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She broke up with me. Just in a very polite, clean way. Just after a huge orgasm that "she'd been waiting for all day."
She loved my horses, the trips through the Hill Country, and my veal scallopine. Doctors are reliable, responsible, and practical, ...well "she can find that anywhere". The woman wants the excitement of the new, the flashy, the edge. Great while it lasted. But when an adult woman says that it's over, it's over-- an adult man agrees.
Interesting idea. I see some of that. I do believe that it is incumbent upon the person desiring to communicate an idea to be sure they are understood, and not to put the responsibility onto the person they are engaging to understand. This means the instigator needs to work towards speaking in the manner of the person they are talking to. If both parties desire to have a healthy relationship they will meet in the middle somewhere. I have real problems with men being told that they are supposed to engage women as other women engage women. I think most women would agree that they do not want to be talked to in the way that men talk to each other. There is and should be a difference in how men and women communicate with each other.
One of the most sobering things I've had to learn is that men and women both have HUGELY different communication protocols, and in general, they both make the mistake of assuming the other understands, or should inherently understand the meaning of things they say. The problem is, they don't, mostly because they aren't even aware of the mis-communication when they are actually speaking the same language (English for example).
I'm not suggesting that men be less than men and talk like women, or conversely that women be less than women and talk like men, but rather learn just how differently we communicate and always factor that into communications. Women WANT men to be MEN, and that includes learning how to understand women, without becoming a women in the process.
A man and a woman driving together, she says, "Are you hungry?" He does a quick biological assessment, correctly answers "No" and continues on driving.
To the uneducated male, his response was perfectly logical, accurate, and appropriate, because, in fact it was. HOWEVER, another women would instinctively know that her question was really a statement that she was hungry, and was trying to open a dialog with him, hoping he was already considering her hunger and had been thinking about a plan/options that would be good for both of them.
Was he wrong? Not if he were traveling with another man, but he wasn't, and he wasn't educated enough in woman-speak to understand the communication protocol that she assumed everyone understood, and became angry at him for not "getting it", since she, in turn, obviously wasn't educated enough in man-speak either.
What I'm describing isn't a flaw in either men or women, but a lack of education. Make Sense?
She's a wealthy fifty-ish, divorced real estate agent with no children whom I've dated over the last nine months; I'm a fifty-five-ish, busy physician.
I answered her statement, "You don't have needs, just desires. And if you did have needs, I would'nt have the time nor the desire to fulfill them." Without hesitation she responded flatly, "OK".
I uncuddled, got up, got dressed, then while turning toward the bedroom doorI said, "Good bye". Driving home, I saw those moments over in my mind as watching a scene in a movie. Politeness goes a long way...
One of the most sobering things I've had to learn is that men and women both have HUGELY different communication protocols, and in general, they both make the mistake of assuming the other understands, or should inherently understand the meaning of things they say. The problem is, they don't, mostly because they aren't even aware of the mis-communication when they are actually speaking the same language (English for example).
I'm not suggesting that men be less than men and talk like women, or conversely that women be less than women and talk like men, but rather learn just how differently we communicate and always factor that into communications. Women WANT men to be MEN, and that includes learning how to understand women, without becoming a women in the process.
A man and a woman driving together, she says, "Are you hungry?" He does a quick biological assessment, correctly answers "No" and continues on driving.
To the uneducated male, his response was perfectly logical, accurate, and appropriate, because, in fact it was. HOWEVER, another women would instinctively know that her question was really a statement that she was hungry, and was trying to open a dialog with him, hoping he was already considering her hunger and had been thinking about a plan/options that would be good for both of them.
Was he wrong? Not if he were traveling with another man, but he wasn't, and he wasn't educated enough in woman-speak to understand the communication protocol that she assumed everyone understood, and became angry at him for not "getting it", since, in turn, obviously wasn't educated enough in man-speak either.
What I'm describing isn't a flaw in either men or women, but a lack of education. Make Sense?
Much better said, and I can agree with this.
I am much more likely to want to converse with the person I am with so that question would have gotten a response more like "Not yet, does anything sound good to you?" Which then gives the opening for her to say something like "A good steak" or "Anything, I am famished" to move things along.
Funny even without an understanding of what you describe, if a couple doesn't rush into the bedroom too soon in the relationship they are much more likely to have meaningful conversations earlier that will give each of them the insight into the other person they need to navigate these simple conversations.
What I don't understand is why didn't you ask what you could have done to get her off? Are you so set in your ways that you know that after X minutes of each of X positions you know you're going to get off and if she isn't I'm done anyway? Saying it nicely doesn't mean it wasn't said coldly.
You got up, dressed and left. Clearly you and maybe even her didn't care for the relationship or else one of you would have gotten emotional, and maybe she did after you left.
I realize that it takes a big man to face the fact that you haven't been able to please this woman in the sack, and from your post, you aren't mature enough to have that discussion.
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