that the majority of women are SAHMs?
I would have assumed that an upper middle class women would be more educated and have a higher paying career than say a middle class or lower middle class and thus be less likely to give up a good salary to stay home than a mother who wasnt making much money anyway.
This is really a difficult question and I can't really answer it. All I will say is that the women I know have husbands who make from 500K or more a year, and they live in 800k+ homes. These women simply don't have to work unless they want to; most of them don't
lol, one lady I know spends every other day shopping.... You should see her house; it's filled to the brim with all kinds of unused purchases.
only speaking for myself. My first marriage, no. We were young and just starting out so he didnt make much money. Even if he did, i was a child of the 60's and 70's watched my mother be dependant on my father financially and vowed never. After that marriage fell apart, i supported myself and kids for a very long time. By marriage #2, i had a good job, why on earth would i quit and be dependant on someone else for money. The thought scares me.
im no longer married but i like working for the money. To be independent. To challenge my mind. To feel like a contributing adult. To interact with other educated adults.
My SIL posted this on her Facebook page a while back--you'd probably get a kick out of it:
I've seen that before...it's so true!
I was away this past weekend...a leisurly trip to Charleston. He had control of the house from Thurs to Sunday. He was VERY ready for me to be home on Sunday and left me a whole lot of chores to catch up on. He did the best he could, but I'm just better at it which is why I stay home.
He's better at working out of the home so that's what he does. I've worked full-time and I always managed to either take work home with me or wind up working overtime, so it was always a stress on the family.
Most of my chores are done before he gets home however, there are some that can't be done before that (such as the dinner dishes, laundry from the kids sports that evening, helping with homework, getting the kids showered and in bed...etc).
I guess it was just never that much work in the evening when I was the SAHM. Home work was done when they got home. I am not sure what work the parent is required to do for showering. Kid go take a shower. I did laundry every am, so the "evening" sports laundry would have been the next day's regular laundry. Clean as you go during dinner cooking makes post dinner a 10 minute all hands on deck job.
A lot of "can't" are really just hey let's relook at solving that problem.
This is a funny topic. My partner and I (gay male couple) have been together 15 years and have 2 young children. I'll admit it takes a little creativity to find the time when you have little kids and full time careers. One way is that we're able to work from home, so we can schedule "lunch dates" when the kids are in school.
But recently several of our male/married neighbors were talking about this and complaining about how they never got any. They were talking about "once a month" as well. They asked us if it was like that after having kids and they seemed a little jealous that we still knock out at least 2 or 3 a week lol!
And I've always wondered what kind of man would WANT their wife to stay at home and not work? I would imagine it would get awfully boring. For both partners.
As with anything, it has its benefits and drawbacks. We had a lot more leisure time. The kids got a lot more parental attention....
I guess it was just never that much work in the evening when I was the SAHM. Home work was done when they got home. I am not sure what work the parent is required to do for showering. Kid go take a shower. I did laundry every am, so the "evening" sports laundry would have been the next day's regular laundry. Clean as you go during dinner cooking makes post dinner a 10 minute all hands on deck job.
A lot of "can't" are really just hey let's relook at solving that problem.
My kids don't do homework until after dinner...after school we are running to sports until about 8pm. Sweaty, muddy clothes (practice uniforms) can't wait until the morning because they have to be packed in their bags for the next day so that is always a must.
Sure, it's "kid go take a shower" and then getting them ready for bed. I don't sit and shower them (well my little one I still wash his hair) but we have to cycle 4 kids through the bathroom and without parent involvement it becomes a fight.
I do clean as I go during dinner, but there are 6 of us and someone has to clean the table off, pack up the leftover food and do the dishes. The kids are usually starting their homework at that point so it's me and the husband.
I'm not saying it's hard work...all I'm saying is the "chores" aren't done at 5:00 and I am not the one that will be doing all of that...if he's at home, there is no reason he can't pitch in. Same for the weekends...on the weekends he's home and he can pitch in.
It all really can't be reworked logistically. I do start dinner prep in the afternoons so I don't have a ton of cooking pots but I can't do the dishes until they eat off them.
I'm not complaining about it, it's what we chose in life, however I would never sit and read a paper or play on the computer and make him do all of that...and I would never expect him to act in that manner either.
Well isn't that a blanket statement. My husband has taken over here while I was away or in the hospital...he wouldn't agree with you. He's more than ready to go back to his cushy office where he can delegate out responsibilities and go on his 2 hour lunches, tour the world going to trade shows...etc. while I juggle the household, all the kids activities and everything else.
Thankfully he does realize that when he walks through the door, he is just as responsible for the kids and what has to get done in this house as I am.
Well, it's debatable.... Sounds like your husband has a good job in a senior position, which as a result, offers more perks, but what about all the Joe Blows who work in a factory all day, or construction sites?
In other words, the majority of men work hard, demanding, thankless, soul crushing jobs, so when they get home they should be allowed to rest and recuperate.
Along the lines of the same issue, we men are so kind and compassionate to you women that we often underestimate how hard our jobs are, all while blowing the work that you girls do at home (or even at your office jobs) out of proportion just to make you feel good.
Think about it, many of you girls ask how your mans day was, and all he says is, "it went fine.", when in fact, he's lying just to conceal all the bad things that happened (death, murder, had to fire somebody.. ect) as to not trouble you with it.
Meanwhile, you girls will go on and on, about how, say, the dishwasher broke, or you got a flat tire on the way home from work, and your man just sits there and listens to you attentively with compassion and empathy giving you more credit and airtime then he really should because the issue is trivial.
Last edited by calicali01; 03-27-2012 at 02:45 PM..
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