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Again - after hiding her behavior for so long, it felt tremendously relieving to finally tell the people I've interacted with the past nine years what was actually going on. I was emotional, but not feeling alone as friends and family commented on how disguesting it is, was nice.
If you want to discuss it among your close friends and family in private, that is fair enough. But that is NOT the same thing as publicly posting on Facebook about it, letting everyone, even the most casual of acquaintances - or worse, co-workers - know about it. That puts them in a very awkward and uncomfortable position, knowing far more about your personal life than what is socially expected. And ultimately, that kind of act is about revenge, not getting support and comfort from loved ones.
An old friend of mine posted on Facebook when her husband cheated on her for the fourth time. I care about her but I still felt it was inappropriate. The next time I was with her and her husband (because she just keeps forgiving him!) it was very awkward. There was definitely a pink elephant in the room because it was none of my business (we are old friends but not extremely close anymore) but they knew that I knew.
I suppose that if I wanted to be as immature and petty as the OP, I'd have followed up with a status update that said, "The previous status update was posted by my future ex. So, can you blame me?"
Quote:
Originally Posted by darrensmooth
so what did he do to justify her cheating/having an affair?..Apparently there is a justification that I wasn't aware of.
The emotional distress of him hacking her Facebook is obviously what caused her committ that infidelity.
I know no judge in the US of A would even entertain his case after committing such a disgusting act.
I'm not sure what they had written in their vows, but if they went with standard marriage vows he broke his vows too. He didn't exactly love, honor and cherish her.
Thanks - however, I don't remember you being in our marriage.
Yes, I may have refused a hug right before leaving for work, I may have laughed when I saw her crying - before I realized she was upset and tried to see what was going on - I may have went upstairs when her family came over...
While I feel bad about some of those things, and didn't realize how other people may take that behavior - I strongly disagree that THAT equals me not "loving, honoring, and cherishing her."
And frankly - considering we met as teens and were eachothers first relationship - I think 9 years together, allowing each other to get an education and start careers, buying our first home in mid 20s, and us ending on friendly terms is pretty darn good.
It could of been better, yes, but we learned a lot together, and will be better partners in our next relationship. I wish I found out about the Aspergers thing earlier on, I wish it wasn't the last few months of our nine year relationship when I finally learn how to interact with her family, and they learn how to interact with me.
I think you need to rethink your definition of "friendly." You keep saying that you and your wife are friends, yet nothing you post indicates that you are. Pretty much everybody agrees that you both are being very nasty to one another, "justified" or not.
For everyone keeping a hawks eye view on all my posts - this happened around two months ago. I just have the night off tonight, am drinking a beer, and sort of am feeling a bit ashamed...wandering if it's appropriate or not..
Anyway, there were two men involved in this -
A. The guy she slept with (a crush from high school).
B. Her internet friend from the state we moved away from.
So - while she was out cheating on me with the other man - was it completely wrong of me to update her facebook status to something like "Currently cheating on my husband.."
- and then when I found out internet friend knew of (and encouraged) her to do it - was it wrong for me to (I don't even think you can do it) tell him I was going to name him in the divorce papers (for emotional affair, sending her sexual material, etc)..?
I also wrote on the other mans facebook about cheating with another guys wife, how if those were his standards he may as well have her...
She ended up deleting her facebook account when she returned (after about 20 friends commented on it..), and internet friend refuses to talk to her, tells me he's "sorry" and regrets what he's done...
Should I feel ashamed of my behavior?
I have no desire to "fight" this guy, as that's idiotic, proves nothing, and unlike him - I actually have licenses and a career on the line, to which an assault charge would completely interfere with..
You acted stupid but not dumber that many other people who were emotionaly involved... You probably wanted to make the world see that she is not such an angel after all. Congratulations, you succeeded and I hope it was worth it.
Now. Whatever happened, happened, you did not assault or kill anybody. No real harm done. Forget about that women, it takes time, I know. Get another girl, preferably with better boobs / legs / face etc. and be happy. That's the best revenge of them all.
P.S. Don't listen to women who tell you your are a total jerk, first of all you were not the one cheating here and second, women do the same or worse things when they are hurt and want revenge. Much, much worse than hacking someone's facebook account. Believe me
I think you need to rethink your definition of "friendly." You keep saying that you and your wife are friends, yet nothing you post indicates that you are. Pretty much everybody agrees that you both are being very nasty to one another, "justified" or not.
Because they don't understand we're 8 weeks past this event, we talked about it to death (with her family as well), decided we're better off not married, and came up with a plan to both move on.........
She came home that night (after doing him), I told her I changed her facebook thing, she signed on and deleted the comments then her account.
That was about two months ago.
Today (8 weeks after this incident..), we cook together, get food together, she dates while I'm at work, I date while she's at work, I'm excitedly researching what state I want to move to next (Alaskas winning), looking at jobs there, etc etc etc.
We still have each others passwords, but there's no reason to do anything, as the marriage is over. I want her to find a good man, and I want to move on and pursue a higher degree and my career, in a state I actually want to live in.
As I said in the other thread, I was going to wait a week before sending any email to her family about the suicidal comments - she hasn't made any since (although she cut on her arm, but states she feels better now and wont do it again...).
She's met a guy she really likes talking to - I'm excited for her. I'm excited for me.
Believe it or not, but I WANT to sign on to facebook one day and see her smiling with a baby and another man. I just don't want to be the other man...
Who cares? Your wife's a ho, what special treatment does she deserve? lol.
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